Can marriage survive transition

[Thepurplecar]

Edited as I got really confused. I was asking why there was no F to M included in the article. I think there is...off to read more closely...apologies

https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/can-marriage-survive-gender-transition-yes-even-thrive-couples-make-wo-rcna158

I used to think so but all the trans women I've ever met have been incredibly self centred and self absorbed so that would be the thing that kills it.

Honestly I'd have to question what state their marriages were in before one of them lobbed in the hand grenade. And, what issues the non-transitioning spouse was already dealing with.

I know I'm cynical, but:

The lesbian may have been dealing with internalised homophobia, now she can see herself as 'straight' (after a fashion).

The Clarks, well she's formed a whole new identity for herself running a support group, maybe this gives her a sense of purpose, maybe she's the type who subsumes herself to the husband, becomes his mother, in a sense. Who knows?

Wilkinson - I expect she'll bail later.

The woman who took her husband to Victoria's Secrets for a bra fitting - my sympathies to the bra-fitter, being dragged into this man's paraphilia.

TBH I see the whole article as people trying to convince themselves.

I think about dp transitioning sometimes and how I'd react. He'd look fine, he has neat features and good bones plus a fair amount of hair. If he suddenly wanted to do lots of feminine coded things he previously didn't want to, I'd be pretty furious though. What brought us together was shared interests and an intense sexual connection. Reading quite a few post transition accounts, there's often a disguised statement that sex stopped between the couple. I'd feel pretty cheated if that happened and would probably break up.

He'd be gone as I lobbed the tickets to Málaga Airport at his head.

The FTM area of a popular social media site has a surprising (to me) number of heterosexual couples negotiating this.

I say negotiating, generally the man puts up with it until the T really kicks in and then leaves. The transman is sad but understands.

It's an amazingly typically gendered response when you compare it to the other way round.

Nope. He would be an imposter in my house and life and I would hate him for the sheer perverseness of the thinking. It would be an ugly divorce too.

It would be the end for me, not just because I'm a straight woman and have no interest in women sexually but also because he'd look like a fucking weirdo dressed as a woman and an unattractive one at that so I'd find it very hard to keep any respect for him at all.
I'd be concerned for his mental health due to his delusions and self-deception but equally I would be angered and disgusted at his deception of ME.

I believe that Gena Denham (trans name) who was a police officer for many years and completed their surgeries in 2017 is still married to wife Jeanette and they have grandchildren.

When they dated in the early 1990s he was a very popular man young man with the ladies and when they married it gradually came out that he enjoyed cross dressing.

They had children, all girls who are now adults and the police force fully embraced and supported the transition to become transgender.

Gena is behind Transpire Southend on Sea.

I am no longer friends with them.

www.transgendertrend.com/who-is-making-policy-for-schools/

I suspect lesbians married to butch lesbians might potentially fare better as I don’t think it’s an addiction for women in the way it is for cross dressing men.

In my opinion though, anyone genuinely transitioning due to hatred of themselves (the only real reason I can imagine when it isn’t fetishistic) can’t be very happy, balanced people. Unhappy people do form long term relationships though, so they might have partners who love them enough to stay.

Nope

Misogyny is a massive turn off.
(as is porn & how many of them get to Malaga without it?)

Mine would not because it would be a total change in character for DH.

Noticeably in the article, Avril and Lucy report that Lucy had been trans at home for 15 years before Lucy came out publically. So Lucy wanting to be seen as female has clearly been a massive part of their relationship for a very long time, possibly from the very beginning.

No, because I simply could not respect someone who thought they could change sex, they may as well tell me they didn’t believe the holocaust or that they voted for Nigel Farage.

Nope, I would divorce an autogynephile before he could draw breath.

I couldn't get through that. What a load of self-deluding bullshit! Although I doubt they are even fooling themselves deep down.

My marriage has survived a lot but it wouldn't survive that. I'd feel utterly deceived if my DH suddenly decided he was a woman. Instant stranger!
I literally wouldn't even know who he was anymore.

If he just wanted to think he was a woman and wasn't demanding and aggressive about it, I'd probably indulge it if he was wonderful in other ways, though I admit it would put me off him to some degree. But the surgery would be out. I'm not attracted to tits and female genitalia, whether they are fake or real.
I'd probably see it as the same as any other mental health problem, which I wouldn't leave a great guy for, as long as he cooperated with treatment and wasn't a danger to me. However, since I have never met such a unicorn as a genuinely great guy, the answer would most likely be yes. He'd have to be truly exceptional for me to overlook my uneasiness about it.

DH is bald. I'd drop him so fast, his wig would spin off.

God no. Wtf. DH would look absolutely fucking ridiculous. My fanny would crawl up itself in horror. The very idea. Jesus.

This. With bells on.

I think I would have to help him make an appointment with the Dr, for a prescription for anti psychotic medication.

Victoria's secrets - why am I not surprised. I expect the individual wasn't interested in a functional (sturdy) support garment - oh no!

No men who stayed with trans men though? Surely in the interests of equality we should have every perspective. They'd have a lover and a best friend, someone to drink beer with and go to the football with, have a wrestle, all the bants, one of the lads. It'd be great fun. C'mon, where is this couple?

No because I'm not a lesbian.....

I mean actually just no!

This sounds like my worst nightmare

My ex in-laws did.
Very unhealthy dynamic with their son though, just one day announced he was a woman, they never spoke about it and he still calls him Dad 🤔

What should he be calling him?