How best to answer 'What are your preferred pronouns?' in an intervew

[NancyDrawed]

I have been out of the workforce for a very long time but finally have an in-person interview later this week.

The confirmation email is signed by a name followed by (he/him/his). I need to get a job. But I am trying to get my head around what I would say if I was directly asked what my preferred pronouns are.

On principle I would like to say 'I'm not a follower of that ideology so use whichever you see fit' or something along those lines, but is that likely to mean I have no chance of getting the job?

I am clearly female, so a small part of me would want to say he/him/his just to see the reaction!

It might not even come up at all, but I'd like to be prepared.

It might bode ill for working in the place, though.

Because there’s absolutely no need to play into this sort of crap if you don’t believe in it.

By stating she/her that’s like a tacit acceptance or adherence to it.

It is being funded by incredibly wealthy and greedy powerful corporations and it’s bad enough that workplaces are institutionally captured.

And as a PP said, do you really want to play along with this when a man who lied to get a position at a rape crisis centre insisted everyone use she/her pronouns for him?

Would it be wrong to respond to the question "What are your pronouns?' with 'Is this a trick question?"

Be tempting to ask "Are you asking this because you're made to, or because you believe this misogynist rubbish? And what else is imposed on women here? Sharing toilets with transvestites?"

I actually like this answer 😂

I think this is an appropriate response.
My pronouns are:

FUCK/RIGHT/OFF

Yeah, that's a great response for a job interview.
They're bound to get the job with that comment.
Shows the interviewer what a catch they've got 👍
🙄😂

Nah, shows the interviewer you aren't putting up with this bullshit and frankly no job is worth it. It's only going to get worse from there if they're demanding to know your subservience to the cult at interview stage.

You need this job. The interview is NOT the time to give them any excuse to exclude you.

Just reply "she/her" and once you have the job you can stand up for women's rights.

Tbh I think it might be the best response. The interviewer can thank their stars they’ve had a lucky escape.

Honestly I think I'd probably laugh nervously, stall, and then say something like "well, I'm a woman, so...."

Not ideal, I know.

"I'm a woman"

A lucky escape from someone who understands how language works (or did until last week)?

I don't really understand your comment. Why is that lucky escape? What are they in danger from?

@AstonScrapingsNameChange this whole thread is about the OP taking offence at a question that hasn’t actually been asked at an interview. I get the distinct feeling that she would be hard work as an employee.

I haven't seen evidence of taking offence.

Have you read the thread?

It's not about 'offence', its about what options may be available if you are being forced to signal compliance to a belief system that you don't share (and which you are not legally compelled to share).

Do you believe that expecting to be treated reasonably, legally and fairly by your employer makes a person 'hard work' ?

You prepare for an interview by anticipating what questions you might be asked. While some people don't mind being asked their pronouns others do mind a lot. This thread is to discuss how to respond.

I would say "I don't mind at all, I don't have a gender identity, use any pronouns you like"

They would default to using she/her because you are obviously female but you have not participated in the ideology

@AstonScrapingsNameChange Newsflash: being asked your pronouns at work isn’t unlawful (or unreasonable).

I have RTFT. And what I’m seeing is offence that the interview question (that let’s remember hasn’t actually been asked) could be asked and advice on how to answer in a way that makes it clear the OP is GC (presumably in the hope of setting up the sequel: I answered as we discussed, I didn’t get the job, now ‘gardening’ for an ET claim….)

I have never put any thought into what pronouns I want to dictate that others use for me. I have never wondered if I am a they, a zir, a fae or a clownself. So I think that I would answer something along the lines of -

'No, sorry, I haven't thought about it.'

I don't think there's any reason to think that. She probably won't be asked the question, but it makes sense to consider how she could respond if she was.

On another note my daughter has just started uni and one of the forms she had to fill in asked for not only gender identity (which they all do) but preferred pronouns. I've never seen it on a form before!

I feel you are misinterpreting the OP's post.

If you interpret a discussion as 'offence' I think you're the 'difficult' one.

Being asked pronouns may not be unlawful but it is unreasonable. It's like asking an interviewee whether they prefer beef or ham, without considering (or even worse, intentionally negating) that an interviewee may be vegetarian or Hindu or Jewish, or feel it's more important that it's ethically farmed, or just not really want to be labeled as "a beef sort of person".

Perhaps thinking about an equivalent scenario that aligns more with your own prejudices will help you understand.

You think it is important that pronouns should never be assumed and that people are given the opportunity to state a preference. You do want/need this job, but you do not want to betray your own principles. Having seen from the interview materials there is a good chance this employer does not prioritise genderist beliefs (perhaps they have correctly listed sex as a protected characteristic in the interview guidance) you are wondering whether you should offer your pronouns unasked or if this will count against you. You ask advice from others.

Would that be you taking "offense" at a situation that has not yet arisen and indeed may not arise? Would you be wrong to want to find a way to be true to your principles rather than play along with a belief you believe to be harmful? Would it be reasonable to suggest you must be going this to set yourself up for a future crowdfunder?

At best asking for preferred pronouns is uninformed and tone-deaf because it assumes others share that belief system, especially so given genderism is rooted in old fashioned sexism and imposes dated stereotypes onto others. At worst it is a deliberate purity test intended to unlawfully discriminate against those who do not share a certain belief system.

Goes against the Yogyakarta principles though, doesn't it?

6 The Right to Privacy
F Ensure the right of all persons ordinarily to choose when, to whom and how to disclose information pertaining to their sexual orientation or gender identity, and protect all persons from arbitrary or unwanted disclosure, or threat of disclosure of such information by others.

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