How best to answer 'What are your preferred pronouns?' in an intervew

[NancyDrawed]

I have been out of the workforce for a very long time but finally have an in-person interview later this week.

The confirmation email is signed by a name followed by (he/him/his). I need to get a job. But I am trying to get my head around what I would say if I was directly asked what my preferred pronouns are.

On principle I would like to say 'I'm not a follower of that ideology so use whichever you see fit' or something along those lines, but is that likely to mean I have no chance of getting the job?

I am clearly female, so a small part of me would want to say he/him/his just to see the reaction!

It might not even come up at all, but I'd like to be prepared.

The sort of manager who needs to know "my" pronouns!!

Definitely. And 98% of them are male.

Sorry - having a bad day ☹️

I hope you're right. Some interviews are completely "old school" and don't talk about such things; sometimes you get "modern" interviewers who think they NEED to push all the woke buttons.

So they use pronouns doesn't mean it will be an interview question

As someone with a female body I find that breathtakingly offensive. It matters a LOT to me that the language of womanhood is not made into something sexist and/or meaningless by including males.

If you think the men it "might matter to" are more important than women like me to whom it also matters but in the exact opposite way that is of course your right, but pleas understand and own that you are doing is not a nice, no cost gesture, but endorsing a sexist position to the detriment of female rights and visbility.

Perfectly put @FlirtsWithRhinos

My work had a phase of offering an email template with space for pronouns, and some people thought it was the done thing so added them.
The person emailing you may well not feel strongly about them, may have added them at some point and forgotten they're there. They're not necessarily a zealot. I'd be surprised if you're asked at interview, but if it happened I think I'd just say "I don't mind" then I'd check their policies before accepting a job,

Yes, just because they have used them doesn't mean they'll automatically make you do it as well.

I'd be surprised if you're asked at interview, but if it happened I think I'd just say "I don't mind

See, when you say "you don't mind" - would you really not?
I mean, I'm female but I wouldn't want to be repeatedly referred to as he by other people.
It might not bother you, but it would me and presumably lots of others too in RL.

Thank you, I think that's a really good analogy - I may steal it if you don't mind! :) xx

Realistically I'd probably go with "Female pronouns are fine thanks" as suggested above, if I was keen on the job.

Yes, I really wouldn't mind.

It would be an interesting experiment, wouldn't it? I wouldn't mind but I can't see it being easy for them to keep up, I'm obviously very much a woman.

As I said above/below, I'm having a bad day. I hope I can use it to say I'm f - sorry I'm really annoyed about men "seeming" (I'll be generous) to take over what shred of femininity we've got left.
In a film (I think it was called "Junior"?), when Emma Thompson hears that men can get pregnant, you expect her to say "Good - they can see what it's like", but instead she says"OMG Is there anything they won't take from us?".
And that's how I feel. Aren't they happy with their p? I'm "happy" with my v. And I'm happy being called she, her, a woman, even a girl. I want to retain those things. I want to retain my femininity.

SORRY to anyone I've offended. But ☹️

This is probably the smartest response. If you need the job, you risk not getting it if you use a direct approach that shows your disproval. If the interviewer seems to be asking so as not to offend you, but otherwise doesn't act cult like, then ask for a higher pay cause their desperation not to offend you may mean they are desperate to hire!!

Preparing for an interview involves thinking through possible answers to possible questions.

It's not an uncommon question in life these days (see posters experiences above) so it makes sense to have an answer ready.

Not sure why this is such a difficult concept to grasp?

If your response to this is'just say she/ her' then please RTFT.

"What's your name?"
"People always refer to me as Brian"

That works.

Say very slowly with a long gap in between both words: Nick / Her

Ask them to repeat it. Look horrified at them.

Well, not really. They're unlikely to start referring to you in the third person during a job interview.

Anyway, how about "I identify as gender fluid, hactually, so feel free to use whatever pronouns seem to fit with however you deem I'm presenting myself on any given day ".

I can't see what could possibly go wrong.

i literally don't care. I have always worked in a male environment, and i been "misgendered" many many times. I don't care. And it amuses me when someone has been making assumptions and does a double take when they see me.

I wouldn't say I don't mind in an interview but gender ideology is much more of an issue for me than someone getting my pronoun wrong. It's never happened, to my knowledge anyway

"What's your name?"
"People always refer to me as Brian"

That works.

Someone obviously doesn't understand the difference between given names and pronouns.

This - very much this.

See, I would really love to have the courage to say 'thee/thou' if forced to 'declare my preferred pronouns'. As well as being second person pronouns (which are more relevant to the likely conversation when speaking TO rather than about each other), I think their linguistic origins (like the French 'tu' instead of 'vous') and their history (think of the seventeenth century Quakers who refused to use 'you' when addressing the nobility as they thought it reinforced social class divisions and preferred the more egalitarian 'thou' irrespective of rank) create a sense of humility and egalitarianism that is somewhat lacking in the current pronoun world.

Ha, yes!