Non fatal strangulation and choking during sex

[ArabellaScott]

Grim read.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c62zwy0nex0o

Not sure if everyone is aware of the group https://ifas.org.uk/ set up (I think) to make "professionals" aware of this growing practice.

Some of their work has been taken up by the media but not much https://www.economist.com/britain/2025/01/09/the-phenomenon-of-sexual-strangulation-in-britain

EXCELLENT point!

And did you call them by the derogatory sexist diminutive "love" when they said something you disagreed with, as you did me ("sorry love") in your previous post.

I ask because lesbians tend to be feminist in their worldview, so your use of a sexist term stands out.

Fetishistic paraphilias are overwhelmingly a male thing, so I think the stats on female autoasphyxiation would be de minimis.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10871123/

' this form of accidental death is much less frequently seen in females (male:female ratio >50:1), and there is correspondingly less literature on female victims of autoerotic asphyxiation'

paper from 2000.

I'd be interested to know if the reported female deaths were actual females or transwomen.

Unsurprisingly disproportionate.
whereas the male:female ratio killed by strangulation during heterosexual sex…?

Absolutely agree with this experience, you're not alone in feeling like this sadly

This.

i'm getting a little fucked off with how empowering it is for women to have anal sex, be in porn movies, and on only fans.

Where are these women being powerful?

Also @MissDoubleU , you've gone from yay anal sex, to yay pornography, to yay polygamy.

I might have acquired late onset feminism, but fuck me, this does not seem to be centring women.

The posts of DoubleU have wandered an erratic odyssey this afternoon. They started with yay anal sex, then watered down to not yay anal sex but anal fingering OK, to polyamory, to eulogising an alleged long list of lesbian lovers, via some mild misogynistic microaggression.

I don't think I've ever encountered a polyamorous, BDSM-loving, anal penetration-adoring, feminist lesbian misogynist before. I bet you don't get many of them in the wild.

The number of young women on the relationships forum reporting male partners who don't care about whether the woman has orgasmed - and depressingly, who seem willing to put up with it - tells me that our sex education still hasn't empowered girls.

I don't think I've ever encountered a polyamorous, BDSM-loving, anal penetration-adoring, feminist lesbian misogynist before. I bet you don't get many of them in the wild.

I bet you do and I bet they've got a cock!!

🤣

It’s almost as though this poster isn’t a woman isn’t it? 🤔

Exactly.

I know that anecdote isn't the singular or data, but most of the women I know who have paraphilias (e.g. objectum sexuality, can't orgasm without being tied up, or similar) are autistic. And none of them, not even one, fantasise about or engage in harming other people.

I did wonder. But also, I know women who think the same.

But spend five minutes on FWR - fricken changes everything!

No woman wants to be choked during sex. No matter what anyone will try and say, women don't want it. And that's a hill I will die on.

I believe that some women will say they want it and it's totally consensual but its just done to please men and the ins and outs of it have got lost in the 'normality' of it

Honestly owlchops I'd never say never about any human activity. I can believe that a small number of women like it.

But I'm 55. So like the other older women here, I know that this is new. The only casual hookup who's even mentioned it to me said he was 32 (would be 37 now). I read the Hite Report and all of Nancy Friday, I can't remember a single mention of an asphyxiation or strangling fantasy back then, anyone else remember any? I watched I think all of the first release of omg.yes and didn't see a single woman reporting anal masturbation in any form. Happy to accept I might have missed it because I wouldn't have been looking for it. But I think we're right that this is a product of the internet porn and smartphone era. Of that famously gynophilic and equality-focused culture

Surely anal play between lesbians as MissDoubleU is advocating is a world away from anal sex between a man and a woman and how unsafe and damaging that can be. When I was much younger I was discussing this with my friends and a few of them had stories like those above of being in pain for a week after.

I read a terrifying medical case report a while ago, around the time of that Guardian article that was linked above but I didn't see it linked in there just now (I don't want to Google for this case report). It was about a 26 year old woman who had to undergo anal sphincter repair surgery from sex. They commented in the article that this is used to be something only seen after childbirth (I in fact had to undergo this after childbirth so know how serious it is). As it was medical it had no details about the woman's situation and I did wonder how it happened to this poor woman. It made me so sad and scared, I'm so afraid for my daughter.

Prioritising an orgasm so highly that one will risk death to achieve it is a very male approach to risk.

Anal masturbation is worlds away from anal sex in terms of injury risk. The masturbator is in complete control during masturbation, unlike during sex.

I think that the question women need to ask about oxygen deprivation (not via strangulation), anal, or any other act is "would I do this of my own volition whilst masturbating?" because if the answer is "no", you aren't doing it for you during partner sex.

Polyamory is exploitative of women. Isn't it interesting that empowerment and liberation just make it easier for men to pass women round as though they are things - because that is what polyamory means. We used to call it open marriage - came to exactly the same thing (sometimes with car keys attached).

Dear lord, you poor poor woman.

It isn’t that long ago that everyone knew that men who found strangling women sexually arousing are very very dangerous.

You really should leave.

Ive done a bit of krav maga / self defence and it's scary how quick and easy it is to render someone unconscious by having them in a choke hold. Literally 2-3 seconds of pressure and you would be spark out. No chance to scream or fight or even realise what's happening to you.

(We were told that there's no way to fight back against a choke as you'd be on the way to unconciosness so quickly, so the best defence is to try and prevent someone being able to do it in the first place)