Could we ban "transvestigating" threads on here?

[Christinapple]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5225715-ilona-maher

This one for example. Transvestigating is an informal term given to when people play detective and try to determine if a given person (usually a woman) is transgender or not from how they look e.g. photos.

I've seen it more than a few times on Twitter anytime a woman who is tall or muscular or "masculine looking" appears. Quite often, women are wrongly mistaken for being trans.

As well as being transphobic, IMO this harms all women and reinforces stereotypes of what men/women should look like. And the idea of obsessing over people's appearances like this just doesn't sit well with me.

Oh I'd love a dog but life circumstances don't permit it at the moment. I'm envious of all of you that have one!

I think I recognise that dog Arabella.

Driving down a dark country lane one winter's night, having been to a dinner out of town, I missed the sign for the motorway. So I was driving a bit slowly looking for another signpost.

Blue lights behind me and I stopped. A cop car and a dog van pulled up. The dogs were going ballistic and I was really scared.

I'm short, and had a near shaved head at the time. The cops started to laugh. They thought I was a young lad from the back who had nicked a car registerd to a woman's name in a city a long way away.

But it was apparent as soon as they saw me get out of the car that I wasn't male. Wuff Wuff.

Totally. And that one is an absolute art form

Do you remember the days when Alsatians were thought of as the ultimate in big, scary dogs? Seems hilarious now that we have rottweilers and Dobermans and Pitbulls and all the weird unregulated illegal breeds...

Bit random of me, I know! But I've just listened to a 1960s detective serial on BBC Sounds in which Alsatians featured as terrifying killer dogs, and I just snorted with laughter.

My 120-pound very good boi sends you lots of love your way.

I'd post a photo of him but I might break the Internet if I did.

The concept of hate crimes is pretty meaningless at this point.

We have people arguing that misgendering is a hate crime because misgendering can constitute harassment which is a crime and so harassment of a trans person is a hate crime.

And yet the actual murder of a woman is not considered a hate crime because crimes against women are not considered important enough to be labelled hate crimes.

You could get more time in prison for murdering a trans person with a transphobic motive than for murdering a woman with a misogynistic motive. That's how important women's lives are.

Of course, that's entirely hypothetical since only one trans person has been murdered in the UK in the last five years (compared to 2-3 women a week) and the police found that transphobia did not appear to be the killers' motive.

Back in your box.

I thought the same. I do find the words used interesting from a female perspective.

In another thread (by this or another? poster), there was the suggestion that a significant gap in age or similar between partners is "fucking terrifying". I couldn't help comparing that to the 98% increased risk of rape by those more than twice as strong as them that women face.

And in this thread, I similarly can't help but read these references to extreme fear and think of the utter soup of reports of rape and murder, the ubiquitous porn, the torture-filled film and TV, and the daily street aggression in which women swim - and all in the knowledge that we've not a hope in hell of resisting an attacker. I do sometimes think it's something of a miracle that we get up and go about our lives as we do. Maybe if we didn't (Icelandic-style strike, anyone?), men may begin to take it more seriously.

But I'm trying to give a bit of the benefit, even where it's hard, to try to highlight that empathy is still possible even when experiences are disparate and opinions utterly polarised, just in the hope that some parallel understanding may take shape in return.

I probably won't revisit the thread now, though - it's been another upsetting one all in all.

(Afterthought. Something else that doesn't seem to occur to some posters is that - with reference to an excellent post above arguing that women are prey, of a sort, in public spaces - I suspect men don't have the same experience of triple-thinking every post to anticipate the possible responses of a range of readers from the truly vulnerable and confused, right through to the cynically abusive. It affects how we move, speak - and word our very thoughts. It's exhausting).

So I'm off now, too.

Thank you ❤

I disagree. It's my opinion that it's entirely deliberate.

Yes, it's quite common to see it, IMO.

I think that, from men's perspective, women are the inconvenient people, and their idea of coming to terms with our existence is to silence us.

My fruitloop hound sends her woofiest, Greysky.

‘Terrified’

Adorable! ❤

Butterfly's only fear is that the good times are coming to an end.

💯

Like clockwork, it's time to claim the kids who murdered a trans girl in cold blood while sneering about wanting to see her genitalia and what she sounded like as she died weren't motivated by transphobia. Classy.

The police investigated the murder and concluded that transphobia wasn't the motive. Based on the fact, I believe, that the killers had lined up five potential victims and Brianna wasn't even their first choice. They chose their victims because they were lonely and vulnerable.

I do! I think it was a bit of anti-german propaganda, and which got them renamed as you say.

They are a bit strict about familial disputes, you can't even mildly disagree with a relative in their presence. Which might not be a bad thing.

But absolutely nothing to do with an American Bully. They climb up into the bed of who they perceive to be the weakest human in the household, put themselves between them and the door, and bark up a storm if you enter unbidden!

But that's about it.

Do expect to be head-butted in the jaw if you hold them too tight though

Hijacking Brianna 's tragic murder to prop up false claims by someone claiming to be a TW is as low as hijacking the experience of one of Worboys victims.

They are a bit strict about familial disputes, you can't even mildly disagree with a relative in their presence. Which might not be a bad thing.

interesting. How do they decide who to defend? Or is it just that they get distressed?

Please tell me how you upload a pic / gif!

I need to advance my argument about doggos, and I'm afraid I can't make my point without pictures.

The boy used transphobic rhetoric as a tool to psych himself up enough to kill Brianna. But you are correct that Brianna wasn't chosen to die because of being trans and it's dishonest to claim that the nation has a transphobia problem based on two teen murderers whose shortlist also had four victims who were not trans on it. Brianna's self-identification was a convenient attribute for the boy to use to dehumanise his already-selected intended victim. If Brianna hadn't been trans, the boy would have used glasses-wearing or any of the other things that spiteful people use to dehumanise their victims.

My experience is that they don't know who to defend, so try to get between the parties and bark to act as a canine barrier against the possibility of fisticuffs. They are basically doing the dog equivalent of "break it up or take it outside".

😂
Or, "Lads, lads. Calm down. We've all had a drink."

And 😆😆 for your username, @selffellatingouroborosofhate !

It was stolen from someone's description of the word-salad-uttering perpetually-aggrieved pomo-addled types found in amongst other places, a certain linguistics department.