Page 2 | Gender Neutral Loos

LoveCherryTree · 2025-04-21T18:55:30+00:00

So I went to a restaurant on Saturday with my girl friends. I go to the loo, and a lad walks out of one of the cubicles, ok, that’s ok, bit surprised, I go into another, finish and walk out to wash my hands, another guy also in the “communal” part of the loo….feeling slightly nervy about being alone in a room with two strange men, but try to just do what I usually do, wash my hands, both men come to stand either side of me and ask me if I’m having a good night, try and just be polite and say yes whilst trying to just get out of there, when one says, “do you fancy a better night?” they both get too close for comfort and start cornering me towards one of the cubicles whilst laughing. I am literally panicking thinking what the hell, luckily another two women walk through the door and the guys laugh and walk out. I’m sorry, but I’m not a nervous person, but this really scared me, why do we need communal loos, AIBU to ask if we could just stick to male and female separate loos to avoid such incidences and I’m not saying all men are the same! I’m just saying, walking into a communal loo with a stranger or two can be bloody nerve wracking?

JLou08 · 21/04/2025 20:33

If this genuinely happened it sounds like an awful experience and I'm sorry you went through it.
It's convenient timing for all the current hate on MN around shared spaces. They've been around for years and it's only recently and only on MN that I am hearing about any issues with them.

SwornToSilence · 21/04/2025 20:34

This

but there is always piss all over the seats and floor and I have never known that in women's toilets.

JLou08 · 21/04/2025 20:35

Allofthelightss · 21/04/2025 20:21

This is why I can’t let my daughter go to the toilet alone, and to be honest I don’t know at what age I will feel like I don’t need to stand outside the door.

I was taken aback by a set up like this in KFC - a long corridor then one big unisex room with washing facilities then individual cubicles. Couple of guys in there when we got in the door & it did make me feel
uncomfortable that if one stood behind the door we would be completely trapped and isolated.

Do you have a son? If so do you worry about him going to the toilet alone?

skippy67 · 21/04/2025 20:36

All our loos at work are gender neutral. They're great! Self contained cubicles, all with mirror, sink, and floor to ceiling doors. They're much better than the single sex ones we had before. Sorry for your experience OP.

NewShoesForSpring · 21/04/2025 20:36

Hmmmmm 🤔

MidnightPatrol · 21/04/2025 20:37

Two things I hate about mixed toilets:

often men use the toilets like urinals, with the doors open. This is gross.
They also often just piss all over the seat and the floor, which is less of an issue in women’s toilets IMO as we all actually need to sit down.

postmanshere · 21/04/2025 20:37

The real problem is men just pee all over the seats and floor. It’s so awful.

beadystar · 21/04/2025 20:37

I agree. A restaurant I like has changed to gender neutral toilets. They are down a corridor in the basement. You can smell male piss from the hallway, and they aren't nice. I only met one guy in there who looked as uncomfortable as I was, but the whole thing was grim. They also clearly had a male refurb staff who put the mirror up so high that a 5 foot 4 woman struggled to see her eyebrows.

JHound · 21/04/2025 20:39

SwornToSilence · 21/04/2025 20:34

This

but there is always piss all over the seats and floor and I have never known that in women's toilets.

People must be lucky because I frequently am confronted by piss on seats in women’s toilets. I think some women “hover” and however they do it they are not doing a good job of it.

TheOriginalEmu · 21/04/2025 20:40

We have had them in my work place for years. It’s never been an issue.
that sounds a scary experience, but that could just as easily happened in a women’s toilet, unless there is a bouncer on the toilet doors.

Original poster

LoveCherryTree · 21/04/2025 20:41

The support on here is unreal, this did happen, I haven’t said it to jump on any bandwagon wagon, I haven’t seen any other posts about this.
Just because you haven’t personally experienced something like this, does not mean it doesn’t happen…..it happened to me!
There were others loos as it is a large restaurant on several floors so there is no need to have communal loos and when it’s just a separate loo and basin great, but when it’s a communal hand washing room I do feel nervous…..sorry about feeling that way!

OP posts:

Original poster

LoveCherryTree · 21/04/2025 20:43

And work places don’t usually have pissed up people and you usually know the people!

OP posts:

Didimum · 21/04/2025 20:44

Report to restaurant and to police. They will have CCTV to identify them?

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 21/04/2025 20:45

LoveCherryTree · 21/04/2025 20:43

And work places don’t usually have pissed up people and you usually know the people!

Edited

I have never heard of a work place with a room of cublcles and a wash area that is mixed sex

NewShoesForSpring · 21/04/2025 20:48

I find women's toilets often utterly disgusting with piss ALL OVER them. The amount of ridiculous women who 'hover' <code for freely piss all over the seat & floor> is astounding.
Even in work. We have no gender on the doors but there's a sort of accepted usage where the women use the one on the left & men the one on the right. Fully contained, each with a sink etc
The women's one is often left wet & disgusting
I wish women would stop that stupid practice

Limeandbasil90 · 21/04/2025 21:10

I’m really sorry this happened to you! Are you ok?

Original poster

LoveCherryTree · 21/04/2025 22:08

Limeandbasil90 · 21/04/2025 21:10

I’m really sorry this happened to you! Are you ok?

Thanks, I am, but it makes me very wary of going into one again. It just doesn’t need to happen, that’s what annoys me, it’s completely avoidable!

OP posts:

JHound · 21/04/2025 22:09

NewShoesForSpring · 21/04/2025 20:48

I find women's toilets often utterly disgusting with piss ALL OVER them. The amount of ridiculous women who 'hover' <code for freely piss all over the seat & floor> is astounding.
Even in work. We have no gender on the doors but there's a sort of accepted usage where the women use the one on the left & men the one on the right. Fully contained, each with a sink etc
The women's one is often left wet & disgusting
I wish women would stop that stupid practice

I often wonder about some of the women who use ladies toilets. My stereotype is women are cleaner but then I see some of these toilets. Shopping centre and train station toilets appear to be the worse.

And if it’s not piss on seats it’s sanitary products that have not been disposed of properly.

TheOriginalEmu · 21/04/2025 22:13

LoveCherryTree · 21/04/2025 20:43

And work places don’t usually have pissed up people and you usually know the people!

Edited

Well that depends on where you work. I work in a FE college, I don’t know 80% of ths people in the building at any one time, and there are definitely drunk people there sometimes. But I wasn’t intending to down play your experience, more to point out that in some places GN Bathrooms work well.

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 22:14

There's a pub in Bristol that has signs for people who want cubicles and the other one for people who want urinals (or something to that effect).

So guess what, all the men were in the cubicles making the queue for what used to be the women's double what it normally is.

And if you think about the reason they are doing this!! It's not progressive, it's backward.

ErrolTheDragon · 21/04/2025 22:17

NewShoesForSpring · 21/04/2025 20:48

I find women's toilets often utterly disgusting with piss ALL OVER them. The amount of ridiculous women who 'hover' <code for freely piss all over the seat & floor> is astounding.
Even in work. We have no gender on the doors but there's a sort of accepted usage where the women use the one on the left & men the one on the right. Fully contained, each with a sink etc
The women's one is often left wet & disgusting
I wish women would stop that stupid practice

I’ve hardly ever found anything like that.
I did go into a women’s loo with a soaked seat recently (unusable, I waited for the next one) - but the previous occupant had been a boy maybe 8-9 years old.

JHound · 21/04/2025 22:27

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 22:14

There's a pub in Bristol that has signs for people who want cubicles and the other one for people who want urinals (or something to that effect).

So guess what, all the men were in the cubicles making the queue for what used to be the women's double what it normally is.

And if you think about the reason they are doing this!! It's not progressive, it's backward.

This is what the Old Vic theatre has.

Except the space with urinals was just men using it and the space with cubicles, just women using it.

NewShoesForSpring · 21/04/2025 22:27

ErrolTheDragon · 21/04/2025 22:17

I’ve hardly ever found anything like that.
I did go into a women’s loo with a soaked seat recently (unusable, I waited for the next one) - but the previous occupant had been a boy maybe 8-9 years old.

Show quote history

Well I would suggest that you are very lucky as I've encountered this far more times than I care to remember. It's a very frequent occurrence.

Fairyliz · 21/04/2025 22:31

Bearbookagainandagain · 21/04/2025 20:24

I have used mixed genders toilets for years as they've always existed, I have never ever experienced anything like this. Men and women do the exact same thing when they get out of the loo, they ignore each other.

I am really struggling to believe this happened as a random restaurant on a Saturday night.

Edited

Wow what a wonderful life you have lived, never experiencing men being threatening and intimidating.
Where do you live, certainly not the shithole I live in.

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 22:32

JHound · 21/04/2025 22:27

This is what the Old Vic theatre has.

Except the space with urinals was just men using it and the space with cubicles, just women using it.

Show quote history

Well that wasn't what was happening in the pub in Bristol.

I think it was two male students in a cubicle together having a right laugh about something. Then another bloke in the other one and 4 women queuing.

Perhaps alcohol added to the situation, who knows.

Either way. Having a situation where women have to queue longer because they are no longer female toilets and (for obvious reasons) urinal spaces are not suitable for women, is not progressive.

Single sex facilities should be the norm.