I was on a UK holiday about three or four years ago. I got talking to some other women there. We were very different; they probably saw me as a liberal leftie. I was in my doc martens and jeans, and they were wearing flowery dresses and heels with handbags for their Saturday night out. But we were hanging out together in the local pub, which had an act booked. The act was a singer; a man with a full beard, wearing a short skirt and heels. He was billed as a trans act. Lots of holidaymakers in the pub were being supportive and friendly to the act, possibly because they were being kind and because it was something a bit different.
I felt uncomfortable with the love being shown. But I didn’t want to say anything because I thought I’d sound a bit FWR and I didn’t want to make myself even more different to the women I was at the table with. I didn’t feel like coming out as a TERF when we were just out for a few drinks.
The act had brought his following with him. There were about 15 men. They weren’t dressed up in an obviously drag way. They were wearing (for example) boot cut jeans, a long sleeved T-shirt with a scalloped edge, and heeled ankle boots. There was a bit of a “Per Una” look among them. One of them had a look of Mick Jagger. But they were mostly tall; six footers. Not a lot of make-up; maybe some subtle mascara and a touch of lip gloss. But all protein; slim with muscles; all Adam’s apples and protruding jaws.
I made some sort of tentative bland observation about this group of men. One of the women in my group said “And which fucking toilet are they planning on using then? Cos if I find one of them in the Ladies I’ll wrap the fucking sink round his fucking head!”. She meant it. I was impressed and had every faith she’d follow through with this, if necessary. Relieved, I made a comment about her feeling this way. She said “Of course I fucking do! Who wouldn’t?”
This woman was big and strong and tattooed. I imagined she’d come off best in any fights she’d already had. I don’t believe she’d know what a TERF is, or even heard the word before.
But she knew they were taking the piss. I was feeling a little bit different before she said that; a little alienated (not unusual). But that shot of mutual recognition blots out every other difference among women. It was a good moment; nothing major, but I’ve never forgotten it.
There are loads of women who don’t know what a TERF is but know what bullshit and violence, is.
I wonder if they don’t think they need a “movement” to join because, if a man in a dress went into the ladies in their local, they’d just rip his balls off and punch him onto the street. And he wouldn’t go back.