“Feminism has left middle-aged women like me single, childless and depressed”

[MongoFrogman]

Article by Petronella Wyatt, thoughts?:

https://archive.ph/IBlas

She appears to have confused Thatcherism and feminism, and to be blaming her own personal mashup for being depressed at being single and childless in her 50s.

I can’t relate to the article at all. I’m a lifelong radical feminist and I’m middle aged, married and have 3 children.

She is misrepresenting what feminism is.

So all women should aspire to being married, pregnant and without a career by 30 or they are actually men, not women? Bollocks. Fine if that’s what you want from life but not everyone does.

Not for me thanks. She isn’t happy with her life choices, obviously, but she shouldn’t say that’s the fault of feminism.

Feminism got her a job, a platform, an audience and a career.

(or sorry, was it nepotism?)

I think having a long affair with a married Boris Johnson is more to blame for leaving her "single, childless and depressed."

Didn't she get involved with Boris Johnson? I'd say that might have something to do with it.

Arf at the idea that people being divided into sects with different belief systems that causes strife is unique to Western culture.

In Petronella's case, a big part of the problem was Boris Johnson rather than feminism per se.

I do think it interesting that she uses Margaret Thatcher's influence as a key part of her argument. "The children of Thatcher" prioritising careers over family is sort of recognisable but I suspect would only apply to a thin layer of women at the top of society. I do think that prioritising a hyper-competitive "pure capitalism", market driven society does have an impact on birth rates (and also leaves a lot of other "non-scalable" but important activities around caring for the old, young, sick etc in the dust). Its one of the big problems of capitalism and its really interesting that there is now a big discussion about that on the right but it has to be filtered through a discussion on feminism in order to talk about it at all.

By the way, not saying communism is any better. Its considerably worse. And letting "the market" dictate everything has advantages. It just has serious disadvantages as well (for women and men). Its interesting that the Torygraph of all papers is on this - It turns out we DO need society after all but we will sweeten that pill by making it about how women can't have it all (we can't, no-one can).

Feminism has given her choices. Would she rather have not had those choices?
And it's not feminism's fault she doesn't like her choices.

she had sex with Boris Johnson. I can't take anything she says about anything at all seriously.

Least of all this absolute piffle. I literally want to say "love, if you wanted feminism explained, why didn't you ask on mumsnet"

I don't think she understands feminism.

What an awful and pretentious article.

i remember an article by her about 15 years ago where she moaned that her predilection for older successful men meant that by the time she reached her late 30s, and was no longer a nubile cutie, such men were no longer interested in taking her out. Instead she saw her peers had made fulfilling relationships with people of their own age / lesser financial advantages and had by then got married, got promotions and now were in a better financial and societal position than her.

i didn’t weep many tears for her.

FFS get a grip Petronella and stop blaming feminism for your life choices - it was feminism that gave you choices: you just made the wrong one. I was a second wave feminist and it didn't stop me having a career and a family. Take some responsibility.

What a crock of bollocks.

Feminism gives women a choice. She chose her choices and she’s not happy with them. She could have chosen marriage and motherhood, but she didn’t. And she blames feminism?

Plenty of ardent feminists are also mothers, so why does she think the two are mutually exclusive?

Meh. I'd be jaded with life, if the Johnson caravan had passed though town too.

That's a very atypical 24 year old, given the attitude to marriage and childbirth of that demographic. The happiness level of single older women, was I thought quite high, higher than married women and as high or higher than married men.

But every time there is big social change, or disruption people suffer and stable family structures get shaken. It is true when people immigrate into a very different society. It is also true when there are economic/social upheavals within society (the enlightenment, the industrial revolution etc). Every time women take on (or are made to take on) a lot of the work straddling the border between the old and new or trying to mitigate the impact, trying to keep traditions alive. They are often the ones most visibly affected (because of biology). They are also often the ones who are either directly blamed, or who are used as a sort of focus for disquiet about change. And we are going through a massive social and economic change at the moment. "Disruption" as an ongoing process is now accepted as a business model. That's going to leave lots of men as well as women in the dust - bouncing from undervalued job to undervalued job as each industry gets replaced with another. We don't really have mechanisms to prioritise things that really matter (children, childhood, care, family) that can't or shouldn't be monetised.
Women are 50% of society and as responsible for these changes as men. But its interesting that the only way some people can talk about the downsides of this brave new world is by tying it to feminism. But at least they are talking about it.

She's blaming feminism for her life opportunities and choices.

What utter tosh.

Actually, having gone back and read it all the way through rather than skimming, is this some bizarre AI? Trained with a corpus of BJ and Jilly Cooper?

😀

🙄 Cry me a river

Actually, even ChatGPT Boris isn't as down on feminism as PW:

"Ah, the enigma of feminism and its intricate dance with the institution of marriage! Like a tempest in a teapot, it has stirred both admiration and consternation among pundits and romantics alike. Yet, in the labyrinth of societal shifts, one cannot ignore the curious correlation between the rise of feminism and the phenomenon of middle-aged singleness among women.

Feminism, that splendid firebrand of liberation, has undoubtedly empowered women to seize the reins of their destiny with the gusto of a seasoned equestrian. However, in its noble quest for equality, has it inadvertently sown the seeds of discord in the garden of romance? Could it be that the very ideals that championed independence have also fostered a climate where traditional notions of companionship and partnership are relegated to the annals of antiquity?

In the kaleidoscope of modern relationships, the specter of feminism looms large, casting both a radiant glow of empowerment and a shadow of uncertainty over the institution of marriage. For many middle-aged women, navigating the tumultuous waters of love and commitment has become akin to a high-stakes game of chess, where the rules have been rewritten, and the players find themselves in uncharted territory.

Yet, amidst the swirling currents of change, one must not overlook the resilience and adaptability of the human heart. While feminism may have reshaped the landscape of romance, it has also paved the way for new paradigms of connection and fulfillment. Perhaps, in embracing the spirit of feminism, middle-aged women find not a path to solitude, but rather a journey towards self-discovery and authenticity in a world that is ever-evolving."

What total bilge.

I know a number of unmarried women in their fifties who live alone and have a really lovely time. They work full time, they volunteer, they go to clubs and have hobbies. Being single doesn't mean they don't date or have FWB.

I think the article is more informed by the author's serious mental illness than her "feminism".

I think this has hit the nail on the head. We need society, by which we need women to take on lots of unpaid caring roles, and women can't actually have it all because we're going to actively make that as hard as possible.

As a woman who still regrets leaving it too late to have a second child, I was willing to be more sympathetic than some of you. But I didn't make it to the end of the article.

I think what she might mean is that Thatcherism failed women of her generation

How the hell did she manage to have a long affair with Boris and not get pregnant? I thought he had a child in every postcode.