Darling sister and pronouns

[CheeseFromTheNorth]

I know this has cropped up many times, the sense of sadness when a close family member or friend seems to have joined the #bekind brigade.
Had a forwarded email from my sister who lives in another country, from her work address and she used pronouns in her email signature.
I don't understand it. She is all for social justice (Aboriginal rights) across the board and proclaims to be a feminist.
I won't have a conversation about this with her until I see her in person. But when I do my line will be something along the lines of "I used to respect pronouns, as I saw no harm in it. But as I read more and more about male rapists wanting to be referred to as she/her and all institutions complying with it, I realised that something is very wrong.
Who do I decide "deserves" those pronouns? The trans identifying male that's kind but doesn't pass? The male rapist because he speaks of gender dysphoria, but forces his victim to use language such as "her penis" when testifying in court?
So I've drawn and line and will refer to a man who identifies as a woman by their name".

That's all I would say, it does share my opinion and shows the time line of thinking over the years. I have been overweight for many years (not anymore) so I don't think that me raising the sports issue rings true as a reason for me to be of the anti-pronoun brigade (of course no man should be in women's sports but sports is never something I've been interested in, so it rings false for me to be passionate about it), but I HAVE been sexually assaulted many times, so this is my hill.

Keeping discussions like this light and giving food for thought is the way to go imho.

But what has been troubling me is the "why"? Why has she not looked in to this? She too is a SA survivor and it was a particularly horrendous event that has very badly scarred her.

Sorry for the long post.

They are “terrified” because these women/ people who think they can dictate what a “woman” looks like, never apologise and will berate and often physically attack them. That’s why.

No, I’m not. I’m saying that people who have decided that THEY know what a woman should look like, are so narrow minded that it never enters their heads that they could be wrong, and will even resort to violence to prove their point.

No one is dictating what a woman looks like. We know what a woman looks like because oestrogen and progesterone cause unmistakable secondary sexual characteristics.

Every woman who has suggested that I have entered the ladies in error has apologised fulsomely. No woman has ever attacked me because she mistook me for a man.

You are talking utter tripe.

My daughter has a different story, as do several of my friends. And frankly, I don’t believe you, any more than I believe the ridiculous rhetoric and vile attempts to justify the hate shown on this thread.

often physically attack them

"Often"

Sure.

When you say "people", you are talking about men.

It is misogyny to blame women for what men do.

And frankly, I don’t believe you

I guess the feeling is mutual.

So according to you, not using inaccurate pronouns is "hate" and my lived experiences are lies.

Operation Let Them Speak continues its success.

I get angry when I read posts like this, pretending that people are concerned for "women" and "protecting women's rights".

I get angry when other people think they can consent to men entering female spaces for me.

It takes less than a second 99% of the time and I'm right 99% of the time, like most women.

The consequences to women for getting it wrong can be murder, so natural selection has favoured those who get it right.

Indeed.

It's actually more than 99% of the time on both counts, but I cannot reliably give the digits after the decimal point without counting all the people I see on trains and buses and on the streets and in shops, and that's prohibitively labour-intensive.

I can tell that I really notice the cases that I cannot judge immediately. They are like magents for my eyes because of the "uncanny valley" effect.

I can tell that I really notice the cases that I cannot judge immediately. They are like magents for my eyes because of the "uncanny valley" effect.

Mine too.

Was it "ridiculous rhetoric and vile attempts to justify ... hate" that led to you laughing at my post at 00:17? You're all empathy.

Actually I was referring to women, (but didn’t want to exclude anyone else) so there’s that 🙄

How many times have you shared a toilet cubicle or changing cubicle with anyone at all, that you didn’t choose to? 🤔

Obviously more so than most of the people on this thread anyway

It isn't about "fitting OUR criteria". You don't know what we believe at all. You're spouting bullshit. That you've presumably been fed, because god knows, it isn't the truth, and if you 'd actually met any real feminists you'd know that. Are you completely oblivious to the history of the last, I dunno, 60 years or so, with regard to women's rights? Jesus wept.

The ONLY criteria to be a woman (or girl) is to be biologically female. That's it. It's fuck all to do with the backwards pink n blue stereotypes that people like you are so beholden to. We've been fighting those for decades. That YOU failed to notice and are busy pandering to people who actually think you define "female" by some 1950s backwards sexist's version of "femininity", is your fkin problem, frankly.

I am SO tired of inaccurate, bullshit projection like yours. Wouldn't some semblance of integrity be better?

WE are not pretending. You have been brainwashed. Get some critical thinking skills, please. Its embarrassing to watch.

Sure, Jan.

I don't believe you. Or them. Given you don't have a scooby about the actual views of the women you're talking to. Have you always been really easily led?

Frankly, I don’t care whether you believe me or not. It’s true. Women are more likely to be attacked by other women, than they are by trans women. And transwomen are even more likely to be attacked. It’s a simple fact. It’s not “me” who’s been brainwashed.

Women are more likely to be attacked by other women, than they are by trans women.

Citation please. Love to see that peer reviewed study I'm sure that's from.

Frankly, I don’t care whether you believe me or not.

Again, that makes two of us. Stop telling men they are welcome in women's spaces. They aren't.

You are mixing the GC position up with the TRA position. The GC side is the exact opposite of what you are saying here. There is no right or wrong way to be a man or a woman.

However sex is binary and immutable and what determines whether you belong in women's spaces or not.

Her sister isn't using pronouns, her sister is dictating what pronouns other people must use.
She is female, so referring to her using she/her is correct anyway.

The issue is that encouraging or insisting that others use pronouns as if they indicated the gender identity, not the sex, of the person being referred to is repurposing ordinary words with an established meaning and function in service of the misogynistic, homophobic and deeply regressive gender identity ideology. This has to be resisted.

Where did you get this balderdash from?

I hate all the pronoun nonsense and would refuse to do it if I was aksed but all this thread says to me is you are trying to control her thinking and cant handle the fact she doesnt think like you ''why will she not do as I want her to do" that to me makes me think you have more issues than she does