Home Secretary James Cleverly apologises for 'ironic joke' about spiking wife's drink

[IwantToRetire]

Home Secretary James Cleverly has apologised for making an "ironic joke" about spiking his wife's drink at a Downing Street reception.

He reportedly said the ideal spouse was "someone who is always mildly sedated so she can never realise there are better men out there".

According to the Sunday Mirror, he also mentioned Rohypnol - a so-called "date rape" drug.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-67813689

I couldn't believe this when I heard it on the news. Like something from the 50s or music hall.

I wonder what his wife thinks.

I'm not a man but can see a poorly executed joke, can see it for what it is and not take a fit of the vapours over it

Bingo again.
" fit of the vapours" TICK
Must have been watching Gone with the Wind over Christmas.

There is a huge difference between jokes amongst family and friends and an official work function part of being an MP is knowing the difference and acting appropriately

@Justcallmebebes - can you explain how date rape/date rape drugs are funny?

It isn't a joke. It is the type of army (his background) humour that illustrates why the army has so continually failed to intergrate women into their service.

It is the sort of "joke" that even in the 50s would have been thought to be in bad taste.

It is hugely disrespectful to his wife.

Even a little rohypnol could put a woman at risk of male violence.

It implies what men want from sex is something they have to dope women to comply with.

Added to all of which he had announce only a few hours before that the Tories were going to take a far harder position re spiking of drinks.

And even if it was a private function and what was said was not meant to be leaked to the public, what message did it send to staff who are supposed to carry out decisions made by ministers.

Its insulting to them, and all those who are supposed to believe that politicians are genuine in their intentions.

Urgh I’m so fed up of hearing the Conservatives apologising, just don’t do it in the first place.

'Fit of the vapours' - your internalised misogyny is showing 🙄

I suppose we shouldn't worry our pretty little heads over it either?

Comments like his reinforce the 'boys will be boys' apologist culture that allow rape and sexual assault to be so rife.

As has been said upthread, his position of authority is also significant. He's not Jimmy who works in wetherspoons, nor the unknown MP for bumfuck, nowheresville, he's literally the most senior person in the Government who is in charge of making and enforcing laws.

Would it have been as 'funny' or acceptable if he was joking about other crimes only being a bit illegal? Perhaps only having stabbed some teenagers a little bit? That feels like a very different statement doesn't it? Why is that?

Added to all of which he had announce only a few hours before that the Tories were going to take a far harder position re spiking of drinks.

If only announcing were doing, eh ?

Even if it had been a purely private joke, I don’t think that makes a difference. All it means is that he is good at hiding his true nature. It demonstrates a nasty, misogynist attitude towards women and women’s safety, and I do not want someone who has these attitudes in Government, even if he manages not to display his misogyny in public.

I'm sick of men like this coming out with 'jokes' like these, and it's especially disgusting coming from the Home Secretary. Just shows how JC's mind works. Vile. Can you imagine someone within an organisation which is trying to prevent and punish cases of racism who makes racist jokes?

Disgusting “joke”, disgusting PM and their apologists.

You, me and the rest of the country. They need to go.

Thank fuck we get to get rid of them next year.

Theunamedcat Yesterday 17:47

There is a huge difference between jokes amongst family and friends and an official work function part of being an MP is knowing the difference and acting appropriately

You're absolutely right, I mean, how can anyone take their spiel about spiking seriously now?

I have always understood that a joke should be funny. Secondly, it should not depend on targeting a person who cannot respond, because that is bullying. And it should not be defended by claiming the target "can't take a joke" or lacks a sense of humour", because why should they collaborate in their humiliation? And the number of times I had to point that out to year 4 boys, usually the leader of the bully group, sticks in my mind. And I always refused to listen to any sentence which began "It was only" or "It was just". It was just NOT FUNNY.
Y4 boys it's expected. They have to learn. What the blazes JC has been doing with his social education beggars belief.
JC should know marital rape is now a crime, and that iswhat his "joke" was about.

@Theunamedcat - surely a joke amongst friends or family demonstrates a person’s character - arguably more than one made in public, because they are relaxed and feel able to be fully themselves?

Why is it OK to joke about date rape at all?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2023/dec/29/tory-mp-james-daly-struggling-children-bury-north-crap-parents Not related, but here’s another Tory.

Let us not forget what came moments before this:

MP: "Why are the people of my constituency (Stockton-On_Tees) still in poverty?"
Cleverly: (under his breath) Because it's a shithole.

Again, the mask slipped, showing his true personality.

I’m inclined to forgive people for one off offences. I think we all mistakes and we can all learn from it - I think it’s right that there is condemnation of the “joke” because politicians help to set standards and reflect values. But on the whole if someone apologises I think it should be accepted and we should move on.
However ….. I have heard of other objectionable remarks from JC ( in addition to “ shithole”) so I’m not feeling as forgiving anymore…. He sounds pretty horrible.

I think it's possible to think this joke tells us a lot about JC while also thinking it's not a resigning offence.

Depends on how much thinking you allow yourself to do.

I agree that people shouldn't be sacked for a one off mistake.

However, as regards to the apology, for me it really depends on the quality of the apology. If he had said that he initially thought the remarks were acceptable (ie taken responsibility for making them), but that after talking it through with others he had learned why it was unacceptable and won't do it again, I could respect him a whole lot more. It would show he had learnt something. Even members of his own party have said 'hopefully he's learnt from this'. 'Hopefully' isn't good enough.

Instead he's tried to double down and use the 'it was only a joke' excuse beloved of bullies.

Not only that, he issued the apology via a spokesperson (as far as I could see)ie someone else reports that he is very sorry. If he was that sorry he'd be saying it himself.

I agree that people shouldn't be sacked for a one off mistake.

Very much depends on what the mistake was and what their role is, surely ?

And this wasn't a "mistake". He didn't say "rohypnol" instead of "raspberry jam", did he ?

Very true.

I agree, his role is extremely significant here.

I'm not sure whether I think he should be sacked. He should definitely be on some kind of final bloody warning though!

Yes, he should be sacked. He is the actual Home Secretary charged to make laws on women's safety. He cannot make those changes unless he can grasp the basics of women's fear and he cannot make those changes if he is a misogynist. He made a "joke" about causing harm to women through administering the rape drug. Does that sound like someone suitable for Governmental Office, let alone his appointed role. As a (not very adequate analogy) but it's rather like the head of the RSPCA joking about punching his dog. It is the antithesis of everything he is supposed to stand for and to be putting and end to. There are no excuses.

Looks like the Mirror isn't going to let this go:

Home Office report warned about spiking 'jokes' the day James Cleverly made date-rape gag

It has now emerged that a report from Mr Cleverly's own department published the same day warned that spiking is sometimes carried out because it is seen as “funny” or a “joke". The report, entitled "Understanding and tackling spiking", said: "This is an invasive, upsetting and dangerous crime. Perpetrated covertly and, as we have seen, sometimes because it’s viewed as ‘funny’ or ‘a joke’. This is not funny, and we must ensure that message is clear."

A spokesman for the Home Secretary tonight said: "This important report was published on the same day the Home Secretary announced the specific targeting of this crime in legislation for the first time ever, and a campaign to tackle it nationally. This came in his first month as Home Secretary.

"His actions speak much louder than the reporting of what was always understood as a private conversation. He has apologised for those words. He remains publicly committed, as he was in his previous role, to tackling Violence Against Women and Girls wherever and in whatever form, as one of his top priorities."

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/home-office-report-warned-spiking-31769545