I think we're losing... It's gone too far

[Patty78]

It seems that everyone I talk to knows someone who is transitioning or is non-binary. I sometimes try to find out how terfy or not someone might be. And they're not because they have a niece or friend or friend's child who's trans. I feel quite alone in my thoughts.

Pronouns at the end of emails are everywhere. I've not been asked to do it yet, but I know it's coming.

I'm a freelancer. I'm on a trial period with a new client. I'm writing a script for a webnovel. The main character is non-binary but looks like a woman. I've been told that I have to write in a gender-neutral way. But it's vampire erotica. And nobody is allowed to be anything - no genitals/breasts. A lot of the other writers on this project are non-binary or FtoM. A lot of cosplay stuff. It's really hard to write. I'm upset because they clearly don't like me. I was hoping for lots of work from this client. Ties are REALLY hard. They loved the test I did for them. But they don't like my story. I just can't do this GenZ/Queer thing. I'm lost. I've always been a loony lefty, always been woke... but I'm all washed out now. I can't keep up. I'm really upset. I have to feed my kid and keep a roof over our heads, but I feel a bit pushed out. I could fake it, pretend I'm non-binary or something. I'm just very down. Very.

I feel like they're going to find out I'm in my 40s, have two tits, single mother, 6 cats... and it just won't wash. It's not cool. I don't have a TikTok where I cosplay. I don't really have much of an online presence at all. I don't pose in fetish gear on Instagram.

I live abroad. Very, very rurally. In the local arts centre I met a MtoF who just looked like a giant trucker in a dress. I know that sounds rude. And I can't believe I'm saying it because I never would have said anything like that in the past. He was complaining about going to a lesbian event and having to drive two hours to get there and that when he arrived, none of them were very nice to him. All the women I was with were comforting him and saying how terrible it was. He said there was a "very masculine energy from the butch lesbians" at the event and that they made him feel very ill at ease. I piped up and suggested that maybe that was because they were lesbians and that lesbians are attracted to women, and it did not go down well. So, I backed off. And now, I smile at him whenever I see him, and we have a pleasant chat. I don't have the courage of my convictions.

Today, I was on a phone call with an old client who might have a little bit of work for me. I told her that I was just finishing up a non-binary vamp story. To be honest, I was hoping for some "terf" company. She was delighted. Her daughter is non-binary, and her daughter's girlfriend is on testosterone. So again, I backed off.

I think this is how it will be. I can't make a living unless I play along. I feel so fed up. I really believe in women's rights, but I can't risk speaking out.

This isn't a very well-ordered post. Sorry. I needed a bit of a ramble. I'm really quite down.

I work for a global company. Two years ago, they went mad on the pronouns/gender identity thing. They organised a talk by a TRA organisation. Higher management all declared their pronouns. People on the lower levels, even liberal/left types, almost all thought it was ridiculous.

Since then, it's been quietly dropped. No more TRA training. Things like Trans Day of Visibility ignored. Trans people appear in diversity and inclusion videos, but part of a crowd. None of my many co workers declare their pronouns or have unusual gender identities. I think part of the reason is the company's global reach. Trans ideology just hasn't extended outside the West.

Where do you live OP? (You said you’re abroad)

Personally (am in the UK), I feel more and more people are speaking openly about this issue and are not happy at the way things are going. Several people brought it up too, so it’s not just me. I do think things are improving here, albeit there is a long way to go still

I have a close relative in Canada though, and that’s a different story altogether…..

It hugely depends on sector, OP.

I'd say we are past the peak genderwoo.

What it needs is more writers, artists and musicians to talk out. I don't know how much you are on socials, but that is happening more and more. Networks are forming and one can identify which presses and companies are not buying the bullshit. Of course much if it is wary right now - nobody wants to be cancelled/torn apart by the mob.

But they are there. Seek out others. There are many.

Ooh, non binary- just one boob .

Could you write it as dystopian? In your head it’s a dark twisted world where children have been castrated and some are overwhelmed by sexual urges they have no equipment to satisfy. The others have no urges so cannot understand the innate sense of need the others are driven by… all are driven by the desire to be anything except what they are…

You could have a small group of rebellious binary people, some of who are attempting to pass as non binary while others hide from the mainstream world.

To your captured editor your dystopia would be a great reflection of their utopia! 🤣

spelling edit.

I’m worried about this as well. I have two young children and worry that when they get older they will might get caught up in it. I think it will get worse when Labour get in. If I wasn’t a parent then this wouldn’t bother me so much. It’s the potential impact on children I worry about. It’s a social contagion.

I do think the release of the WPATH files lifts the lid on it though and I only hope it might be the turning point we need.

Two things.

Firstly, I also have teens who think genderwoo is a load of nonsense.

Ive also had open conversations at work and people agree it’s ridiculous.

Secondly, despite the question above, I’d avoid saying which country you live in. Safety first.

I know a lot of people who think this is rubbish. Kids too. They’re sick of genderwoo being pushed down their throats.

However, the diehard supporters are becoming even more entrenched. Seems they are prepared to believe absolute absurdities. Not much you can do with people like that.

Sorry you're so down about this OP, but your posts are very funny and you've given me a laugh this morning. You're a natural writer - perhaps you and Glinner could collaborate on a new non-binary, postbox topper knitting vampire comedy series!? I'd watch it!

The niche area you work in is very captured so you're getting a skewed perception of how transideology is viewed generally. I'm fortunate that I'm old and live on Terf Island, and my circle are all terfs like me so we can speak freely on the subject if it arises. On the rare occasions I do get into it with someone I'm not so sure footed about I always emphasise the need to protect women's sports, women's scholarships and prizes, changing rooms, refuges and hospital wards. I haven't yet had anyone counterargue. I always also emphasise that it's a faith based belief, like a religion, and as such nobody should be compelled to be a believer.

Hopefully the madness will abate in my lifetime, in the UK at least.

Piers Morgan is a bellend

He is indeed. And even he can see it.

I watched a Triggernometry yesterday with an ex Mafiosa boss, and the last question 'what is the one thing we aren't talking about that we should be?' the Mafiosa boss said 'Gender Affirming Surgery on Minor Children'.

Even the fecking Mafia are now on it!

We need a SEEN network in the creative arts and media.

And a SEEN network for therapists. And one for the charity sector.

I won't say my profession here but I've been having open conversations about this since 2017/18. I've noticed a huge difference in climate in the last few months particularly. People are sick of this shit and can see the corruption of values and safeguarding for themselves.

I think this is a great idea.

I did a dissertation (completely different subject) and one of the guys in my group was criticised for his writing not being complex enough or something. Next session he came back and had written the most flowery, over the top, wordiest thing we had ever heard.

The tutor LOVED it, gushed about how amazing it was, almost in tears etc etc.

when we left the room the guy (who looked kind of stunned) quietly admitted that it was actually a big joke and he was trying to write as a sort of ironic satire on pretentious writing.

Soooo. Can you do this? Read others work to learn the language, then go COMPLETLY OVER THE TOP.

From your perspective it will be an ironic comment on society. I think it's Poe's law that any ideology at it's extreme point looks like satire of the ideology. If you push it far enough it can do double work. Get you paid AND peak the readers to the ridiculously ideology.

Op, this isn't the point of your thread, but have you considered self publishing your own erotica on Amazon? There's a big market for erotic shorts.
I found out about it probably 10 years ago on Reddit I think. I actually gave it a go, and I'm not a writer, and made some money from it.
I've left the books up on Amazon and still get £15-£25 a month from them even now. If you keep publishing though, which bumps you up the rankings, you can make lots of money with the right niches.

😂 😂 😂

Sounds like a nightmare, OP. I just wanted to pick up on your comment: So, I backed off. And now, I smile at him whenever I see him, and we have a pleasant chat. I don't have the courage of my convictions.

I think you are being really harsh on yourself here. It sounds like you have spoken up far more than lots of people and also, having the courage of your convictions really doesn't need to mean being rude or challenging people every time you see them. I am a committed atheist who strongly believes that the major religions have caused, and continue to cause, significant harm in the world (whilst I do also recognise they can provide some benefits too). When I see acquaintances who are religious I don't endlessly comment on their beliefs and choices, I respect that they think differently to me, smile and we have a pleasant chat. There's nothing wrong with that.

You gave me a much-needed giggle this morning! You have a talent for comic writing. I dunno if there's room in the women's comedy-romance market but you could surely do it. Or create a one-off in your spare time and let us know, I'd buy it.

Keep looking out for what's new in YA fiction, this wont be forever. Too late for my DC but the tide is turning.

@Patty78 afraid the vampire knitters has already been done. You might be clear to do the Crochet version though!

Exactly what I was thinking. Write it and keep it on the back burner for when the moment arrives and you can whip it out when everyone's scrambling to jump on the bandwagon. When the tide turns there'll be a market for it.

So the Mafia think 'gender affirming' sterilisation of children is abhorrent?

You'd think when an ex Mafiosa boss is questioning your moral compass that would be a cause for self reflection.... but I doubt the gender believers will take the opportunity.

And yes, the satire will just write itself - so you have the Mafia doing more to safeguard children than Labour progressives (who routinely ignore the brave Rosie Duffield).

Don't worry about being onside with Piers Morgan. He isn't on any side..Just a bell end as you correctly noted. Ditto Claire Fox. Revolutionary Communist who sits in the fecking House of Lords. She has no qualms about being onside with Farage, Johnson et al. We have to develop a thicker skin , like our opponents. Rank hypocrites and scam artists who larp as socialists and feminists.

But I take your point - we need to amplify left of centre GC voices.

Mine too, although older. They see the rainbow kids who give themselves special labels for what they are: attention seeking (and perhaps with some sad things going on at home).

@Patty78 You sound like a marvellous mum with your head screwed on and your radar firmly tuned. Your DD will be fine. I agree with other posters that you need to play the YA fiction world at its own game.

Don't despair, OP. I first became aware of trans issues in 2012, when I found out about the medical transitioning of kids and was appalled. No one was talking about TRAs. There was a total media blackout, other than "stunning and brave" propaganda. Most people straight-up refused to believe me about medical transition, and laughed at the idea that males would be allowed to compete in women's sports or share changing rooms.

From about 2016, there was a trickle of media coverage of women's concerns (thank you, Janice Turner and James Kirkup), but comments on the articles mainly treated the whole issue as a joke. The Tories were promoting self-ID, and it seemed inevitable that it would become law.

We have come a long, long way:

Lots of coverage in the mainstream press (less so broadcast media). Comments are overwhelmingly gender-critcal

Self-ID has been dropped by the Tories. I'm still worried about Labour, but at least the issues are being aired.

Pushback against males in women's sports.

Pushback against males in women's prisons.

Medical transition of minors now stopped in much of Europe.

There is still a long way to go, but we are making progress. These type of ideologies can disappear quickly, once people wake up to the madness.

You are brilliant!

Please write and self publish your own novel about the absurdities and struggles of everyday life as a single parent, making ends meet, in the middle of nowhere, as she navigates writing about the bloody groins and nipples of the breathless, orgasmic beings, being penetrated in an environment so wet it could double up as a slip and slide.
Hilarious!