Both.
Before I decided the chasm was unbridgeable, and that actually, I wanted to stay well away from the women on the other side of the chasm, I followed Brighton Collective members on twitter and read what they had to say. (That's why I came to decide I wanted to stay well away...)
It did come up at least once that they were very concerned about KJK's policy that women at Standing For Women events take precedence in the speaking order over men, because this could potentially mean a right-wing woman would get to speak and a left-wing man wouldn't. As far as I could ascertain, they thought it reasonable to worry that all it would take to get the whole of the female crowd present dedicating the rest if their lives to banning abortion/women working outside the home would be one fundamentalist Christian woman getting hold of the microphone.
It's like they see women outside their own circle as empty jugs, who will think and campaign for whatever idea has most recently been poured into us.
Yes, they're also terrified of pissing off Labour. More importantly, they think it's reasonable of Labour leadership to refuse to negotiate with their group if women elsewhere annoy Labour.
At first, the claim was more modest. It went like this: women with the Wrong Views about pronouns (i.e. that third-person singular pronouns are sex-based) and so on were calling themselves feminists, which meant the Wrong Women's words and deeds would damage the reputations of the Official Brighton Collective. Damaging the Brighton Collective's reputations was damaging their ability to convince Labour leadership that they weren't bigots, and thus stalling the Brighton Collective's attempts to convince Labour that women should have rights.
In response to these pleas, many women gradually stopped calling themselves feminists, including KJK herself. So what did this lead to?
Did the Brighton collective appreciate the gesture? Did they fuck. Since then, we have had person after person (assuming it's not the same representative of the Brighton Collective under multiple namechanges) coming on to this board to chastise women for posting on FWR if they don't call themselves feminists! On twitter, the Brighton collective bemoan the presence of women who argue for women's rights but won't call themselves feminists!
We had it on this very thread on Saturday, and I have just finished reading a 1000 post thread about JCJ's magazine from last January. Guess what? Exactly the same sentiment -that FWR had too many women on it these days who didn't call themselves feminists- was expressed!
This is gaslighting! I'm so enraged, I think I might have spontaneously developed the ability to breathe fire.
But anyway, since KJK started calling herself a femalist, the complaints from the Brighton Collective have changed. As discussed, before the stalled negotiations were attributed to the Wrong Women also calling themselves feminists. Now, the fault for stalled negotiations with Labour leadership is laid on other women for publicly expressing views at all. I've lost count of the times I've read megatweet threads that implied they would have everything sorted, if the rest of Britain's women had just been good girls and stayed out of sight. It's all our fault for making daddy so cross!
To quote one of JCJ's favourite words, that is bullshit. I'm a mumsnetter and our slogan is LTB; I know exactly what kind of dynamic it is when a man beats his female partner if her sister contradicts him.