Can marriage survive transition

[Thepurplecar]

Edited as I got really confused. I was asking why there was no F to M included in the article. I think there is...off to read more closely...apologies

https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/can-marriage-survive-gender-transition-yes-even-thrive-couples-make-wo-rcna158

Not a clue, I was more baffled by the fact it was never talked over at all

Is this a Dame Katy Denise lookalike competition

Jeez, this article has been syndicated everywhere. If only articles to do with trans widows had such reach.

Here are my comments from Twitter:

x.com/transwidows/status/1803696725619576999?s=46&t=PSGltfjrMyZmBtYq2-AVIQ

Same as @HarrytheHobbit

Why do women, like this woman and Jette Knox etc, work so hard to convince other women in the same awful, stressful situation that everything can be wonderful if the wife just goes along with it all and that it's only right to stay in the marriage?

Is it misery wanting company? It feels like Judas goat behaviour to me.

Very much so - trying to convince themselves, maybe? Though they've been comprehensively brainwashed, so perhaps they're trying to stamp out the cognitive dissonance.

I’m very comfortably bi, a transitioning partner is a hard no.

I’m confused by the first couple. One partner is a gay woman (born female?) and the other partner is a bisexual woman (born female or male?)

No chance. Who wants to live with a liar with extreme mental health issues?

The first couple are both women, one of whom has transitioned. The placement of pictures is (imo deliberately) misleading - there is no picture of the first couple, but the picture of the second couple where one is male is placed so it looks like it's supposed to be them.

Lies upon lies upon lies. Quelle surprise.

Of course not!

Just read this, seems an appropriate place to put it

www.telegraph.co.uk/obituaries/2024/06/28/elizabeth-jan-morris-gender-trasitoning-conundrum/

https://archive.ph/GWtGY I couldn't cross that wall

I hope she had a happy life. She had privilege and experiences that most of us could only dream of. Good and heartbreakingly tragic. Having to sell a home that she must have loved to (imo) indulge her husband's narcissistic delusion, although she was able to salvage a little of the former.

So much of her obituary is actually about her spouse. In death, as in life she seems just an adjunct. I hope that's just the writing and my reading of it.

Also, the juxtaposition of adopting an elephant next to becoming an orphan is weirdly hilarious. I think that's an editing fail.

Why do women, like this woman and Jette Knox etc, work so hard to convince other women in the same awful, stressful situation that everything can be wonderful if the wife just goes along with it all and that it's only right to stay in the marriage?

With Jette Knox, it's partly a grift.

I don't really understand the evangelism of some of the women who stay. You'd need to be a psychologist to explain it. I do know it gives me chills though. The idea that I could have ended up like that, dedicating my life to a lie makes me feel sick.

I think it's just that age old thing of how patriarchy works. Some women align themselves so much with it that it becomes their job to "set an example" and keep other women in line.

You do see this sometimes too in the threads along the lines of 'my MiL burned down the house and ate the children AIBU to not like her much?' where a few women will argue to the death for the woman to submit and suffer graciously, selflessly, silently and downright masochistically as some kind of duty. One actually admitted once on thread: she'd had her life made a living hell by her MiL and not been allowed to escape her womanly duty to suffer quietly, so she was damned if she was letting another woman escape. It would make her question much too painfully whether what she did was the right thing, or what her life would have been like had she chosen to say 'no, I'm not doing this and I do not have to set myself on fire to keep anyone else warm'.

I know a couple, he is trans. His wife probably knew of his proclivities when they married and he's always been outwardly eccentric. They seem happy enough, sometimes I can see tension but then wonder if it's my prejudice. They know I'm GC so it'll always be awkward between us but I wonder if they present a model that you don't hear so much about.

If a couple are happy that's fantastic. It's like if a woman is happy to be undressed with or medically examined by any male, I'm glad for them. The issue is not forcing non consenting women and telling them they're wrong for not consenting. It's about all voices and experiences being equal and accepted and supported.

@UpThePankhurst Well put.

Not forgetting thought that women put up with all sorts until they don't. When I was being gaslit in a relationship, no one believed me even though I had totally changed personality, so if a woman seems happy it can be far from reality

My BIL is a TW. He (very much still he) wears various wigs. I had to completely stop seeing him for a while as he looks very much like DH and it was completely turning me off. Every time DH approached for a kiss or anything more all I could see was long hair framing his face (he's bald irl) and lipstick. So if DH suddenly decided he was a woman it would 100% be curtains for our marriage.

They really didn’t need to keep specifying in the captions.

Aavril and Lucy are ‘watching their dogs playing with the chickens’. Hmmm, more fun for the dogs than the chickens, I suspect.

Pretty much sums up the tenuous grasp of reality on display, and the intellectual rigour of the article.

Good point, @Allthegoodnamesarechosen. those poor birds!

The Germaine Greer piece quoted in that article is a good read:

https://archive.today/N1tf1/b6e063f33d87544d30a1a9742ae55a862bb37152.jpg