Non binary Teacher year 4

[1982mommaof4]

Okay not sure if it's me being sensitive...
My daughter is in year 4 juniors and she has a new teacher who identifies as Non binary and has made the class aware of this. She likes this teacher which is great. However, my DD now has questions that to be honest I don't want to answer.
One being do they( daughters words)have what I have or my brother has because they look like a girl but aren't.

Does that mean that some girls aren't girls...

How would you answer these questions, I'm trying to be sensitive and not offensive but I'm finding difficult to not be brutally honest in what I think.

I think it’s like religion just explain why the teacher thinks whatever they do as you would if they wore a hijab or were prone to crossing themselves.

Wtf? And if it turns out the OP's child is non-binary? A ridiculous answer like this isn't going to help them, is it?

How is a factual truthful answer ridiculous? And every one is non-binary, as there isn't a single person that embodies every single sex-based stereotypes of either sex.

Agree @OldCrone

The suicide rate myth was also debunked a long time ago. In any event, children of 8/9 yrs of age should not be emotionally blackmailed by their teacher, I.e go along with my make believe world or I’ll kill myself.

I’d just be telling my kid to be polite in school and understand that their teacher sees themself a certain way, but that they still are either male or female. They just don’t like that fact much.

For your last answer, "It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them."😉

I have had to have conversations with my DDs when they were Yr3 & Yr5. Conversation started about different genders, one had been told confusing stuff by a school friend. heres what I’ve said:

Transgender - Some people feel they weren’t born in the right body, some boys feel they should have been born girls, vice versa. Some just wear different clothes, change their look to feel right for them. Some take medication and even have operations to make them feel they way they believe they should be.

I’ve said I’m happy for people to feel the way they want as long as they aren’t hurting or forcing anyone else to be or do something they don’t want to be.

When it comes to non binary/ pronouns I personally think the whole thing is ridiculous and don’t agree with people being forced to act and change their pronouns etc.. ( I’ve since gone further into detail with my oldest Yr7 and she understands more). However I’ve told my DDs that I respect people being allowed to change Miss, Mr to them/they whether I agree with them or not.

I’ve always told my DDs they should respect others beliefs as long as they aren’t forcing their beliefs onto them. I’ve told them that no one should be telling them certainties about their bodies, sex & gender and to come to me if anyone especially teachers tell them anything different to what we’ve always taught them.

Id rather they came to me or DH first than disagreeing or arguing with a teacher on these subjects.

Id be making it clear to the school that although I’m happy for a teacher to choose to use what pronouns they want, I’d be expecting the school to closely monitor that their not inadvertently pushing their personal beliefs onto the children and I’d want to know exactly what the children are being told and that no child should be punished if they get confused or slip when talking to the teacher as I’ve heard lots of stories of children getting penalised for slip ups.

One being do they( daughters words)have what I have or my brother has because they look like a girl but aren't

How about answering that you don't know and you don't think it matters. You haven't presumably seen the genitalia of their previous teachers.

I think if a teacher wants to be non-binary or whatever they have to do that in their own time outside of school and not bring this into school. Children should not be compelled to call a man or a woman a ‘they’.

The whole argument that this teacher/adult is going to be so distraught if children in their class do not prop up their chosen belief system does not hold water and is harmful. No-one has to prop up another’s belief system, least of all children and particularly if it incredibly confusing and quite possibly a way of forcing your own beliefs onto children.

An adult who identifies as non-binary should not be discriminated against from becoming a teacher. That is what the equality law is there for.

I think I would see the Head Teacher about this as it’s not OK to have to tell a child to ‘be compassionate’ or ‘be polite’ and call someone a ‘they’ when they haven’t even begun to form their own opinions or beliefs about whether they themselves believe that someone is a ‘they’.

This. It's absolutely inappropriate to get into questions about a teacher's genitals, which you can't actually know the exact configuration of anyway.

I hope thats not true. Any teacher should be comfortable saying if female to the kids my wife and I and ditto if male my husband and I. That’s just being people. They shouldn’t share anything personal about sex or their genitals.

I doubt anyone outside this thread would argue that DC need to respect this person's identity because otherwise they might become "distraught". The actual reason they ought to is because it's polite and respectful to do so, and they might as well learn that lesson at school since it's clear their parents won't be teaching it to them.

I would just say that some people don't feel like a boy or girl so they refer to themselves as non-binary.

Children know what makes a woman or a girl female and what makes a man or a boy male. Would you like one of my children to teach it to you seeing as you seem to think there’s some complex “configuration” that makes the answer difficult?

The suicide rate amongst trans people is astonishingly high and all that's required from us is acceptance and understanding and paying attention to our language when addressing them. I just don't understand why everyone gets so hot under the collar about this. It just requires compassion.

The suicide rate among trans people IS astonishingly high, you are right about that. You are however totally wrong about "all that is needed is acceptance and compassion" - as this pushes the suicide rate up even higher.

Why should we "pay attention to our language when addressing them"? No one has the right to try and prevent people using their language naturally, correctly and fluently. Trying to interfere with the natural flow of fluent language inside or outside of someone else's head is an act of extreme aggression. You are colluding with that aggression. no, you don't have to put yourself on high alert and stress by "watching" what basic words you are using. And no one has ever killed themselves because of someone using their language naturally, accurately and fluently.

Trans people kill themselves at a high rate. This is unrelated to anything anyone else says and does. There is a high correlation between being suicidal and being trans. At times and places where minorities have or do genuinely suffer from oppression or discrimination, there is no increase in suicide. There is no link, for example, between being suicidal and being gay, even in places where being gay is punishable by death. So "lack of acceptance" and "compassion" is not in any way implicated in the high suicide rate.

Trans people who are totally accepted, get free sex change surgery and get everything they ask for have a highest suicide rate of all - in some surveys over half will go on to attempt suicide.

Why do you want to be called Loretta, Stan?

It hurts my head having to think about so goodness knows the confusion for your child. But I agree with everyone just be honest and truthful with what is clear male female but ok to choose if they wear a shirt or trousers. I’m waiting for my youngest to start asking me questions. Not looking forward to it either. Good luck

But why would you guess if someone has a penis or vagina when you don't know?

Ooo good answer I’m going to use that!

Guess? I don’t need to guess. If someone is female, it’s 99+% likely they have a vagina. And vice versa.

You know The Crying Game isn’t like real life?

Another question- when you put your hand up in class to ask a question i remember, and probably still happens now, saying “miss or sir” does still happen or is it Mr smith or Mrs Smith??? What does the child say to a non binary teacher?

When Hamas soldiers raided Israel, miraculously they knew which humans had vaginas they could rape. Did they receive extra training for this? Because somehow in Western culture it’s now become a complicated question that would be a complete guess without knowing which “configuration” those humans have.

Perfect post, sums it up beautifully. Teach the child tolerance.