Banned from breastfeeding group for objecting to males breastfeeding

[snickerdoodle1990]

Hi everyone,

I gave birth a few months ago and had some breastfeeding difficulties, so joined a local breastfeeding support group in my city. It’s basically a place to go for support with feeding, plus meet other mums/have a cuppa and biscuit etc. They also have a FB group. It’s become a nice, friendly place to go once every couple of weeks.

Recently, a trans-woman (male) has joined the group asking for support because their wife has not long had a baby and the trans-woman is wishing to breastfeed too, apparently through use of hormones and domperidone (?) to stimulate supply (I did not realise this was possible at all)

I really really object to this person being present in a group of women who are seeking breastfeeding support, trying to come together in their breastfeeding experience and also revealing themselves intimately

I told the group leader my concerns and she basically told me to shove it - said that the group is a safe space for everyone and they support all who wish to breastfeed and that I shouldn’t come back because I am a bigot

I am horrified as are the other women, where do we all stand and what would you do?

"Narrow minded"

Incorrect, The Op wasn’t kicked out because of a male, she was asked to leave because her views didn’t align with the views of the support group

But apparently trans women can actually breast feed so why shouldn’t they attend a breast feeding support group, it was open to all as confirmed by their reaction to the OP’s views

It has absolutely everything to do with misogyny and the fact that you can't see it only reflects your own ignorance of the subject and naivety.

There is little point in going around in circles. You're the outlier here.

Hopefully as the rest of the group share the OP's concerns they will set up a safe space free from the intimidation of the presence of a man who selfishly decided to encroach at such a vulnerable time.

Ridiculous, disgusting. What's the world coming to? Put up a formal complaint to the group organiser, and get the other women to leave en masse. Form your own group. That should teach them.

From what the OP said this person had expressed a desire to potentially breast feed, not that they were currently able to do so. They therefore need medical help to achieve that seriously dodgy objective, not advice from actual breastfeeding women. So even removing the fact that they are a male in a group designed for women they still shouldn't be there.
The organisers are seriously out of line and if this group receives even a penny of public money they should be come down on like a ton of bricks.

FFS it has nothing to do with misogyny, but you cannot seem to comprehend that?!?

Her views didn’t align with the person who kicked her out. There’s no way to tell if every other person participating in the support group agreed with a new mother being kicked out of the group to provide a safe space for a biological man whose likely purpose for joining the group is for better engagement with his kink.

Because this guy is going to need to take a lot of drugs to be able to produce any fluids from his breast tissue and it’s highly unlikely that this fluid will be appropriate or even safe for the baby to consume.

They can’t do this naturally. They need to take synthetic hormones along with large doses of supplements and at least one other drug (which I shall not specifically name) in order to induce lactation.

The combination of all of those drugs hormones and supplements makes it not safe for the baby to consume the resulting bodily fluids produced.

This isn’t what is best for any baby. But I highly suspect there is no baby and this person is doing all of this as part of their kink.

But she wasn’t kicked out because of a man which is what you had said

She was kicked out because a biological man (who identified as a trans woman) joined the new mothers breastfeeding support group and she voiced her concern over this.

This is exactly why she was kicked out.

That is beside the point, they were at a breast feeding support group looking for advice on breast feeding and the group organisers made it very clear they were welcome to attend

That it's a sexual fetish, and not good for the baby is beside the point!

Hopefully the OP can organise a new support group specifically for new mothers who are breastfeeding to ensure adequate nutrition for their babies and not to enable biological men to engage with their kink.

A man coming into a group of horrified women at a vulnerable time in their lives, some of whom may for religious or cultural reasons would not be permitted to be there with him in such a forum....and you claim it has nothing to do with misogyny?! 🤣

Pull the other one it has bells on.

I won't be trolled so crack on with having the last word. We got ours in court 👍

It wouldn't surprise me if a breast feeding group was automatically deemed women only. And therefore comes under the remit of the Supreme Court ruling. If there is such a thing.

Personally, I'd love to see it taken to the wire. I'd love to see the entire country witness all the pro trans arguments for why it's narrow minded not to allow men to sit around in breastfeeding groups

Nothing screams male entitlement like intimidating an entire group of vulnerable new mums to get your kicks does it!

She could do that but there is a possibility that it could be considered discriminatory

You really don’t get it at all do you. It’s like discussing something with a small child

For me this begs the question, how easily could a woman struggling to breastfeed get these drugs on prescription? As far as I'm aware if you have a low supply you just get told to formula feed! But a biological man can get these drugs to help his "supply"? Absolutely crazy.

No there isn't

I attended Le Leche years ago and my husband came with me and was welcome, as were other husbands. So no, it's not necessarily a women's space only.

Also, it seems a lot of people don't understand that there's a difference between personal opinions that are based on nothing and any actual attempt to learn before arguing. If you don't have actual medical knowledge of trans issues or know someone who is trans personally and closely, chances are good that you have no idea what you're talking about when adamantly arguing.

For ex. there are many different reasons someone's gender and sex don't line up neatly, including those with physical and genetic roots.

Also, it's ignorant to go on and on something transpeople nasty words like "delusional," engaging in a "kink" or a "fetish," for example. Without legitimate sources that back that up, that is vicious bullying of the easiest to pick on amonv us- not a good look.

Similarly, before bleating ignorant opinions, one might do a quick internet search on if men actually can breastfeed or not. The answer is "yes."

An intelligent person learns before taking a strong stand on any issue and realizes that just because something is how they're used to thinking about something does not in any way mean that's the be all, end all of the topic.

Let's raise the IQ of the discussion. Best wishes, all. Be kind.

I would have continued to attend the Le Leche meetings. As I mentioned above, when I went, husbands were welcome so it was not a women-only space anyway.

You'd likely have had some of your incorrect assumptions answered and most likely been happy instead of wound up in this unnecessary drama because you weren't allowed to say who else could or not attend a group that doesn't belong to you. When you do that, it's not surprising when the one no longer welcome is you.

I guess the common denominator is mother, though. 🧐

It's quite common to get the medication.