Gender Neutral Loos

[LoveCherryTree]

So I went to a restaurant on Saturday with my girl friends. I go to the loo, and a lad walks out of one of the cubicles, ok, that’s ok, bit surprised, I go into another, finish and walk out to wash my hands, another guy also in the “communal” part of the loo….feeling slightly nervy about being alone in a room with two strange men, but try to just do what I usually do, wash my hands, both men come to stand either side of me and ask me if I’m having a good night, try and just be polite and say yes whilst trying to just get out of there, when one says, “do you fancy a better night?”
they both get too close for comfort and start cornering me towards one of the cubicles whilst laughing. I am literally panicking thinking what the hell, luckily another two women walk through the door and the guys laugh and walk out.
I’m sorry, but I’m not a nervous person, but this really scared me, why do we need communal loos, AIBU to ask if we could just stick to male and female separate loos to avoid such incidences and I’m not saying all men are the same! I’m just saying, walking into a communal loo with a stranger or two can be bloody nerve wracking?

You really need to tell the restaurant what happened.

I thought Mumsnet was supposed to help and support each other, why do some have to turn nasty.
I had a rather scary experience, one I wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially a young girl, I would feel awful and angry if this had happened to any of my daughters when they’re older.
I’m sorry, but it’s just not safe.

I’ve had awful experiences with men in gender neural toilets so my girls and I avoid public GN loos like the plague for safeguarding purposes. Thankfully i manage the ones at work ok (my colleagues are DbS checked) but there’s piss everywhere, so sticky and scummy.

Cloudwater in Manchester has THE WORST toilets.

Its two urinals and two cubicals for everyone. In the same room.

They are badly positioned too, so there a whole shuffle past the men going to wash their hands as you leave - if theres a man in there you are effectively cornered and don't have a clear exit to the door.

I refuse to go in there again. Besides which the beer is overhyped and Track across the road is far far better and less pretenious and wanky.

I can easily imagine it happened, especially on a Saturday night but really any night when men are out in packs and there's no safe place for women. And I am sick to death of women having to beeee kiiind and let men walk all over their boundaries.

this. The statistics speak for themselves. Women are safer in single sex spaces.

I was hoping this ruling would now protect womens only spaces at work but seems the company is supporting trans colleagues. Lots of internal posts from trans women who are still expecting to use the ladies loo / querying if they can. No official response. Biological women are too scared of the repercussions at work if they speak up so only trans and trans supporter voices are being heard.

Agree. I unwittingly went in one at a restaurant, unnerving to walk out of a cubicle and come face to face with a man. To be fair he looked equally as uncomfortable. Had the smell of a gents toilet too, no thanks won't be going to that restaurant again. Also been in a single unisex one in a Costa- again bad smell and urine on the floor. Single sex facilities only or no custom from me, and in future I'll be checking by email before booking what their facilities are or asking before I'm seated if it's a walk in.

It's illegal for employee loos to be like that.

Or maybe it’s neither, we just aren’t bothered and a number of us are used to wiping piss off seats in women’s toilets too.

I think when 90% of posters say they use mixed sex toilets or their work has mixed sex toilets they are talking about individual rooms like in a coffee shop

There are newish gender neutral toilets, a lot of them, at Seven Sisters, Cuckmere Haven. They could have easily been segregated for male and female as there are 2 separate lots in the same area. They smell foul like a mens urinal and are constantly splashed with wee on the floors and seats. On many occasions I have walked in to find a man using a cubicle like a urinal and not even closed the door. There are children using these toilets too. I think it's disgusting. Many people chat amongst themselves in there about how there was no need to have all these gender neutral toilets. The cubicle are all individual,
but seeing a man in the same area is very off putting. Even men are not comfortable with it. No way was there the need for these to be communal. When I use the toilet I want to feel safe and keep a bit of dignity. This is not possible in gender neutral toilets. I should not feel anxious for whatever reason using public toilets. It's unnecessarily causing anxiety. I want privacy. I suffer with UC and the last thing I need is to be made anxious when I have to rush to the loo. It's bad enough living with the condition it doesn't need to be made anymore fraught.

Thanks for proving my earlier point 😁 . On other threads you have spent a lot of time arguing against women’s interests and here you are now to try and undermine women’s argument for single sex provision by claiming an unfeasible situation.

This vast number of ‘as filthy as the men’s’ women’s toilets seem only to be encountered by women who argue against women’s needs for single sex spaces.

Even men who identify as women know that women’s toilets are cleaner than men’s. Are you saying they are wrong too?

OP has related a frightening snd entirely preventable situation, as have others. Do you have no sympathy for them at all?

They are mixed sex toilets
They are gender neutral toilets

Mixed sex sounds different to gender neutral when looking at public service provision like toilets.

The service provider knowing the crime rates (all crimes from theft to assaults) in the area and choose to provide semi-private mix sex areas where people "undress" and so feel vulnerable.

Skygarden - unisex loos. Play as on the floor and seats. They Do have a cleaner constantly cleaning them.

but best part is when a man walks past the long Queue to the front expecting a single male toilet. The cleaner soon tells them to get to the back of the queue! Join the club mate!!

This is also my experience of the mixed sex toilets I encountered at the beach - converted from the ladies obvs. - The men are very bad at closing the door while they have a wee so you have walk past open doors with men having a wee to get to a cubicle.

I don’t get why some women are so keen on arguing for the interests of men (ie pushing for more mixed sex toilets) yet refuse to acknowledge the needs of most women. Does it give them a (false) sense of superiority? I can’t work it out.

Yes! I have ben there 3 times and it’s happened every time….very funny

Is it illegal? My work place has several buildings.

In one building the staff loos are in one big room. That room has 5 cubicles. 2 have men signs, 2 have women signs and the remaining one just has a picture of a toilet on the door. So I assume it's a mixed sex toilet. The wash facilities are not within the cubicle.

I've often wondered if this is OK or if they get away with it, because in other buildings there are single sex options.

You don't mind wiping or sitting in some random guys wee? Ugh. Unfortunately, it speaks volumes to low bar and standards you are used to. That is vile.

I have seen work places with one room and cubicles marked as mens or womens. But with large gaps above and below so men could easily sneak a peak from the neighbouring cubicle.

The thing is, good toilets has always been a women's issue. Men just need a wall to shoot at. Women have to deal with hygiene, periods, kids, staying safe and thus need better facilities.

It's like we're in the 3rd world fighting for decent, safe toilets all over again.

I don't mind the unisex toilets in my children's school which are individual self contained loos coming straight off the main hallways. And I don't mind the one at work off the changing room (again self contained) except that the men stink it up (but tbf otherwise don't make a mess) but I don't like other ones

What why can’t they give women single sex cubicles. If they don’t have room for that then do enclosed single sex.

Make the men's loo gender neutral and keep the ladies single-sex. Sorted.

The mEn are too scared of other mEnz and can't watch the LaDiEz