What are you feeling since the judgement?

[BlessingKalmly]

A space to explore the emotions, thoughts and feelings post judgement; that Women are BORN and not worn.

A request: If TRA's join and derail, PLEASE can we totally ignore them like we might a gnat. Please let's not unfocus from us, the women who have seen this fight through to the end

Personally, I'm feeling a whole range of emotions.

I feel elated, I have that feeling like I have to almost pinch myself to remind myself that this madness has ended. I feel emboldened to speak my truth, I feel powerful in protecting my sisters. I feel slightly in shock... as if I haven't fully been able to process the madness of the past few years.... it's been constant fight, fight, fight for our rights, and only now can I stop and take stock of WHAT THE F* went on.

At the same time I feel so DEEPLY effing ANGRY at the men lamenting over not being able to give away rights that were never theirs in the first place. Men lamenting over something that has no impact on them.

I feel deep sadness and frustration that people can't seem to find a single fuck about severely disabled, or elderly women who deserve the right to truly female only care.

I feel so confused over how fucking stupid some people are, sharing memes and propaganda without ZERO understanding of how the Equality Act works or what any of this means in practice.

I feel so deeply thankful that our justice system remains strong, and a beacon of sense a truth in what feels like times of madness.

I feel like I could facepalm myself into oblivion, watching trans-maidens totally disregard their sisters and pander over men's rights.

What about you?

Actually, I think the reason many of us woke up to this quite early is that experience told us quite quickly that this felt very much like narcissistic abuse. I started posting on Twitter and had my first interaction with a transactivist, which left me reeling.

She was someone I’d vaguely known years earlier and naively thought she’d be reasonable. I went back and analyzed what she’d said, once I’d calmed down a little and the gaslighting was immediately apparent. Every reasonable thing I said was twisted.

Every statement she made implied I was claiming things I hadn’t, then turned it into an attack. I’d seen that pattern before arguing with my ex. Whenever I criticized anything he’d done, however justified my criticism, he would turn it into an attack on me.

It was crystal clear and actually rather fascinating as the threat from a stranger on the internet was way less than having the same kind of discussion in the same room as a man.

It wasn’t long before I received a credible threat though. That was from an actual man, with a fetish for ballet shoes, calling himself Nicola H. He threatened to report me to my professional body.

Ah the bad old days, when Twitter banned women for saying men shouldn’t be in women’s prisons, while ignoring men who threatened us.

Sorry, OP, I know this is a derail too, but it is about feelings I’ve gone through.

I wish, more than anything, that my children had not derailed everything for me and then I could have greeted this court case with the unmitigated joy it ought to have brought.

Currently everything in my life is under a cloud because the price I have now paid is too high. After all these years of fighting safely through all the threats and abuse from transactivists, they have won by taking my family apart. It’s a bitter pill indeed.

we are all supposed to be terrified of the 5ft bearded lady in the loos like they are all now 6ft sex offenders instead of women who have been sold a lie

This observation exposes even further the misogyny of this movement. When we point out the numerous male sex offenders currently identifying as women in British prisons, we get called transphobic. Yet it's somehow not transphobic to tell women that we should fear the female "men". These transactivists will stoop to the misogyny of throwing trans-identified women under the bus, even though those women are on Team Trans.

They know what a woman is, for sure.

WHY is the NHS allowed to say they won't comply with the law

Wait, what?

the changes in law

It's not a change in the law. This is what the law always was. Judges don't make law, they can only interpret it.

It's not a change in the law. This is what the law always was.

👏👏👏

Exactly. In a nutshell. If it had been the other way round the full weight of the law would have descended and everyone arrested for hate crimes regardless.

As for public services thinking compliance with the law is optional - I do not have the words. I rely on people more articulate than me.

I am thinking of doing some cards or a notebook with the main points of the law so I can refer to it if necessary. I get brain freeze when taken by surprise. Also thinking of how I might tackle some situations.

Do you really think that scolding Mumsnetters will have any impact on this Supreme Court judgement? That the judges will browse Mumsnet and issue a statement saying "actually, we read what CosyTaupeShark had to say and we've changed our minds" when they spent months deliberating, looking at primary legislation, Hansard, and case law to come to their decision?

use the bathroom in public spaces

Go to the bathroom? Are TMs planning to take a bath mid-meal? Tell me that you're American and here to lecture women in a completely different jurisdiction, whose laws and law-making structure you don't understand, without telling me that you're American...

No TRA gave a shiny shit about trans men until the SC judgment. Now it's all "6ft TMs gonna invade the women's loos, suck that up TERFs". Testosterone given to an adult doesn't cause height gain, you fools!

it will be difficult for trans men to decide where to go

You go read the start of Normal Life by Dean Spade, literally the first case study she writes about in the introduction is of a trans-identifying female "Jim" who had been sentenced to a men's prison because the judge said "you can't have it both ways". Surprise surprise, "Jim" was being sexually harassed in men's prison whilst being at risk of sexual assault. Spade was trying to get "Jim" moved, at "Jim's" request, to the women's prison for her safety! "Jim" had no difficulty at all deciding that women's spaces were safer for her. It's a flat lie that TMs are at risk of anything more than hurt feelings in women's loos. They risk rape and battery in the gents.

trans men who need to use public bathrooms often if they have any disabilities

A TM with a disability has the right to use the disabled loo. In the UK, which you'd know if you were British, these are single occupant loos behind a full-height door and are for use by both sexes, a deliberate design feature to allow opposite-sex carers to assist the disabled person.

I was also confused about why disabled transmen would have a problem with the loos - having a disability would mean they’d use the disabled loos, obviously.

Yes this pretty much word for word sums up my feelings too.

Well yes, we’re all different people, who sometimes agree and sometimes have differing views. Such is life and feminist talk boards. Hope that helps.

That’s great. We all know why men want to join these groups. It’s an unequivocally good thing that they can now be excluded.

The whataboutery is fascinating. What about the theoretical disabled trans man? What about the trans woman who supposedly passes?
Why do the people coming up with all these examples not ever think 'what about women?'
What about all the women who have lost their safe spaces, refuges, sports, awards?
I don't think I've ever seen a trans activist show any empathy or care for the millions of women across the world who are affected by this. We are completely invisible.
The TRA argument only makes sense if you don't understand or care why women need their own spaces. This is why so many of us call it a men's rights movement.

Elation to start with; couldn't stop grinning.

Angry that it ever had to come to this.

Sad that my DD19 has been sucked in by TWAW and sighs heavily if I ever bring it up. 🙄 (and she moans at me about how crap men her age are, so men, those who identify as men, are shit and rubbish and not men she wants to date, but the men identifying as female are perfectly ok) I have to pick my battles carefully here...

Disappointed but not surprised with a couple of friends and their posts on social...turning a blind eye but their waffling is seriously pissing me off so I've unfollowed them.

Horrified but not surprised at the Trans outpouring of hatred towards women at the protests, the UK Womens March social pages etc, and the fact that those men have not been arrested for some of those placards, pissing in the streets, and the defacement of statues! Utterly disgraceful but why am I not surprised?!

Indeed. To quote a PP: "When you think about the real people behind this ruling, how can you not feel empathy?"

Women have lost a lot over the past few years and this is a huge first step towards reclaiming what we have lost. Thank you SC.

Took the dog out along the beach - near Brighton. This among other graffiti is all over the place. It’s sweary so I put a sensitive image marker on it. This is how it’s going to play out now. They don’t care, they will do whatever they want regardless.

I already clarified this was a typo…?

Delighted! Celebrated on the day. I was totally overwhelmed by how thorough and sensible the judgment was.
I remain very happy, thinking about how much easier this will make life for so many women. I will return to using my gym! It won't all be plain Saling, but quite a lot will be. The judgment is crystal clear and practical.
A handful of wet liberal-lefty women (my people once!) have put pathetic virtue signalling messages on FB and I just eyeroll. I'd unfriend them but probably should keep an eye on what the wider idiotsphere thinks. They didn't get much traction. I've noticed news site coverage of the issue on FB has been vastly onside, in line with polls.
I've had private messages from about 6 friends, who I didn't think were invested in this issue, saying how glad they are. And a relative I thought was woke just poured out her years long battle to extract her DD from a toxic relationship with a Trans ID male (successful thankfully).
The backlash looks unhinged and proves our point.
Starmer and Labour ministers - disappointing - but what's new. They are not above the law thankfully.
We now have a vibrant and wonderful women's movement that will not give up.

That's certainly saying the quiet part out loud.

I reply to messages immediately as I read them. Sometimes the thread has moved on and I don't see it in time.

How depressing to have to see offensive vandalism like this while out on a dog walk by the sea. Par for the course for them I guess, no respect for others' space.

How depressing to have to see offensive vandalism like this while out on a dog walk by the sea. Par for the course for them I guess, no respect for others' space.

And completely gives the lie to their protests that they just want to live their lives in peace.

It's hard for me to reconcile all the different statements I hear since the verdict.

We're told that trans people are the most vulnerable minority. That there's a strong risk of suicide if their transition isn't validated.

But at the same time we are supposed to understand that they aren't mentally ill and that they have capacity to make informed choices regarding their transition.

They can't possibly use their own sex toilets due to the humiliation and distress it causes. But they also can't possibly problem solve the situation and find any other solution that doesn't require using the opposite sex toilets...

Well that should very quickly kill public sympathy and get people wondering why anti social behaviour isn't being dealt with.

They don’t care, they will do whatever they want regardless.

Mmm, I don't know. If the ruling wasn't actually going to change anything materially for them or stop them doing anything, why are they so angry?

Because men get angry when women say no.