The Bluestocking is reopening

[ErrolTheDragon]

It's time we reopened the Bluestocking, I think.

This is the FWR pub, situated in the charming village of Badley Fuckitt near the Shady Pines rest home. It has a cannon (for reasons lost in the mists of time), goats in the paddock next to the beer garden and a menu including many soups and cakes. It's open all hours, serving breakfast and tea to all weary women, in addition to being the ideal location to metaphorically drown your sorrows.

Naice coffee ...

deep breaths...

I like an ellipsis too much for some tastes. As for commas, I was told a very long time ago that you should imagine them as opportunities to take a breath, so I use them as if I were saying the sentence.
If crossword clues were punctuated they'd be easier to solve, but I think that's supposed to be part of the challenge.

Instead of the dreadful ranks of upholstered lavatories offered by AI, how about this from the Patricia Wentworth book I'm reading:

(setting, a department store in a provincial town, summer of (probably) 1939

Lisle went up to the ladies' rest room. Astley's did their customers very well. They catered for women who came in from the country round and made a day of it, shopping in the morning and paying visits in the afternoon. You could have your hair shampooed and waved. you could take a facial treatment, you could rest in a comfortable armchair and look through the latest magazines, you could ring up your friends from a telephone box which ensured privacy.

The book wasn't published until 1942, and probably even by then it was becoming clear that places like Astley's were doomed to change, though I remember not dissimilar set-ups in the 1960s and 1970s. The loos would be in a room opening off the sitting room area, as would the hair-and-face place.

But I see no reason for the Bluestocking not to have some such - the magazine selection can be extended to include journals and even books.

We won't need the phone facilities since we have our own if we need to phone and cancel our appointment with the private detective that we made because we feared our husband was going to kill us. (You may be reassured to know that Miss Silver wasn't put off that easily and within six pages is down from London and at the inquest of the woman who fell - or did she? - off the cliff while wearing Lisle's coat the previous day.)

@MarieDeGournay

Can we have the complete Oxford English Dictionary, all 20 volumes, and a magnifying glass please

There you go the compact all in one volume version. Comes with it's own magnifying glass. Weights a bloody tonne mind!

We will need a wheeled lectern, of a height suitable for use while sitting in an armchair.

There is of course already an MN Pedants' Corner - but I'm sure the Bluestocking can accommodate its own too.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pedants_corner

You'll need something. I had to reinforce the shelf on the bookcase it sits on!

I thought I'd stop by to see how it's going in the knitting and crocheting corner, not to join just to marvel at those than can do these amazing feats. But alas I've got all turned around and can't find them.

This place really needs some you are here maps

One of the things I truly love about the Internet is not having to refer to a physical dictionary. The ability to highlight a word and quickly look up its definition, or with a few more clicks find its etymology, more info via wiki etc, images if it's the name of a plant or animal etc is something we take for granted now but it really is quite transformative.

That reminds me, I think @NoBinturongsHereMate may need a namechange, I'm sure I saw one slung in a tree in the orchard.

@Boiledbeetle I thought some gerbils had been employed as guides.

I am looking forward to discussions about the Oxford comma. Vital, if you ask me, for clarity in sentences such as:
'During his travels he met Nelson Mandela, a 3,000 year old demi-god and a dildo collector'
and,
'I would like to thank my parents, Ayn Rand and God.'

Can you bring knitting with you? Mine is causing me stress at the moment.

Which in theory sounds great! But you've seen what they do with words on t shirts! Turns out not only can they not spell, most can't actually read either.

It does make a trip to the pet corner interesting though when you end up in the model railway section and discover they've trained the insects how to drive a train.

Ohhhh... They keep taking me there on purpose don't they!

I'm astonished how well they get on with the cats. You'd think that there would be trouble but they do seem to rub along quite nicely. I hadn't noticed the model railway, is it anywhere near the skittle alley.

BTW can anyone tell me the name of the stream.

@Boiledbeetle 'There you go the compact all in one volume version. Comes with it's own magnifying glass. Weights a bloody tonne mind!'

It's? It flaming apostrophe s?

From Pedantry Corner I banish you to Naughty Corner for five minutes. Here, take this ice lolly with you. You'll need it on a day like this.

I'm giving Boily a bit of side eye as she passes because

(a) I can't believe I was once briefly married to someone who could do that &

(b) I'm not entirely certain about 'tonne' either, but I must've been off the day everyone else did weights & measures.

@EdithStourton Oh dear, knitting should be restful, or at least only creatively stressful! Need any advice?

With this hot weather I've moved onto a simpler (i.e. mindless) crochet project, from one which needed a lot of concentration if not to GO INTO THE WRONG STITCH & MAKE A MESS OF THE WHOLE THING WHICH YOU DON'T REALISE FOR 2 LONG ROWS.

Several times over.

Aaargh!!!

So are you not even going to mention the weights a tonne then?

Come on you should know by now spelling and punctuation is not my fourtay!

(I'd like to say it's because I'm not watching what the predictive text is inserting, but I'm just crap at English.)

Sorry meant to bold the weights

And despite our recent divorce youse no u still lurves me!

I think tonne is okay, isn't it the metric equivalent of ton. Although I hate it when it's pronounced tohn rather than tun.

'tis true, I do.

What're you having?

Ton = long, imperial or displacement ton, 2,240 pounds.

Tonne = metric measurement equal to 1,000 kilos or 2,204.6 pounds.

I doubt whether the dictionary weighs as much as either. Still, the expression exists to describe something very heavy - 'ton' is far more common in this context, but I suppose 'tonne' is acceptable.

Do I get a seat in Pedants' Corner of the pub now?

I think it's three right turns down from the skittles alley if you start off outside the alley with your back to the rather magnificent portrait of a two headed llama.

I'm hoping it's something peaceful like the serenity stream. Or the stream of endless peace.

Something calming and relaxing.

Suddenly I'm craving a bloody Mary!

Absolutely.

You'll have to excuse Boily & me, we're just having a tete a tete (can't do accents, but I know where they should go, merci Madame, Heroine de la Resistance, who taught me all those years ago) in the snug.

A ton a bit heavier than a tonne. I'm of an age where we were still using imperial as well as metric units in applied maths, the teacher would deliberately pronounce 'tonne' as 'tunny' to distinguish them.

I'm of an age where everything was imperial & we had exercise books with it all on the back, showing what chains & furlongs were.

You try telling the young people of today that...