Gender Neutral Loos

[LoveCherryTree]

So I went to a restaurant on Saturday with my girl friends. I go to the loo, and a lad walks out of one of the cubicles, ok, that’s ok, bit surprised, I go into another, finish and walk out to wash my hands, another guy also in the “communal” part of the loo….feeling slightly nervy about being alone in a room with two strange men, but try to just do what I usually do, wash my hands, both men come to stand either side of me and ask me if I’m having a good night, try and just be polite and say yes whilst trying to just get out of there, when one says, “do you fancy a better night?”
they both get too close for comfort and start cornering me towards one of the cubicles whilst laughing. I am literally panicking thinking what the hell, luckily another two women walk through the door and the guys laugh and walk out.
I’m sorry, but I’m not a nervous person, but this really scared me, why do we need communal loos, AIBU to ask if we could just stick to male and female separate loos to avoid such incidences and I’m not saying all men are the same! I’m just saying, walking into a communal loo with a stranger or two can be bloody nerve wracking?

Yep I agree. Tell the restaurant and / or avoid spending your money there.

I hate them with a passion. Even setting aside the argument about NAMALT, I just hate sharing loos with men I don't know from a hygiene perspective. It's totally different to a family bathroom.

But following the SC ruling, I fear many more restaurants and bars will resort to unisex toilets to avoid having to set up third spaces.

We have some at work and I don't mind from a safety point of view - there is no door to the room, just on each cubicle, but there is always piss all over the seats and floor and I have never known that in women's toilets.

I don’t see any real problem with gender neutral loos, but they surely, for everyone’s sake, need to be single toilets, not several in one place, that way the ladies don’t end up in situations like the OP describes.

Never had an issue with mixed sex facilities. Plenty of smaller spaces have them and make more sense

I have been in the odd place with these mixed loos....I really really don't like them.

what’s with all the threads about public toilets this week?

YADNBU and I’m very against places having only gender neutral spaces for this reason

They don’t bother me. I have been to enough establishments in my life that have them. As long ad the loo cubicle is fully enclosed, I don’t mind if sink area is communal. i don’t even think they are that new - I recall seeing them when I was at uni decades ago.

I did see loos the other day at The Old Vic which were interesting. Not gender neutral but also no sex markers. The doors just said “loos” with a blurb on one saying “this loo contains X number of cubicles…” and the other saying “behind this door are X number of urinals and two cubicles”.

I may be misremembering exactly but I found it fascinating.

In practice they were still sex segregated though as only women were in the one that were mainly cubicles and men in the one with just urinals.

Also a lot of tiny venues I know have them just for practicality. As in two fully enclosed toilet rooms open to all.

I’ve never had an issue with gender neutral toilets but that sounds horrible! What a couple of nasty bellends.

I bet it being cheaper than having two facilities is the appeal to businesses. That it also comes with a fig leaf of being "right on" is the cherry on the cake.

I went to a theatre in Hammersmith i think it was🤔

same set up as you described expect the ladies had a queue of men and women and there was no one but my husband in the gents 😳

I don’t mind if they’re like at our local Wagamama- a corridor with several rooms with proper walls and full length proper doors, with their own toilet, sink, drier and sanitary bin, plus one larger accessible one and a separate baby change room too. It’s no different to most accessible toilets not being single sex.

I have come across a couple of restaurants which just have one unisex room equivalent to a typical ladies loo with gaps around partitions etc - hate them and I won’t return to those restaurants.

Were you inspired by the other thread about this exact issue?

Did this really happen or did you make it up to join in with the rest of the people wanting to hit us over the head with a blunt hammer about public toilets?

This is why I can’t let my daughter go to the toilet alone, and to be honest I don’t know at what age I will feel like I don’t need to stand outside the door.

I was taken aback by a set up like this in KFC - a long corridor then one big unisex room with washing facilities then individual cubicles. Couple of guys in there when we got in the door & it did make me feel
uncomfortable that if one stood behind the door we would be completely trapped and isolated.

I have used mixed genders toilets for years as they've always existed, I have never ever experienced anything like this. Men and women do the exact same thing when they get out of the loo, they ignore each other.

I am really struggling to believe this happened as a random restaurant on a Saturday night.

I would have gone in the gents.

I actually used to do that frequently when I was younger. No queues.

I know what I think…

Our local Uni has All Gender toilets and I sometimes take DS16 and a few of his mates to watch a certain sport there.
I try not to use them but if I do the boys wait outside to stand guard for me
They then go in after me, they don't want to share a loo with me any more than I do with them.
To be fair there are normally sex specific loos as well but they are in a different building and are used as changing rooms so unavailable when the sporting matches are on

I have used mixed genders toilets for years as they've always existed

yes, individual rooms with a sink and obviously toilet in have existed for ages and ages

mixed sex rooms with a few cubicles in and washing facilities outside of the cubicles have not ‘always existed’

I'd report this as sexual harassment to both the restaurant and the police.
The restaurant will have them on cctv.
The next person they corner could get sexually assaulted.

I would have gone in the gents

A) I didnt know it was empty until dh came out
B) I have zero interest in going in walking past urinals to use the one cubicle which knowing my luck would be broken/in use
C) my kids were in the ladies…most surreal 😀

D) there wouldnt have been such a big queue if a load of men hadn’t been in there!!!!