LGB Alliance starts Helpline for teens and young adults

[IwantToRetire]

This isn't a specifically for women, lesbians but aimed at young people who are feeling confused or bullied whilst trying to work out who they are. Thought some on FWR might have siblings, children, who might find this useful.

Q: Why did you select the age range 13 – 24?

Adolescence is often a time of turmoil and change and teenagers can struggle as they begin to think about who they are.

Whilst acting on any sense of same-sex attraction may be years away, the worries and fears associated with the idea that you are ‘different’ often start early.

Young adults, on the other hand, may be more settled in their sexual orientation but struggling with a new world of relationships.

Whilst the support would be framed differently and always in an age appropriate manner, the underlying message from our volunteers will be meaningful to all teens and young adults – it’s always fine to be you.

Q: How is it different to any other service?

Like other helplines, we’ll be there to support teens and young adults facing a whole host of issues – ranging from coming out and bullying to break-ups and family alienation.

What makes us unique is that the service won’t suggest to a teenage girl who feels different, because she prefers short hair and playing sport, that she might really be a boy. And it won’t tell a teenage boy who is being bullied for being effeminate that maybe he’s really a girl.

Many young adults report being shamed for their lesbian, gay or bisexual relationships by those who would say that same-sex attraction is in some way bigoted. We start from the premise that homosexuality is perfectly natural.

There is much more info about safeguarding and how volunteers were recruited on this web page https://lgballiance.org.uk/our-helpline-is-open/

I know thread has moved on but just wanted to say that They are far from the only organisation providing services to young ppl categorised as between 13-25. Off the record work with young people aged 11-25 https://www.otrbristol.org.uk/

Grim.

But reveals that how seriously needed and important their presence is.

Why would a charity helping young people attract such vitriol, other than because of genderism's deep seated homophobia?

What she said 👆🏻

"Why would a charity helping young people attract such vitriol, other than because of genderism's deep seated homophobia"

🙄

Transgender people are homophobic? What, all of them? Some of them? A few of them? What's that opinion based on?

Bit revealing that you went straight to talking about trans people there...

I think the safeguarding will be difficult to get right but should not be a reason not to open a helpline.

Letting a kid talk about how they feel and work out if they might be LGB needs to be done without actually talking about the sex part of being LGB. Because talking about sex with children is wrong one on one like this. And I expect lots of under age callers will want to talk about the sec part. I was a young teen experimenting with a girl and confused because I liked boys too. Now I know I'm Bi but as a young teen would have really appreciated a helpline to call to be told it doesn't matter I don't have to make a decision if I'm lesbian or straight just yet and by the way bisexual exists sounds like you don't know that. But they would have to have that conversation with such young people without allowing them to discuss what they may have been doing with others while they experiment and in a way that doesn't shut the young person down and feel like their sexuality is shameful. Very very hard task on the hands of the volunteers there- they will need some amazing training. And I imagine some amazing support as they are going to hear some difficult stuff from the people they want to support in addition to the violent threats they are already getting!!

I think the point about there are not LGB children is that children should not be sexually active? And shouldn't have things discussed with them in a way that normalises being sexually active under age. But they most definitely exist and will be realising they are not strait even if not sexually active yet they will be finding people attractive.

Maybe they should have a blanket policy they don't discuss the details of sexual acts with those old enough to be engaging in it. As I'm not sure it's really appropriate to talk the details. They need to be told it's ok and not shameful without needing to give details. But then how can they be safeguarded from abuse if they haven't given details? 🤔.

I do also think avoiding talking the explicit details is wise or they are going to have pervs calling making shit up who get a kick out of saying outrageous things. Maybe not even made up stuff but they are getting their thrills out of talking about it. If they have a policy not to allow details to be spoken about they could avoid some of that.

It's absolutely a needed service. I would have benefited from it massively I know that. I'm happy to read they are open to feedback as I think they will have some real challenges getting this right

It's based on a knowledge of gender ideology, which trans activists support though not everyone who identifies as trans does.

Thanks

Just came to post a link to a video in which Kate Barker talks about what the volunteer experienced during the first session of what should have been them support teens and young adults.

So depressing.

If you are not on facebook you can just dismsiss the sign box (X in top right hand corner) and video should play. https://fb.watch/sNQ0wJxEW7/

Its unclear from what she says who is making the calls or what is motivating them, as likely to be homophobes as any TRAs thinking they can intimidate LGB Alliance.

The idea that somehow the issue about biological sex being a reality has calmed down is clearly not the situation. And certainly not for those on the front line.

And I expect lots of under age callers will want to talk about the sec part

really? Do you really think young teens want to talk in graphic detail about their sexual experiences and desires, what they did or didn’t do, or what they want to do? To an adult stranger? I don’t think anyone I ever knew at that age would have done that, regardless of sexuality.

Or do you not think it more likely that young people struggling to come to terms with same sex attraction want the opportunity to talk in general terms about their feelings about who they are attracted to and what their desires mean? And get assurances that this is perfectly ok?

Sex is illegal before the age of consent. Or is supposed to be.

Therefore there can not be LGB children, but children who grow up to be LGB.

I think that the service should definitely be split, and you have to be very, very careful about offering a service like this to children.

Not that it isn't needed, goodness knows kids need something and someone to talk to as they aren't getting it from schools.

But just triaging on self identified age really worries me.

do we take everything people say as truth?

if this was a trans charity who said this, most on here would scoff that it wasn't true. both ends of the spectrum have nutters who just want an excuse to be a terrible human being.

I imagine they have all been recorded.

I'm surprised they only got 78.

they may have been doubt they'd release any of it though, why bother? They are aware of how some see them, much like charities like Mermaids know how some view them and know they will receive abuse and threatening behaviour.

Shame we have so many despicable human beings in the world who believe violence and intimidation are ever ok.

I really thought we’d long got past the idea that sexuality means sexual acts. And that someone talking about their sexuality means they’ll be talking about sex. Maybe because I’m old and I remember homophobes shuddering at the idea of two men engaging in anal sex, which is where their mind leapt to with the idea of two men in a relationship. And the counter argument was that most people didn’t go to a straight wedding and spent the entire time wondering what the bride and groom would be doing in bed on their wedding night. Do straight people only know their sexuality on the occasion they lose our virginity? How do they know who to have sex with in the first place?

Surely sexuality is a descriptor of the sex class one is attracted to, who forms the target of our romantic and sexual desires. And as it is perfectly normal for 13-15 year olds to be having romantic and sexual desires then it seems appropriate for them to say they are L, G or B if that is the case. Whether they are acting on those desires or not.

i have no problem with a helpline offering services to a 13-24 year old cohort, providing so the volunteers are trained to respond appropriately to the different needs of the younger and older callers, which it seems is the case. As has been said, it’s a discreet 1:1 discussion with a trained volunteer to provide assurance and signpost help for teenagers and young adults, not an invite to a big social gathering.

I know that. But LGB Alliance get jumped on for literally breathing so if they said something as simple as LGB Kids they'd get crucified.

I doubt it will be released, more used in a police investigation.

A desperately needed service. Thank you for doing this LGB Alliance. I hope the helpline staff are specifically trained for the needs of autistic young people and for young people who might want to talk about detransition. I can’t imagine that there are many unbiased services out there for those groups.

I can imagine this new helpline is the only uncaptured resource for LGB 13-24s in the UK. Whether as a resource for LGB issues discussion for this age group, or as a resource for autistic children and young people specifically to use. How different the emotional and physical outcome for so many young people might have been if this kind of unbiased resource had been available for an objective discussion of sexuality and gender identity years ago?

So why the opposition to the helpline on this thread? I am confused by the responses that say that there is a great difference between 13-24s, as if that means that services shouldn’t be provided them.(well yes obviously there is; but professional services take account of that difference all the time). Do you also think CAMHS should be shut down?

or objections that professional information and support about sex and relationships is being offered to 13-24s at all (lack of which allows children and young people to be open to exploitation, physical, sexual, emotional abuse, and/or make terrible mistakes which could affect them emotionally or practically for the rest of their lives. Lack of support around relationships decisions, ignorance about STis, pregnancy, abortion, birth, lack of support around sexual orientation could all leave children and young people in danger. Do those posters also oppose sexual health clinics aimed at young people? Sex education at school?

I wish LGB alliance very well and only hope that they will be signposted to by the bigger charities like Childline and NSPCC where relevant to the callers that they get. The challenge for LGB Alliance will be getting the word out that they offer this support and advice. A service that it isn’t going to make assumptions or lead and direct callers regarding a gender identity that callers may or may not feel that they have. Vested interests won’t like it at all, because it shows that kids are routinely misinformed, misled, shamed and unsupported by captured youth services.

My partner works on a domestic abuse phone line. The amount of abusive calls they receive, mainly from men, is disgusting. A help line for gay people must get the same. Humans are really horrible.

All of this.

A badly needed service. I'd encourage everyone to publicise it themselves and to make sure that if their child's school if signposting anywhere it's to this and not to organisations that dont make as much effort re safeguarding.

I don't understand all the angst about it being 'inappropriate to talk to children about sex' being directed at this service.

These aren't the people going into schools to tell children about the delights of anal sex and similar.

They are thoroughly vetted individuals that the teens can talk to about anything to do with same sex attraction. Its not all about sex. But it might be

Do those with concerns also have them about childline, and every other phone line aimed at teens? If not, what is different about this one?

Edit for typo.

Is the argument that nobody should talk to anyone who is under the age of consent about sex ever, even if that individual needs someone to talk to?

All seems like a poor attempt at false equivalence to try to show the service in a bad light... but I could be wrong.

I'm very supportive of LGBA generally. And sex ed, generally. It's important to be extra rigorous about safeguarding when providing support to children and especially in the area of sex ed.

LGBA make this point themselves, and ask for critique - this to me is positive. People can help suggest improvements and test out potential weak spots to help the service be self reflexive. That's a good sign they are serious about safeguarding.

Wouldn't be a big deal to offer two lines, one for children, one for adults? Or perhaps explain how calls are screened, triaged, etc.