Non binary Teacher year 4

[1982mommaof4]

Okay not sure if it's me being sensitive...
My daughter is in year 4 juniors and she has a new teacher who identifies as Non binary and has made the class aware of this. She likes this teacher which is great. However, my DD now has questions that to be honest I don't want to answer.
One being do they( daughters words)have what I have or my brother has because they look like a girl but aren't.

Does that mean that some girls aren't girls...

How would you answer these questions, I'm trying to be sensitive and not offensive but I'm finding difficult to not be brutally honest in what I think.

"Also curious as to how the teacher is addressed as usually it would be Miss/Sir and I'm not sure how that would work if they're a they/them"

A teacher at a primary school my friend teaches at is non binary. All the teachers are Miss( no men on the staff as far as I know)..This teacher has the children calling them by their first name.. They get special rules. They are also bessie mates with the head so nobody can express an opinion. It's confusing for little children. This isn't Brighton or a big cosmopolitan city. It's a village school in a deprived area.

WarriorN, I agree with your first point but not with

“And for the girls likely too, incase they need to approach them in the playground when a little older due to needing help with a period”

the latter would make a transman incredibly dysphoric - and may equally be gender euphoric for a transwoman. I find this problematic

How the teacher presents herself or identifies, wouldn't be my first concern. I would be wondering if someone who is so steeped in gender ideology and is telling Y4 children that she is NB, has sufficiently good judgement and objectivity to be able to teach any aspect of science, RE, PSD, etc without sloshing gender ideology all over it.

Maybe she can. Maybe she is in fact, a brilliant teacher and the kids adore her. I would just keep a close eye on what's being taught and what your child tells you about school, and if anything concerning pops up, raise it straightaway.

Anyone working with children who is placing their mental health feelings above the immediate needs of the child should not be working with children.

And even more reason why a transwoman shouldn't be lying to children, especially the girls

Should we really be talking about the dysphoria or euphoria (🤢) of adults when considering their professional responsibilities to children??

Warrior , I was trying to phrase this in a politically correct way and not be deleted. Unfortunately this is the world we live in and I worry about children. This particular aspect is incredibly problematic.

I think we agree on everything.

You say that as if it's comparable to a child being diagnosed in years to come with a medical condition which has been there all the time. There is no objective test for whether someone is or is not non-binary. The term didn't exist until recently and history is not littered with people who refused to be identified as either male or female. It's a very new and hopefully short-lived trend.

I would just say that they are a woman biologically but they don’t like people referring to them as a woman so they’ve chosen neutral pronouns instead. It’s sad that they feel that way but let’s be respectful of their wishes. Keep it simple.

I agree that's a good point I can raise with her and have that conversation.

I believe it is mx but I'm not entirely sure as my daughter said something that sounded like that but didn't seem to really know.

How on earth do you pronounce mx ?

I would be going ape shit at the Headteacher, personally

Apologies if I've taken it the wrong way but an individual (TM) with such extreme MH distress that they couldn't cope with being misgendered shouldn't be working with children. As that is common for all of us. They're not in it for the right reasons.

And a TW seeking validation and euphoria is extremely problematic.

And if the Headteacher doesn't help go to the chair of governors. I haven't RTFT but just your OP makes me incandescent

I think that the head should have forewarned the parents. Surely you're not going to be the only one raising this issue?

Warned them about what?

I might be broadly GC but I simply can't align myself with posts like this, people who want to "go apeshit" at the head, and people who are prepared to turn a nine year old against their teacher when knowing nothing else about them.

OP, I disagree with the posters suggesting you're overthinking this or that you should shut the conversation down if DD asks for clarification on what sex her teacher likely is.

It's obviously important to DD in figuring out how the world works, and it's also likely to be a topic that will arise periodically among her peers when a child inevitably misgenders the teacher (e.g. calling out "miss") and other children jump in to correct them and then get into a discussion around the table about it.

Children often repeat their parents' explanations verbatim, so I'd keep it short and to the point, and differentiate between biological sex and internally-perceived gender identity (as PPs have said, just as one would explaining a different religion to a child).

I would also caution against using the word "silly" in the context of the teacher's choices, since 'silly' is a very easy concept for a child to grasp whereas the many mysteries of gender identity are far harder to pin down as a coherent concept in a soundbite that a child (or anyone) can fully grasp on first learning about it. So if the wider explanation goes over DD's head, it might end up being summarised as "my mum said that's silly" at school, which would be unfortunate for DD in the current climate.

‘What does the child say to a non binary teacher?’

’Yes’

Yes What comes first here - the teacher’s made up ‘identity’ or telling children the truth? If the teacher is a woman, what message is this sending to the girls in that class? this.

As fine and dandy as it is to force everyone to call you they or he when you’re a she or whatever, the fact remains that there are characteristics one is born with and characteristics are what others see - and what causes your vulnerabilities in life.

Women can be the target of men. And by can be, I mean are throughout their lives. They can also be the target of women on a less frequent occasion.

Some men can be the target of women too, some men can be the target of men but the one difference is that they DO have a physical advantage women do not which lessens the amount of times they are preyed on.

PHYSICALITY makes us as women PHYSICALLY vulnerable.

so telling little girls at a point where their bodies are changing and they too are entering into prey territory that you can opt out of being a woman is not cool - because you can’t. A creep who tries to SA you doesn’t give a shit if you’re shouting “but I’m non-binary.”

girls often want to run away from being female. Ignore all the hideousness that comes with it. I think most of us have felt this at one point or another but it’s factually impossible.

If there was a man and he was very tall, and he didn’t like being tall, but didn’t want to call himself short because he obviously wasn’t, so he asked everyone to call him middle height - would this wordplay make him any less tall in reality? No.

it’s a parent’s job to tell the truth and the truth is that some people who are physically women/men prefer to be called They because they don’t want to associate too heavily with gender stereotypes.

Unfortunately some of these people will also have poor mental health and can’t be comfortable in their own body and that’s why they are chasing after something to make them special and unique the same way people do with religion, or extreme lifestyles.

This teacher has a responsibility to these children to tell the truth and not confuse them or make girls feel like they aren’t girls if they don’t conform to gender stereotypes. Because at the end of the day it’s literally just a word - They - it doesn’t change anything in reality. You still have to be whatever sex you were born in. And I hope the teacher can be honest about this.

Easy to tell some of the gender identity ideologists in this thread. They’re the ones going on and on about genitalia and “what’s in someone’s pants”. It seems to be something of an obsession.

You’ve had lots of good advice, I think, OP. Tell the truth, but also say it would be impolite to challenge it.

Hopefully the craze for pretending anyone can opt out of being the sex they are will soon pass as it’s so utterly illogical.

Warned them about what?

That their child’s class teacher would be bringing her gender ideology to work and expecting the children to comply with it.

Her answer sounded like ... Mucs so I'm presuming MX. It's a question I will be asking the head. However husband has said this morning he is not happy with the Mx or any of it and wants to see the head tomorrow. He firmly does not want our daughter to be confused into thinking you can be neither male or female.

We're increasingly seeing employees etc putting their needs, and being allowed/encouraged to do so by the organisation, above those of the people they're supposed to be helping.

One look at the current thread about Adams vs Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre confirms that.

@saraclara warned us that the teacher would have the conversation about non binary so we were prepared for the questions. I'm not going apeshit, I am just concerned

I respectfully disagree. There are many huge issues around people transitioning and using spaces and services reserved or designed for the opposite sex.

You are correct that in the classroom or your own home, these issues are merely of politeness. However, I was told by someone in the workplace that when a long-standing employee socially transitioned from a man to a woman and wanted to use the women's toilets, every woman employee was very upset and distressed. They did not want Brian from Accounts in the loo with them, whatever he said he was.

What about prisons, mental health wards, hospital wards, domestic violence refuges and women's sports? They are all hugely impacted.