I think we're losing... It's gone too far

[Patty78]

It seems that everyone I talk to knows someone who is transitioning or is non-binary. I sometimes try to find out how terfy or not someone might be. And they're not because they have a niece or friend or friend's child who's trans. I feel quite alone in my thoughts.

Pronouns at the end of emails are everywhere. I've not been asked to do it yet, but I know it's coming.

I'm a freelancer. I'm on a trial period with a new client. I'm writing a script for a webnovel. The main character is non-binary but looks like a woman. I've been told that I have to write in a gender-neutral way. But it's vampire erotica. And nobody is allowed to be anything - no genitals/breasts. A lot of the other writers on this project are non-binary or FtoM. A lot of cosplay stuff. It's really hard to write. I'm upset because they clearly don't like me. I was hoping for lots of work from this client. Ties are REALLY hard. They loved the test I did for them. But they don't like my story. I just can't do this GenZ/Queer thing. I'm lost. I've always been a loony lefty, always been woke... but I'm all washed out now. I can't keep up. I'm really upset. I have to feed my kid and keep a roof over our heads, but I feel a bit pushed out. I could fake it, pretend I'm non-binary or something. I'm just very down. Very.

I feel like they're going to find out I'm in my 40s, have two tits, single mother, 6 cats... and it just won't wash. It's not cool. I don't have a TikTok where I cosplay. I don't really have much of an online presence at all. I don't pose in fetish gear on Instagram.

I live abroad. Very, very rurally. In the local arts centre I met a MtoF who just looked like a giant trucker in a dress. I know that sounds rude. And I can't believe I'm saying it because I never would have said anything like that in the past. He was complaining about going to a lesbian event and having to drive two hours to get there and that when he arrived, none of them were very nice to him. All the women I was with were comforting him and saying how terrible it was. He said there was a "very masculine energy from the butch lesbians" at the event and that they made him feel very ill at ease. I piped up and suggested that maybe that was because they were lesbians and that lesbians are attracted to women, and it did not go down well. So, I backed off. And now, I smile at him whenever I see him, and we have a pleasant chat. I don't have the courage of my convictions.

Today, I was on a phone call with an old client who might have a little bit of work for me. I told her that I was just finishing up a non-binary vamp story. To be honest, I was hoping for some "terf" company. She was delighted. Her daughter is non-binary, and her daughter's girlfriend is on testosterone. So again, I backed off.

I think this is how it will be. I can't make a living unless I play along. I feel so fed up. I really believe in women's rights, but I can't risk speaking out.

This isn't a very well-ordered post. Sorry. I needed a bit of a ramble. I'm really quite down.

And whilst they haven't made a fortune they do still bring in some money each month.

I do know someone who published a load of niche erotica books and they are all now on Amazon's unlimited e-book thingy so the money still comes in even now despite the fact they last wrote one about ten years ago.

Self publishing short erotica stories on Amazon as e-books can bring in money, not enough to but a yacht, but if it's what @Patty78 can write them it's a way to make some money, and once you've published one the whole process is less daunting the second time.

The environment is definitely becoming less aggressive. They seem to hold less power. Things are moving in the right direction. Eye rolls all over the place.

Sadly though, Labour coming in with their woo woo fckery will reverse some of this progress.

I'm not sure.......ever more saturation is most likley to bring the public to its senses. One major problem, though, is that new legislation is more difficult to undo than not passing that legislation in the first place. It feels like the Labour Party is always on the back-foot and behind the times when it comes to this issue.

That’s right. It’s the legislation (or lack of) that does harm. In the end it’s women and children that will pay the price. As it always is.

My 14 year old DS thinks it is BS and my 10 year old DS and his friends use it as a source of gags/ mockery.

OP, the number one selling genre is romance and the writers making money off it publish independently (unless you're Diana Gabdon or the woman who wrote Bridgerton). You can write damn well. Go forth and publish vampire fantasy romance or vampire regency romance. Women 30-55 who will want to read it have the $ to pay for it. Fringe, pedantic queer YA may have publishers pushing this but it's not bringing in the bacon they'd promised. Publishers of queer YA pay the bills with boy meets girl rom com.

Omg PLEASE write a book about your experiences trying to write this book.

It would be the American Fiction movie for feminists!!

My 20 DD and most of her women friends would read it. She and her fellow generation are finding the gender special in university and real world jobs to be insufferable. And we are all on the left in my family.

OP You simply have to write your book about writing this book. It will be hilarious.

I'll buy it.

That’s right. Write about a character based on you trying to accommodate increasingly insane levels on genderwoo into the YA fiction you write for a living, Adrian mole/ Bridget jones style. Quote paragraphs that get rejected because they use the wrong words, how you describe characters that can’t be feminine or masculine or gender swapped and all the bollocks while you give us a good old love story with Rum Rando

im tired of awful female girl bosses. I’m tired of Damsel fighting the dragon with unrealistic super strength while all the men are weak idiots, of Galadriel the unlikeable salty warrior stupid men don’t listen to, I’m tired of wondering why would paul atreides fall in love with scowling unpleasant warrior Chani.

theres a lot of well meaning people who haven’t peaked yet, who think that letting little Johnny win all the girls sport day races is kind, and that women that want to swim with only other women or be the fastest woman at the Saturday park run are just bitches. So many women who think that they have to have sex with their boyfriend wearing their bras and lipstick while acting like pretend female morons because they’re scared of being accused of being bigoted

please use your wit to write a bestseller that with humour and kindness shows the average person what an insane ideology has captured so many institutions

Lool omg this thread. Aren't nipples and eyes gender-neutral? wtf
What so you have to write "oooh that burst my aorta", "my pulmonary is pumping" 😂

Sounds like they're doing the anime thing and never have genitals but lots of tentacles, violence, 1000 yrs old girls who look like 6 yrs olds etc. and... cross dressing come to think of it

35% of Brits still think TW are biologically female. There is much peaking still to come.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow in my experience this is because a large number of people think that a transgender woman is a woman who identifies as a man and vice versa. They are confused (as I admit I was some years ago) by the naming being the opposite to what you might think.

Exactly. This wasn’t done by accident! Who decided the names? It wasn’t women that’s for sure.

Exactly. The whole aim is to obfuscate.

SWP are in no way GC.

I would love to know more about this please. I'm am (very) amature writer but I've had good feedback. What is a short exactly? Did you have to pay for cover art? I'd likely write fantasy erotica but could do anything really. Dm me if you prefer.

On the cover art, Amazon self publishing have cover layout templates and photos to choose from for free

If you go on Amazon and search for 'fantasy erotica' in books it will pull up an interesting selection of books. As does 'twink erotica' and 'vampire erotica'.

I stopped searching after that as I've probably screwed my Amazon algorithms by now!

Lol thanks. Just fell down a bit of a rabbit hole on Reddit about the subject so goodness knows what Google will be advertising to me soon. It already thinks I'm a Japanese teenage boy based on some of the ads.

I have a friend who started self-publishing after having a contract with (I think) Berkeley, and being on the NYT best-seller list, because she got tired of being controlled. She supports herself and a disabled husband in Washington (state, not DC) with what she sells, and writes kickass urban fantasy. She is very prolific though.

My kids think it is funny!! They openly laugh about it. They also have noticed there are a lot of gay girls in their class. More than the 10% you’d normally get?

I am at a dance convention. There are lots of really cool men/boys walking round. Some have nail varnish on which i think is great. However they have still retained their masculinity. The one person in our dance troupe who thought he was trans turned out to be gay. I get the sense it is less of a thing than last year even.

That is so encouraging about gay girls. It feels as if lesbians have been almost wiped out in Gen Z, through gender ideology and homophobia. I'm so pleased that Gen A may less homophobic towards women.

i also think there is more acceptance of bi sexuality. I have also been in tears because they have been dances from people with learning disabilities. Lots of cheers and not a bitchy look or negative comments. I have worked in this sector 30 years and have experienced this when working with people with learning disabilities so i found it incredibly refreshing.

I think two things that have happened over the last couple of weeks are going to contribute to a tipping point. The WPATH report and Dylan Mulvaneys ‘song’ about girlhood. It’s interesting seeing the young women on TikTok carefully explaining why not liking this song is not transphobic. Their dislike involves exactly the same arguments re gender stereotypes that GC women have been making all along.
And the WPATH report cannot be ignored- it’s truly horrific.
Also true that teens/ early 20s have no time for it all at all.
It sounds really hard for you OP when your industry is mired in it at the moment, but I think change is afoot.