I don't understand what you mean when you say you don't judge arguments by the extremes. Women not being allowed to take their clothes off without the possibility of a man being present is bloody extreme. Sending male criminals into women's prisons is extreme.
Men saying some words out loud and being able to compete as women in sport is bonkers - and extreme.
You could go further. La Leche League claiming that breastfeeding support groups have to include men who want to take drugs in order to breastfeed.
If you can't see that these things are extreme, try and take your eyes off the men involved. Try and focus on the women, instead. A distraught new mother who wants feeding advice because her baby won't latch on is being told by the most famous, international breastfeeding organisation in the world that she will only be accepted if she realisesshe might have to do it in the presence of a lactation fetishist.
This is a parenting website. Many of the women here have been petrified for their children, coming home from school and declaring that if they want to when they get a bit older they can take tablets to be the opposite sex. That they have to call the new male teacher miss or they will be sanctioned.
Dozens of women here have children who think they're the opposite sex, because they've been taught it in school.
This isn't two sides of an argument. This is the wholesale removal of women's and children's rights. It doesn't get more extreme.
And still keeping your eye on the women, rather than the men, let's get back to toilets.
You have to remember that it's not the toilets that are important. They are just four walls and a ceiling. It's the women and girls in the toilets. They are the resource. It is they who are being used. As a tool to validate men's self image.
If all the women got up and left the space, the space would no longer be appealing. The next space where the women congregated would suddenly become the focus.
It is their presence that is crucial.
Why should women, any individual woman, any girl, or women as a class, be disadvantaged, sometimes in the most extreme way possible, in order to validate the self image of men, sometimes just one individual man.
It's like some people don't see women as really human. They are just a support class, in the service of men.
We're not.
Not wanting to share changing rooms, or female only spaces with a man should be enough.
'No' isn't just not enough, it's considered utterly wrong.
Seriously, sadmillenial, try and focus on the women just for a minute and you will instantly stop seeing this as a both sides argument.
If you still can't see it, just ask yourself one question
What are women getting out of this?