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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

It's an IWD one

65 replies

sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 16:28

So a member of my team is organising an International Women's Day event. It's a public event. It has selected women involved as a panel type thing.I found out today one of the women is a trans woman. I asked do the other women know and it may make them uncomfortable / they may not have wished to participate. I was told "they shouldn't even have those thoughts and I will tell them!"

Speechless. We are policing thoughts now it seems.

We are captured as an organisation though so I can't really do anything. If I say any more than this I will be the one in trouble when actually I am looking at this from a reputation point of view and damage it could do. FFS.

OP posts:
Enough4me · 13/02/2025 16:32

You are right to always put your safety first.
Yes it's 100% wrong, but unless you are in a financially stable position, I'd be careful.
Hopefully Sandie wins the Fife case and it could be used as an example of the general public opinion is that women are biological women (not the pretend ones).

Original poster
sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 16:37

Thank you.

What really P's me off is it will be me who has to clear up the mess if it does go to shit.

OP posts:
Enough4me · 13/02/2025 16:50

Just saw the Fife case is going to drag on for months more (I think the hospital messed up declaring information).
If it goes ahead and you're on clear up at least you can say that it needs to not happen again, and that the general consensus favours women being invited to women's panels.
I think more of the believers won't start to reflect until they understand how many are sick of this nonsense.

IwantToRetire · 13/02/2025 17:14

sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 16:37

Thank you.

What really P's me off is it will be me who has to clear up the mess if it does go to shit.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this.

I dont know the full set up, but if as you say you will be left to clear up the mess, is it worth you putting into writing your concerns, stressing the reputational issue? And also the point about were the other speaker consulted?

But on the other hand, if you like (need) your job cant you just opt out. It is just a one off event.

Then you can pick a time when you think it is worth having a confrontation.

Original poster
sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 17:18

I am opting out going forward.

I have something else in writing that does cover me if it goes to shit but I'm starting to think could I be in trouble for even raising it?

It's all so batshit these days. I raised it because of other issues eg gender pay gap etc coming up and the fact we have self identified feminists alongside a trans and I gently pointed out they don't always get on but then the thought police told me they couldn't have those thoughts.

OP posts:
IwantToRetire · 13/02/2025 17:48

sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 17:18

I am opting out going forward.

I have something else in writing that does cover me if it goes to shit but I'm starting to think could I be in trouble for even raising it?

It's all so batshit these days. I raised it because of other issues eg gender pay gap etc coming up and the fact we have self identified feminists alongside a trans and I gently pointed out they don't always get on but then the thought police told me they couldn't have those thoughts.

Is you area of work covered by any of the recent SEEN networks that have been set up.

And aren't they aware that following the Forstater case employers have to give equal acceptance of GC employees as trans employees?

AlisonDonut · 13/02/2025 17:53

You are their manager. I'd take them off this arrangement and give them a special hard work project to be getting on with.

And I'd be speaking to my manager about getting rid of affinity groups and these sorts of things and get people getting on with their jobs in future.

Original poster
sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 18:30

@IwantToRetire no idea and if they were they would ignore.

Not public sector ironically far from it - and an old fashioned industry that has latched on to this to be progressive. Totally captured.

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 13/02/2025 19:06

When you say a member of your team, do you mean a peer or someone who reports to you?

I'd probably frame it in terms of reputational damage. Point out that organisations who have very publicly platformed trans women on the one day of the year dedicated to women (compared to Pride month and all the other random days and months of the year for trans awareness) have had their arses handed to them on a platter.

myplace · 13/02/2025 19:08

What about inviting the trans speaker on a different diversity day, and saving Women’s Day for less controversial choices?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 13/02/2025 19:19

myplace · 13/02/2025 19:08

What about inviting the trans speaker on a different diversity day, and saving Women’s Day for less controversial choices?

This is a good idea.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 13/02/2025 19:21

I would be really tempted to say that talking about what thoughts women are or aren't allowed to have about what a woman is, isn't really in the spirit of international women's day.

It's international women's day, not international women with the correct political opinions day.

Original poster
sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 19:43

The person has complained about me for asking the question do the groups know about each other.

OP posts:
myplace · 13/02/2025 19:45

Is the organiser male or female?
Can future years involve suggestions are made and the candidates shortlisted in discussion?

Original poster
sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 19:46

Male

OP posts:
myplace · 13/02/2025 19:54

I think I’d be wondering out loud whether it would be great for women to lead on organising the IWD events.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 13/02/2025 20:57

sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 19:46

Male

Why the fuck is he organising anything for IWD then???

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 13/02/2025 20:59

Honestly, I think that if you are his manager you should take him off this project, and if you're not his manager you should ask why a man is choosing speakers for an international women's day event and opining on what women are or are not allowed to think.

Original poster
sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 21:01

Please see below. They have now complained for me asking them the questions I asked.
What to do???

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 13/02/2025 21:09

sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 21:01

Please see below. They have now complained for me asking them the questions I asked.
What to do???

Complain about him back?

Say you don't understand why a man is organising this event, particularly one who clearly has so little respect for women and who isn't at all clued in on how many of them feel.

Original poster
sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 21:11

@MissScarletInTheBallroom my organisation is so captured I don't think this would work unfortunately.
I literally can't believe this has happened when all I did was raise some considerations.

OP posts:
grannysbay · 13/02/2025 21:22

I would be washing my hands of the whole thing, Cover your back with as many emails as possible. And hope for some interesting questions from the floor on the day.

myplace · 13/02/2025 21:26

I have no expertise in the area, but repost as an employment problem here in feminism and someone will.

I would think playing dumb would be the way to do.
‘I asked whether we know the panelists are all happy to share a platform. I’ve read some awful stories in the papers where feminists and transwomen were all very angry.’

It would be awful if there was a nasty atmosphere on women’s day. Would it be more courteous and safer to have a fantastic diversity pride event and invite inspirational lgbtq people and make sure it’s a fabulously upbeat event? We could make IWD a more technical occasion about [random women’s issue here], perhaps recognising what a balanced workplace we have and how lucky we are to begin a company with good equality mechanisms….

SernieBanders · 13/02/2025 21:31

Record everything so you have receipts and emails

be clear clam and considerate and point out that according to the latest polls, most people do t believe in any of this and it’s protected

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 13/02/2025 21:44

sankacoolrunnings · 13/02/2025 21:11

@MissScarletInTheBallroom my organisation is so captured I don't think this would work unfortunately.
I literally can't believe this has happened when all I did was raise some considerations.

They sound very behind the times. Gender critical beliefs are protected under the Equality Act.

I would say you are entirely confused about the basis for this man's complaint.

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