Home Secretary James Cleverly apologises for 'ironic joke' about spiking wife's drink

Toseland · 24/12/2023 22:41

The Home secretary thinks that is funny? Poisoning and imprisoning women is funny to him? He is sick and should be nowhere near making policy for women. His poor wife, how could you stay married after hearing that?

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 24/12/2023 22:45

Im sadly not surprised. I will be disappointed if he isnt sacked. But again not surprised.

Youcanonlyask · 24/12/2023 22:48

I’m abit confused as to whether it was taken out of context and a really clumsy way of him saying he was punching and didn’t deserve such a good woman In the first context. A bit like me saying I keep my husband well fed and give him plenty of beers so he keeps coming home, which is a sort of working class joke about keeping men working hard for you and paying the bills. The dynamic is very different from this in real life but if my sister asks after my husband I’ll jokingly say ‘he’s behaving himself, I know where he is’ or similar.
also my household joke about things we’d never actually do, the dark humour carries us through hard times. I have an autistic child that doesn’t sleep and we’re forever cracking jokes about slipping him a Benadryl or a shot of whisky or even a bump of ketamine which in a million years we’d never , ever do. It’s just dark humour that takes the edge off long nights, I promise we parent with the utmost compassion and patience and have never so much as given him a shot of calpol out of context. We joke about knocking him out with all sorts though. I’m not defending this chaps behaviour, I just think we need to be conscious of the fact people say stuff with abstract humour, meaning something different and as an off the cuff comment that really doesn’t mean what it could if they weren’t trying to be funny and doing a bad job of it. I don’t know, not making a statement, just thoughts really.

cheeseandbranston · 24/12/2023 23:04

Youcanonlyask · 24/12/2023 22:48

I’m abit confused as to whether it was taken out of context and a really clumsy way of him saying he was punching and didn’t deserve such a good woman In the first context. A bit like me saying I keep my husband well fed and give him plenty of beers so he keeps coming home, which is a sort of working class joke about keeping men working hard for you and paying the bills. The dynamic is very different from this in real life but if my sister asks after my husband I’ll jokingly say ‘he’s behaving himself, I know where he is’ or similar.
also my household joke about things we’d never actually do, the dark humour carries us through hard times. I have an autistic child that doesn’t sleep and we’re forever cracking jokes about slipping him a Benadryl or a shot of whisky or even a bump of ketamine which in a million years we’d never , ever do. It’s just dark humour that takes the edge off long nights, I promise we parent with the utmost compassion and patience and have never so much as given him a shot of calpol out of context. We joke about knocking him out with all sorts though. I’m not defending this chaps behaviour, I just think we need to be conscious of the fact people say stuff with abstract humour, meaning something different and as an off the cuff comment that really doesn’t mean what it could if they weren’t trying to be funny and doing a bad job of it. I don’t know, not making a statement, just thoughts really.

But would you joke about a bump of ketamine for your sleepless child if you were a minister at a Downing Street reception?

VivienneDelacroix · 24/12/2023 23:09

Youcanonlyask · 24/12/2023 22:48

I’m abit confused as to whether it was taken out of context and a really clumsy way of him saying he was punching and didn’t deserve such a good woman In the first context. A bit like me saying I keep my husband well fed and give him plenty of beers so he keeps coming home, which is a sort of working class joke about keeping men working hard for you and paying the bills. The dynamic is very different from this in real life but if my sister asks after my husband I’ll jokingly say ‘he’s behaving himself, I know where he is’ or similar.
also my household joke about things we’d never actually do, the dark humour carries us through hard times. I have an autistic child that doesn’t sleep and we’re forever cracking jokes about slipping him a Benadryl or a shot of whisky or even a bump of ketamine which in a million years we’d never , ever do. It’s just dark humour that takes the edge off long nights, I promise we parent with the utmost compassion and patience and have never so much as given him a shot of calpol out of context. We joke about knocking him out with all sorts though. I’m not defending this chaps behaviour, I just think we need to be conscious of the fact people say stuff with abstract humour, meaning something different and as an off the cuff comment that really doesn’t mean what it could if they weren’t trying to be funny and doing a bad job of it. I don’t know, not making a statement, just thoughts really.

I wondered how long it would take before an apologist for misogynist behaviour popped up (as seems to often be the case on Mumsnet).
3rd reply, impressive.

No, there is no context that makes this okay as a "joke". The Tories think it's all very funny to show how much contempt they have for everyone - Cleverly hoped it would get him a few laughs and back slaps from his weasly colleagues.

StragglyTinsel · 24/12/2023 23:16

His surname is just not very fitting, is it?

James Stupidly says his misogynist thoughts out loud. Then presents his complaint that people just don’t know how to take a joke as an apology.

Original poster

IwantToRetire · 25/12/2023 00:17

Home Secretary James Cleverly joked about giving his wife a date-rape drug, just hours after announcing a crackdown on the growing epidemic of drinks spiking.

The top Tory told female guests at a No10 reception that “a little bit of Rohypnol in her drink every night” was “not really illegal if it’s only a little bit”. Mr Cleverly also laughed that the secret to a long marriage was ensuring your spouse was “someone who is always mildly sedated so she can never realise there are better men out there.”

He said he realised he sounded like he was promoting “spiking”. His spokesman brushed aside his comments as “an ironic joke” But Mr Cleverly’s disgusting jibe came on the same day he vowed to strengthen the law to give spiking victims the confidence to come forward.

Now angry campaigners – battling a crime they described as an epidemic in a parliamentary inquiry last year – are calling on Rishi Sunak to investigate his Cabinet minister’s behaviour. Colin Mackie, chair of Spike Aware UK, who lost a child through drink spiking, said he was absolutely furious at Mr Cleverly’s remarks. He said: “Spiking isn’t a joking matter. It’s an appalling thing for the Home Secretary to say, especially when we’re trying to get changes to the law.”

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/james-cleverly-joked-giving-wife-31741719

Just to repeat:

Home Secretary James Cleverly joked about giving his wife a date-rape drug, just hours after announcing a crackdown on the growing epidemic of drinks spiking.

I must admit I dont know much about him, but isn't he the idiot who was sent to Rwanda, came back and said the scheme to deport refugees was all marvelous, and then after a debate in the house of commans said it was unlikely to happen in practice.

James Cleverly MP - Latest news and updates on Tory Chairman - Mirror Online

James Cleverly has been the Tory MP for Braintree since the 2015 general election.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/all-about/james-cleverly

OP posts:

MintJulia · 25/12/2023 00:27

I'm still left speechless by the spectacular stupidity of some MPs, regardless of their political affiliations.

The ability to open their mouths and stick both feet in, is incomprehensible. Does the stupid man actually think this was funny? Or was he speaking to an equally dim and out of touch audience.

Mr Cleverley, I know you have sons rather than daughters, but try to imagine if one of them was drugged and assaulted.

Try !

It's really not funny.

🙄

Toseland · 25/12/2023 01:04

Youcanonlyask · Yesterday 22:48
I’m abit confused as to whether it was taken out of context and a really clumsy way of him saying he was punching a.....
That's a lot of words, none of which convince me this man is decent and should be Home Secretary.
I've never joked about giving my children drugs either.

LoudSnoringDog · 25/12/2023 01:10

This man’s stupidity has no limits

Hopskiplou · 25/12/2023 01:20

Bleurgh. Vote Tory - get this ongoing shitshow - look at the state of them. Never seen lower than low before this shower, Braverman, Cleverly…what the hell
is next and what will it take?!?

Original poster

IwantToRetire · 25/12/2023 01:39

isn't he the idiot who was sent to Rwanda, came back and said the scheme to deport refugees was all marvelous, and then after a debate in the house of commans said it was unlikely to happen in practice

He is said to have said "it is batshit"!

OP posts:

Limeandsodaontherocks · 25/12/2023 01:49

Youcanonlyask · 24/12/2023 22:48

I’m abit confused as to whether it was taken out of context and a really clumsy way of him saying he was punching and didn’t deserve such a good woman In the first context. A bit like me saying I keep my husband well fed and give him plenty of beers so he keeps coming home, which is a sort of working class joke about keeping men working hard for you and paying the bills. The dynamic is very different from this in real life but if my sister asks after my husband I’ll jokingly say ‘he’s behaving himself, I know where he is’ or similar.
also my household joke about things we’d never actually do, the dark humour carries us through hard times. I have an autistic child that doesn’t sleep and we’re forever cracking jokes about slipping him a Benadryl or a shot of whisky or even a bump of ketamine which in a million years we’d never , ever do. It’s just dark humour that takes the edge off long nights, I promise we parent with the utmost compassion and patience and have never so much as given him a shot of calpol out of context. We joke about knocking him out with all sorts though. I’m not defending this chaps behaviour, I just think we need to be conscious of the fact people say stuff with abstract humour, meaning something different and as an off the cuff comment that really doesn’t mean what it could if they weren’t trying to be funny and doing a bad job of it. I don’t know, not making a statement, just thoughts really.

I 💯 agree. Unfortunately we are living in a very judgemental world. Stupid jokes are now unforgivable and mean you are a terrible human being and must resign immediately. 🙄

SinnerBoy · 25/12/2023 03:43

Well I think it's an incredibly crass thing to say, even if he was trying to be funny, because it's not. Would anyone be excusing this if he said he'd stab a hoodie at the local railway station and qualified it with "Well, maybe just a light slashing"?

Floisme · 25/12/2023 09:05

Youcanonlyask · 24/12/2023 22:48

I’m abit confused as to whether it was taken out of context and a really clumsy way of him saying he was punching and didn’t deserve such a good woman In the first context. A bit like me saying I keep my husband well fed and give him plenty of beers so he keeps coming home, which is a sort of working class joke about keeping men working hard for you and paying the bills. The dynamic is very different from this in real life but if my sister asks after my husband I’ll jokingly say ‘he’s behaving himself, I know where he is’ or similar.
also my household joke about things we’d never actually do, the dark humour carries us through hard times. I have an autistic child that doesn’t sleep and we’re forever cracking jokes about slipping him a Benadryl or a shot of whisky or even a bump of ketamine which in a million years we’d never , ever do. It’s just dark humour that takes the edge off long nights, I promise we parent with the utmost compassion and patience and have never so much as given him a shot of calpol out of context. We joke about knocking him out with all sorts though. I’m not defending this chaps behaviour, I just think we need to be conscious of the fact people say stuff with abstract humour, meaning something different and as an off the cuff comment that really doesn’t mean what it could if they weren’t trying to be funny and doing a bad job of it. I don’t know, not making a statement, just thoughts really.

You are talking, I think, about moments shared between family and close friends, often at times of extreme stress? The Home Secretary was at a works function.

CeratopsofthePharoahs · 25/12/2023 09:10

There was an American comedian and sitcom star who made jokes about Spanish Fly.
Turns out he wasn't joking.

seenisambol · 25/12/2023 09:15

What concerns me most is the kind of culture that must exist at the most senior levels of government. He's only telling these "jokes" as he thinks that's what'll get him kudos and back slaps from his peers. It's so depressing that it's 2023 and we still have this misogynistic boys' club at the very top.

Igmum · 25/12/2023 09:18

I'm glad he's apologised but this is absolutely a resigning matter. We cannot seriously have a Home Secretary who jokes about doing this.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 25/12/2023 09:23

DH told me about this. He was horrified. He said that he had never had a male friend in his life who would even imagine making a ‘joke’ like this ( and he is 77, so plenty of experience).

Btw , we have voted Conservative all our lives, so we are not all misogynistic monsters.

Happy Christmas to everyone on this forum, you have taught me a lot, and made me laugh a lot, too.

xxx

Gingerleigh · 25/12/2023 09:29

I see the woke mob have found this thread 🙄, here in FWR we pride ourselves with critical thinking and James Cleverly was obviously joking amongst friends.

Floisme · 25/12/2023 09:36

I think it's even worse than him being a 'random' member of government, he's Home Secretary - law enforcement is supposed to be part of his job.

He's also a man joking about a crime that men commit, overwhelmingly against women.

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 25/12/2023 09:41

Gingerleigh · 25/12/2023 09:29

I see the woke mob have found this thread 🙄, here in FWR we pride ourselves with critical thinking and James Cleverly was obviously joking amongst friends.

Woke mob? A joke?

here in fwr we know that men overwhelmingly get away with raping women. Men would be incredibly unlucky to be arrested for rape. It would be unthinkable that a man would do any prison time for rape. Even if he recorded it and it was played to the court. In FWR we know that rape is a crime only in law, not in life. In FWR we also know that women are not safe in their homes and if murdered, most likely it will be her current or ex partner. Joking about rape also says a lot about the company you keep.

saying how you use a rape drug on your wife is not at all funny.

RapidOnsetGenderCritic · 25/12/2023 09:48

The top Tory told female guests at a No10 reception that “a little bit of Rohypnol in her drink every night” was “not really illegal if it’s only a little bit”. Mr Cleverly also laughed that the secret to a long marriage was ensuring your spouse was “someone who is always mildly sedated so she can never realise there are better men out there.”

The actual joke about the secret to a long marriage could be taken as a mildly amusing joke at his own expense. It’s the context that makes it really inappropriate, and if he said what is quoted above, I don’t think it’s in any way excusable. I will be surprised is he resigns over it, though. I think it’s the sort of misdemeanour that he can probably ride out.

NoBinturongsHereMate · 25/12/2023 10:33

A Downing St reception is not 'among friends'.

Treaclewell · 25/12/2023 10:41

And if it is "among friends" it says a lot about the culture of those friends, that he feels so at home among them that it leaks out. The concept of a freudian slip applies, in that this shows the inner thoughts of the man.