Banned from breastfeeding group for objecting to males breastfeeding

[snickerdoodle1990]

Hi everyone,

I gave birth a few months ago and had some breastfeeding difficulties, so joined a local breastfeeding support group in my city. It’s basically a place to go for support with feeding, plus meet other mums/have a cuppa and biscuit etc. They also have a FB group. It’s become a nice, friendly place to go once every couple of weeks.

Recently, a trans-woman (male) has joined the group asking for support because their wife has not long had a baby and the trans-woman is wishing to breastfeed too, apparently through use of hormones and domperidone (?) to stimulate supply (I did not realise this was possible at all)

I really really object to this person being present in a group of women who are seeking breastfeeding support, trying to come together in their breastfeeding experience and also revealing themselves intimately

I told the group leader my concerns and she basically told me to shove it - said that the group is a safe space for everyone and they support all who wish to breastfeed and that I shouldn’t come back because I am a bigot

I am horrified as are the other women, where do we all stand and what would you do?

Wouldn't the milk contain the drugs though? It pisses me off that transgender people are medicated up to the eyeballs but are allowed to do nonsense like this whereas actual women avoid medication, alcohol, etc in order to give their children the best start in life. Same with trans identified women taking testosterone then getting pregnant.

This really fucking hurts me because I tried and tried to breastfeed I was told I wasn't producing milk and my baby started onto formula no pills no help no support no medical intervention yet had I been born a man they would be falling over themselves

This is really insane, he won't ever be able to produce more then a few drops. As others have said some men do produce milk as a side effect from medicine. But as he is physically male, he won't have the breast tissue to be able to feed a baby even if it was only occasionally. Even some women who have lack of breastfeeding tissue struggle or are unable to feed their babies (there is a specific condition but I can't remember what it's called).

I do feel sorry for the poor child.

This is absolutely disgusting. Name and shame the group that are supporting a man to ‘feed’ a child. Wtf is coming out of him. It is not fair to feed that to an innocent baby

I truly don’t know, but I was googling tonight after this incident and came across lots of forums on reddit etc that suggest people in the trans community do just this. How they get the meds or do it, I really couldn’t say

Sorry, pic attached that I meant to do before!

I’m not in any way recommending men should be inducing lactation, but, all men have residual breast tissue, (behind their nipples) that can secrete fluid in a condition known as galactorrhea. It’s difficult to find good info on this now as the internet is currently full of fetish based trans nonsense, but gynecomastia is a condition where men develop significant breast tissue, and when the secretions are analysed it is similar to female breastmilk. I’m not condoning the inclusion of a man into what should be a single sex space, but it’s important to be factual.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7462406/

Well if everyone who felt the same way as you stopped going because of this the leaders would need a rethink. Voting with your feet is the answer, shame though it is.

Unfortunately this is a thing, look up Mr Menno on YouTube interviewing a breast feeding councillor, it’ll make you feel better. I have my own opinions about men who do this, and all relate to the abuse of the baby. Breastfeeding is about the needs of the baby, nothing else. It’s beyond sickening that women/experts think it’s ok, because it isn’t. I’d gather the other women who disagree and leave, loudly. I’d personally shout about it to anyone who’s willing to listen, but I’m quite Terfy and don’t care who I piss off now 🤣. But I’d make sure that everyone local who’s pregnant and may use this service knows about it. Hopefully the more the general public hear about this the more pushback it’ll get, like the rapists In women’s prisons got. Meanwhile, enjoy your baby and hopefully get support from the other (sane) mums.

@snickerdoodle1990 if the group is run by individuals, without the backup of an organisation then it’s possibly not the best group to be attending. Without good up to date training, on breastfeeding, latch & positioning, and a bunch of other things including safe guarding and confidentiality agreements, it’s not a safe space.

Can you see if any of the recognised breastfeeding support organisations run groups in your area? Not only will you get accurate advice, you’ll be able to insist they abide by the SC ruling on single sex spaces.

I am continually amazed at how crazy the world keeps getting. It’s twisted and the poor baby! Why is nothing sacred for women anymore?! We can’t even be allowed to be called mothers in case it offends anyone.. now this!

I meant because OP is a new mother herself - so if SS are completely captured, they may decide to investigate OP’s parenting instead if they think her views (that men are not women) are ‘concerning’ to them and pose some sort of ‘risk’ to her child.

Sure, it would hopefully not go anywhere, but they can still make OP’s life unpleasant and stressful by forcing her to jump through their hoops if they’re minded to.

Obviously, in a sane world, the notion that SS would investigate a new mother for saying that sex is real would be completely preposterous, but there have been so many bizarre decisions by various authorities in modern times that I don’t personally trust the words “that could never happen” any more.

Good god please let there be an end to this madness!
”Give me wife a break from breastfeeding “
Read fulfill your insane wish to breastfeed a child when you were born, and are, a man.
Who the fuck are these women that allow this shit to happen?!?!

As another poster said, for gods sake look after your child!

Unfortunately I can completely believe this. I ended up leaving two different online breastfeeding support groups because they a) seemed very willing to allow trans women to join, b) supported the use of the term “chestfeeding” rather than breastfeeding and c) frequently referred to “parents who breastfeed” rather than “mothers” in order to be more inclusive…

It’s not similar to breast milk, which changes consistency between feeds to meet the needs of the baby. All men on hormones produce is some sort of milk like secretions. After the BBC tried to report men’s milk was as good as women’s, it was thoroughly debunked. Women produce milk in quantities men can’t. The male breast tissue is different to women’s too, not surprising since we were designed to feed babies, men are not. There also has been no research on the damage done to the baby, taking on who knows what drugs (whilst women are told not to even take paracetamol or eat soft cheese 🙄) , or the fact that anything else fed to the baby (bottle etc) risks disrupting the natural supply of the mum.

The world’s gone mad

What kind of mother even considers this for her baby? wtf

I agree it is bizarre behaviour from the mother but don’t make a woman responsible for the extremely questionable behaviour of her husband. It’s him who is in the wrong here. (And the breastfeeding support group leader).

I didn’t know that was possible either, surely as they don’t actually have natural breasts the amount of milk they could produce ( if they can) would be minimal?

It’s ridiculous, that should be a safe place for women

So sorry this happened to you. You are right the world has gone mad and the women who go along with it are just as creepy as the men doing it. I hope you manage to find another group.

The most important person in the room is the baby. The focus should always be on what is best for the baby.

An adoptive mother may like to induce lactation for her baby. This would be a better option than only formula milk

A lesbian couple may wish for the non birth mum to induce lactation if the birth mum is going back to work after a few weeks / months for example or often has long periods of time away from baby

However, a non birth mum who just wants to experience breastfeeding and the birth mum would have to pump for every missed feed in order to support this non mothers 'want' is clearly not in the best interest of the baby or the birth mum

Same with a transwomen...not got the baby but the for the TW. Let alone the chemically induced excretions are nothing like the responsive breast milk gym the birth mum

....and...women have a right to meet as a single sex group. The dynamics of a women's only support group are totally changed when there's a man present.

They’re both equally awful

I’d be sceptical of that pub.med. It is only the abstract, and this stuff is so lacking in any rigour that you’d have to see the research proper. There is so much citing that can be based on a house of cards.

I do remember one instance of some lad ‘reporting’ (remotely) to a doctor about his amazing secretion production. This was not only unverified, but became some sort of report.

Actually, I'd be contacting Social Services. That man is a wrong 'un who is involving a child in his sexual fantasies.