I’m about to start a new job working with a TRA and I’m nervous

[abitnervousohbugger]

This person will not be my colleague as such as works for a different organisation, but I will be working closely with him. I have just looked at his social media (work profile) out of interest and he seems very much a trans rights activist. Which I don’t have a problem with at its core, I just don’t think they are the same as women’s rights. But he seems to think they are. Or rather, he clearly has no interest or sympathy with women’s rights.

Anyway. I don’t know why but I just feel worried and disappointed. This person is a big voice in my new area and I am very new and junior and weak. It makes me doubt myself. And it makes me angry that this self important bloke (he isn’t trans by the way) can make really loud opinions on social media, despite representing a small charity, but that my tiny little opinion that women should be able to access services without men however they identify would be perceived as vile and bigoted. I just feel like I’m constantly having to defend my brain from being brainwashed by gender ideology. I feel like I’ve stumbled onto the wrong planet sometimes. The people I used to agree with the most about fairness and equality and justice just hate women. Just fucking hate them.

Yes, yes, yes!

You are creating a problem where none currently exists @abitnervousohbugger.

Congratulations on your new job.👏👏👏 Ten years is a long time to be out of the workplace, but I'm sure you'll adapt well, apply the skills you have learned this past decade and rise to whatever challenges arise.🙂

"I feel like I’ve stumbled onto the wrong planet sometimes."
Agreed, I feel like something went horribly wrong and up is now down. I would like to go back to the original planet where sanity reigned.

I wouldn't worry about being brainwashed because reality, biology and the law is on your side. You are right, he's wrong. Even worse that he is not even trans yet he is fighting against women's rights. If you need a dose of sanity I find X an excellent place to fuel my rage against gender ideology madness. Also, the detrans sub on reddit and seeing the damage it has caused should keep any brainwashing at bay if you feel you are getting sucked into the the infinite pity party of the "poor victims".

I have to say you are right to consider this and be prepared so you don't get blindsided.

My brother dresses up in women's clothing and hangs around in bars.since the ruling he's absolutely gone ballistic on social media and with the wider family. He's also pushing the public toilet usage aggressively. He's 6ft and broad and used urinals for 45 years so I'm not at all worried about him.

He has been really pushy about getting us to say TWAW which neither my mum or I can stomach. We deflect, we claim ignorance because clarifying boundaries won't happen on an individual basis.
Everytime he kicks off and we keep quiet, we donate to the gardening requests protecting society through the law. It balances my conscience.

And maybe they feel the same about you sharing your views? That's right only yours count hey?

He’s a TRA - a women-hating, reality-denying activist - but I’m the ‘unhinged’ one… okay then. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

He's a stranger to you @Screamingabdabz . You literally don't know anything about this man. However this thread isn't about him, it's about the OP's concerns about returning to the workplace after a prolonged absence and working alongside people different to her.

It's not about you.

@Missey85 I don’t think only my views count and I absolutely would welcome the chance to discuss matters rationally with those who believe women don’t have the right to single sex spaces. I would bloody love to understand that view point, believe me. But as we have all seen, people lose jobs when they try to have those conversations. Also, I don’t use social media for any kind of opinion other than ‘ooh look at this lovely view’ ever, and certainly would not if I also represented an organisation. And also! I have absolutely no problem whatsoever in anyone campaigning and shouting about trans rights if that is their passion, but I don’t understand why those rights can’t be alongside women’s rights instead of feeling like those rights and the language to describe being a woman is being taken away.

Genuine question, and I honestly want to understand I am not after a fight, do you not think there are ever any circumstances where a woman may need to be in a space without a man? Do you honestly believe that those who have been sexually abused and raped don’t have the right to meet or access support of females and females alone? I keep feeling that I have misunderstood the arguments because how could anyone be so cruel as to expect that those who are vulnerable due to the actions of men don’t have the right to meet or seek help away from those who are male.

consider trying to sow seeds to undermine his reputation slightly. When he comes up in conversation with others I would wrinkle my nose a bit

Horrible advice. I’d be surprised if that’s didn’t fall foul of HR guidance. I’d also suspect that it might make your colleagues wary of you and how you speak about them.

Absolutely dont undermine his reputation
Just stop looking at his social media.
You are going to have to work with people you violently disagree with. I do.

He sounds horrendous, I would be minimising contact with him if I were you.