LGB Alliance starts Helpline for teens and young adults

[IwantToRetire]

This isn't a specifically for women, lesbians but aimed at young people who are feeling confused or bullied whilst trying to work out who they are. Thought some on FWR might have siblings, children, who might find this useful.

Q: Why did you select the age range 13 – 24?

Adolescence is often a time of turmoil and change and teenagers can struggle as they begin to think about who they are.

Whilst acting on any sense of same-sex attraction may be years away, the worries and fears associated with the idea that you are ‘different’ often start early.

Young adults, on the other hand, may be more settled in their sexual orientation but struggling with a new world of relationships.

Whilst the support would be framed differently and always in an age appropriate manner, the underlying message from our volunteers will be meaningful to all teens and young adults – it’s always fine to be you.

Q: How is it different to any other service?

Like other helplines, we’ll be there to support teens and young adults facing a whole host of issues – ranging from coming out and bullying to break-ups and family alienation.

What makes us unique is that the service won’t suggest to a teenage girl who feels different, because she prefers short hair and playing sport, that she might really be a boy. And it won’t tell a teenage boy who is being bullied for being effeminate that maybe he’s really a girl.

Many young adults report being shamed for their lesbian, gay or bisexual relationships by those who would say that same-sex attraction is in some way bigoted. We start from the premise that homosexuality is perfectly natural.

There is much more info about safeguarding and how volunteers were recruited on this web page https://lgballiance.org.uk/our-helpline-is-open/

I have 7 degrees and I think this phoneline has safeguarding issues.

@AlisonDonut you’re a forum regular, you know how well responses of “educate yourself” and “if you don’t know I’m not going to tell you” are received here. I genuinely wondered whether you’d been hacked earlier in this thread.

If people can't see how setting up a chat line for volunteers to chat to teenagers about sex needs a much higher level of safeguarding than 'other organisations that do the same' then I am not sure what other words to use to explain it to you.

Is it to chat about 'sex needs' though?

I kind if assumed it would be to chat about the issues of (potentially) being gay. E.g.
. 'I'm confused, I think I fancy my same sex best friend. How do I tell her?'
. 'Hpw do I tell mum and dad I'm gay'
. 'I like glittery stuff and flamboyant clothes, school teaching tells me I'm trans, but I like rugby too'
. 'I'm 23 and think I'm a lesbian. How can I meet like minded people in our small town'

Again with the assumptions.

They have set up a chat line for discussions with teens and adults about sex.

Discussions about orientation will always be at the base, about sex.

Do you not see how any of those discussions can be exploited into discussions about sex at all?

I'm confused, I think I fancy my same sex best friend. How do I tell her?
How are you confused, how does this affect your body when you see your best friend? [line crossed]

'I'm 23 and think I'm a lesbian. How can I meet like minded people in our small town

This one is excellent. <discusses with lesbian how to find like minded people> <goes to places that person discusses>

And again, how does one know that the 23 year old is not 13? Don't tell me, you assume something else?

This blows my mind that the same levels of safeguarding that people would be screaming about from Mermaids are not being applied to LGBA. We should be applying high levels equally, whether you like them or the idea not not.

Anyway I've got pottery in an hour, maybe as well as being a bad faith actor, or uneducated, and now 'must have been hacked', people can sling a few more insults my way just for - oh yes - being concerned about safeguarding.

I really don't see the need to be so rude and dismissive.

I only mentioned the degrees because you had previously said that anyone who can't see what the specific problem is must be stupid(paraphrasing, can't be arsed to scroll back for the actual quote). It was to confer intellectual adequacy, not superiority. But you seem determined to misinterpret everything I say.

Most posters here, including myself, agree with you that there is the potential for problems if the service is not managed carefully. Not being able to see an issue AT ALL is a strawman that you seem determined to hang on to.

I am interested in specifics of how we deal with those problems, and whether or not they are insurmountable.

You won't say. You just keep repeating that there is a problem. Yes, we know, most posters seem to agree with you on that. I'm trying to move the conversation on to what the solution could be.

Can you not see that just raising concerns while not attempting to address them plays into the hands of those who would like to shut this initiative down completely? It leaves your posts open to the criticism that if a poster can't/wont articulate what their point is, despite repeatedly coming back to post about it, they don't actually have any substance to their 'point'.

I understand your passion. I can't understand your rudeness/ dismissiveness/ refusal to engage (while repeatedly engaging).

Are you just saying you want the service shut down, no ifs, no buts?

If so, then it would be clearer to specifically say that.

How do you know if someone chatting on an ‘over 18’ service isn’t 13? We’ve been here before. The same risks apply. You are making as many assumptions. Many of which seem to boil down to the LGBA can’t devise policies and apply safeguarding processes as well as you.

I am ignorant and naive, and asking my questions in good faith.

I still see a big difference between mermaids ( encouragement to a medical pathway) and a helpline for potentially LGB people.

I think it is reasonable to ask about the safeguarding and training, but not reasonable to trash the whole idea just because.

Yes, clearly there are many differences.

Is the answer that there can never be any form of support for teenagers and young adults regarding sexuality?

Because if the objection is that an adult with the intention to talk to teenagers about sex, will apply to work on this project, pass DBS and training etc and then use their position to talk to a teenager about their sexual arousal re their friend, or recommend lesbian meet ups to a 23 year old and then attend them, surely no organisation can ever guarantee to prevent that? Any more than DBS etc prevents a teacher or doctor from doing that?

The easiest way to manage risk is to not take any risks. So is the answer that no organisation can provide a online 1-1 support service for young people considering their sexuality, a blanket ban?

I think there should be two ways of coming into the service, with separate frameworks.

I've said this multiple times.

I've never called anyone stupid.

I've stated that if people are on here saying they don't understand safeguarding, whilst accusing people who have had to deliver sensitive services and have had to do safeguarding of all sorts, then maybe go do a course on safeguarding.

If you cannot see the issues that's not on me.

Ok you've broken me. Finally.

I'm out of here.

Childline is for anyone under the age of 19. They’ve successfully operated for years taking calls from clients and young adults calling the same number, so it can be done. I’ve no doubt they also get targeted by perverts and trolls.

But you said the problem is this:

They have set up a chat line for discussions with teens and adults about sex.

Discussions about orientation will always be at the base, about sex.

Do you not see how any of those discussions can be exploited into discussions about sex at all?

I'm confused, I think I fancy my same sex best friend. How do I tell her?
How are you confused, how does this affect your body when you see your best friend? [line crossed]

'I'm 23 and think I'm a lesbian. How can I meet like minded people in our small town

This one is excellent. <discusses with lesbian how to find like minded people> <goes to places that person discusses>

And again, how does one know that the 23 year old is not 13? Don't tell me, you assume something else?

How is having two ways of coming into the service going to solve any of those things?

I really don't get this. I think we can all agree that a help service for teenagers and young adults needs careful recruitment and training, and proper safeguarding policies for over a
18s and under 18s. But I don't get how having two routes into the service will prevent any of the above. No service can achieve zero risk, and exist.

But you still haven't said it in a way most of us can understand.

You have certainly implied that this is because those who can't see your point are stupid/ uneducated/ ill informed. We must be, because there's nothing unclear about what you have written, so you keep asserting.

You have repeatedly taken the time and effort to come back to tell us this, while also telling us you're too busy/ tired of this conversation to explain further.

It's not helping your case, nor helping to make the helpline any better (which I'm starting to think might actually be your aim).

Do you think the separtion into two portals sufficient to address the issues? Or is that still problematic given the difficulty of ascertaining true ages? And if the latter are those problems insurmountable?

Ill ask you directly: have you bothered feeding your grave concerns and expert suggestions back to LGBA? Are you really interested in making a positive difference?

My suggestion was having two buttons on a website, or two websites. One for children, one for adults.

That was it. That was all.

This would provide a very clear distinction for users, which helps to assert boundaries.

I am also giving up, though.

Wishing the helpline and those running it all the very best, I think it's sorely needed and a great idea.

Fwiw I think your suggestion was clear from the start and I learnt a lot from your comments, thank you.