Not sure if I have said something wrong or not

[Motnight]

It was a team away day in person last week. We all had to stand up and introduce ourselves. I was about the 10th person to. The person before me stated their preferred pronouns.

I deliberately didn't state my pronouns. My director then interjected and said "you've forgotten your pronouns". I replied that whilst I totally respected other people's preferences regarding pronouns I felt no need to state mine. I then passed the microphone onto the next person. She stated her pronouns, but about half of the rest of the delegates didn't.

I came into work yesterday and my director (a man) came up to me said hi and then said that I was obviously a strong character who didn't mind making her thoughts known. I just smiled and nodded and he wandered off. A fellow female colleague and I today have been chatting about the away day and she mentioned that she was really uncomfortable with the overt trans phobia during the day. I didn't respond to that (I didn't witness any trans phobia at all) but am wondering if the comment was aimed at me, or if I am being too sensitive.

I have obviously got people's attention by what I said. I don't regret it, but I do wonder if I am going to be given some sort of label.

I was just thinking that - how would it be received if you said "I'm female, so the pronouns that refer to me are female ones"?

Or "I'm a woman, so refer to me in whatever way seems most appropriate to you" 😄

I wonder if there’s any data investigating possible correlation between the prevalence of pronoun-stating and discrimination based on sex - or other protected characteristics. After all, other pc’s don’t seem to attract much consideration once an organisation is stonewalled….

"My pronouns are sex based - like my oppression" is something I've heard.

@Allthegoodnamesarechosen @Signalbox yes I totally agree - I was more thinking in the case of trying to get out of a situation where someone was being actually threatening or particularly unpleasant.
Normally I wouldn't want to confuse my stance but I am aware that it can be different in places where you work with the same people day after day.

@BreatheAndFocus I think that's a much better idea to say that some trans or questioning people might find it uncomfortable.

I'll definitely take all your comments on board.

Although this is a good point, I don't want to argue back about how other people might feel.

The whole point is that we cannot simultaneously say people have a right to self identity and ask other people to use certain pronouns if other people cannot be afforded the same considerations.

I've spent fifty years on this planet..for at least 45 of them, I was referred to a she and her because that is obviously my sex. I truly will not change to start stating what has been the obvious almost all my life.

I can accept that my young students have grown up differently and they come at this differently, and I will call them by their chosen pronouns and try and be supportive (while being concerned about their mental health usually because I've never had a trans student who is just fine tbh).

I just won't change who I am and how I want to be referred to. It's the same courtesy.

This link should work: Dont Get Caught Out final (002).pdf