How best to answer 'What are your preferred pronouns?' in an intervew

[NancyDrawed]

I have been out of the workforce for a very long time but finally have an in-person interview later this week.

The confirmation email is signed by a name followed by (he/him/his). I need to get a job. But I am trying to get my head around what I would say if I was directly asked what my preferred pronouns are.

On principle I would like to say 'I'm not a follower of that ideology so use whichever you see fit' or something along those lines, but is that likely to mean I have no chance of getting the job?

I am clearly female, so a small part of me would want to say he/him/his just to see the reaction!

It might not even come up at all, but I'd like to be prepared.

"The obvious ones".

Absolutely not! I have never been asked how I would like to be addressed in all the interviews I have attended. Every single time, my first name has been used. The only pronoun that need to be used during an interview is ‘you’.
So Jane, what made you think about applying for this job?
Have you ever been in a situation where…
What would you do if…

Get ChatGPT to create a few pages of gibberish, and hand them over saying - "pleased you asked, Here you go. Make sure everybody in the company is aware thank you kindly."

Just dare them to say you're taking the piss. Just dare them ...

Depends on the job. As I mentioned up thread, ds was asked at an interview. First question was "would you like to share your preferred pronouns". Luckily I had warned him it was a likely question as he had no idea what any of this was about at the time.

By the same token, if it’s standard, isn’t it weird to ask.

I'm actually a big supporter of people not biting their tongue in these situations and getting arsey with the interviewer.

The name thing is interesting isn't it.

People say "oh it's just like your name" but it isn't really, is it? Most people don't chose their name. At most they might chose the variation.

It's more like saying "what name do you think best describes you?".

And someone replying "Oh I think I'm a Mary, I'm definitely a Mary sort of a person".

And then getting all annoyed that the other person in the office called Mary doesn't particularly appreciate being lumped in as "a Mary sort of a person" at all.

And then insisting that you get to use the other Mary's mug because it says Mary on it.

They are claiming it as they are not non-binary as a matter of fact.
Non-binary is a made up idea about how people might 'feel' male or female, or neither, or both at the same time. It's not even scientific theory, let alone scientific fact.

So, factually, you simply can't feel neither male or female, or both at the same time unless (I believe) you are seriously allowing mysogynistic stereotyping to dictate your material and behavioural preferences as being either 'male' or 'female'.

If you're anything like me (a middle aged woman) you'll find that no one will have any issues assuming your pronouns, even the exotic pronoun-havers know just by looking at me I'm a she/her. Not sure how but it's like clockwork.

They are claiming it as they are not non-binary as a matter of fact.
Non-binary is a made up idea about how people might 'feel' male or female, or neither, or both at the same time. It's not even scientific theory, let alone scientific fact.

Exactly. "Non binary" is a nonsense. Every single person who has ever walked the earth is "non binary" because no one embodies all the stereotypes about their sex and none of the ones of the opposite sex. Women saying no to men is "non binary".

Honestly I'm far more ok with someone saying "I don't want to be referred to by my sex" than I am someone saying "I want to be accepted as the opposite sex".

If non-binary didn;t come with a side helping of gender identity ideology and a garnish of female erasure I'd go there myself. But as it is, it's a prop of a sexist belief system and it contributes to the cultural lack of visibility of female people, so no thank you.

I think I would do as others have and say I'm female

It doesn't really play along but also doesn't kick you into a corner where it becomes a thing

I mean it hasn't happened so it's hard to know, and I do not accept gender ideology but yeh I'd probably go with I'm female

another suggestion..."will it make any difference to my pay?"

This would be perfect

😄

I think I might look awkwardly down at my feet and say 'I'm not in a place where I'm ready to answer that question definitively yet" - but only if I really didn't want the job!

'My name is X im happy to be called that'

Depends on the industry. I would never ask someone else as I think it's rude, but in industries with lots of people who identify in non-standard ways its not outside the norm to state your pronouns when introducing yourself.

If someone does ask me, I say She and Her. I don't have trouble identifying women, so I don't have trouble with using female pronouns for myself.

… is your opinion- as you indicate by using the phrase ‘I believe’. So the word ‘factually’ is a little redundant there!

I don't believe in astrology, but I know what my star sign is. When someone asks me, I tell them what it is.

😂😂 that’s good

That's really funny! Thank you, I enjoyed that analogy.

"It varies - which way is the wind blowing today" and smile sweetly

Ironically, I find having "he/him" or "she/her" quite useful when I receive an e-mail from someone who has an unusual name, or a both-sexes name, or a foreign name, particularly Turkish where there seems to be no cue from the spelling (to an English speaker) as to whether it's male or female.

Maybe I shouldn't care what sex someone is, but I'm curious by nature, and people don't seem to put "(Mrs)" or "(Ms)" after their name much any more. I don't think men ever put "(Mr")", because by default someone sending you a business communication was a man.

(Of course I could probably just paste their name into LinkedIn!)

If you still want the job after they’ve asked for your pronouns, answer “they/them”.

They’re obviously woke virtue signalers, so being they/them will increase your chances of getting the job enormously.

You can then practice being “that” employee. The one they all dance around and treat with kid gloves, lest they offend you.