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Home Secretary James Cleverly apologises for 'ironic joke' about spiking wife's drink

146 replies

IwantToRetire · 24/12/2023 22:29

Home Secretary James Cleverly has apologised for making an "ironic joke" about spiking his wife's drink at a Downing Street reception.

He reportedly said the ideal spouse was "someone who is always mildly sedated so she can never realise there are better men out there".

According to the Sunday Mirror, he also mentioned Rohypnol - a so-called "date rape" drug.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-67813689

I couldn't believe this when I heard it on the news. Like something from the 50s or music hall.

I wonder what his wife thinks.

James Cleverly

Home Secretary James Cleverly apologises for 'ironic joke' about spiking wife's drink

The home secretary is criticised for saying the ideal spouse is "someone who is always mildly sedated".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-67813689

OP posts:
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10
PriOn1 · 25/12/2023 10:41

It was (sort of) an attempt at self-deprecation, but even in that, it falls short. He’s not implying he was punching above his weight and she’s more attractive, for example. “Better men” kind of implies he’s not behaving well and wants to continue to get away with it.

It’s in incredibly bad taste and I would think it pretty horrendous from any man, even in private/with family. From a man in his position, in a public setting, it is astonishing: an absolute demonstration that he’s not fit to be in power. Unfortunately I think he fits only too well into the current regime and I find myself wondering how on earth we got here.

GrammarTeacher · 25/12/2023 10:56

Drugging people is NEVER funny. It's not self-deprecating. It's not amusing. It's awful.
Rape culture it's not something I ever thought I'd see excused on here. In fact it's something I thought the feminist board would pretty much agree on. Still, learn something new every day.

RethinkingLife · 25/12/2023 11:22

If it weren't for the occasional public slip like this, we would lack the useful reminders of just how some men speak when they're together and how comfortable they are in sharing misogyny without apprehension that they will elicit a suitable reaction of repulsion.

I'm thinking of the Police WhatsApp group that praised Wayne C and colleagues like him. And, in general, the AIBU threads where someone has a glimpse of a DH or DP's WhatsApp groups or the banter (about her) with mates.

Whether they claim they're being ironic, joking, or just exchanging banter: “Women have very little idea of how much men hate them": Germaine Greer.

Mochudubh · 25/12/2023 12:46

StragglyTinsel · 24/12/2023 23:16

His surname is just not very fitting, is it?

James Stupidly says his misogynist thoughts out loud. Then presents his complaint that people just don’t know how to take a joke as an apology.

This. Any reference to him in this house is prefaced with "The inaptly named...."

SinnerBoy · 25/12/2023 13:03

Aye, or maybe his middle names are Not Very.

TooBigForMyBoots · 25/12/2023 14:30

seenisambol · 25/12/2023 09:15

What concerns me most is the kind of culture that must exist at the most senior levels of government. He's only telling these "jokes" as he thinks that's what'll get him kudos and back slaps from his peers. It's so depressing that it's 2023 and we still have this misogynistic boys' club at the very top.

The party has a terrifying Rape Culture. The misogyny is apparent in the way they've treated the women in their party, lives and country.

James Cleverly is at best, too stupid to hold the office he has.

Thelnebriati · 25/12/2023 21:44

Why is being treated as lads banter and not sexual harassment in the workplace?

SinnerBoy · 25/12/2023 21:55

I don't know, friends and him being seen as otherwise competent? And the type of people in the Tory Party not getting why it's serious and unacceptable?

Whatever, he holds one of the highest offices of state and is patently unfit to have the position.

verdantverdure · 25/12/2023 21:59

Has he apologised?

I didn't think he has.

EwwSprouts · 25/12/2023 22:01

Rohypnol...“not really illegal if it’s only a little bit” He's the Home Secretary and it does matter that he is minimising it. That he thinks it's okay to joke about the effect of it is beyond thoughtless and undermines the role. If the head of the Met said 'not really illegal' there would be a resignation and Cleverley should stand down.

TooBigForMyBoots · 25/12/2023 23:05

Thelnebriati · 25/12/2023 21:44

Why is being treated as lads banter and not sexual harassment in the workplace?

The victim of a multiple rapist and serial sex offender within the Tory party was told to "Get over it" by the Chief Whip.

Now I don't know if the unnamed rapist MP is Cleverly. I know the Tory MP known to rape his wife isn't James Cleverly, that's someone else. But even if JC didn't rape or sexually assault anyone or cover for /ignore those who did, you'd think he'd have a bit more cop on.

SapphireSeptember · 25/12/2023 23:20

Gingerleigh · 25/12/2023 09:29

I see the woke mob have found this thread 🙄, here in FWR we pride ourselves with critical thinking and James Cleverly was obviously joking amongst friends.

He made the joke in front of a group of women. Wonder if any of them have ever been drugged? Or sexually assaulted? Either way it seems incredibly tone deaf.

AnnieSnap · 25/12/2023 23:33

Limeandsodaontherocks · 25/12/2023 01:49

I 💯 agree. Unfortunately we are living in a very judgemental world. Stupid jokes are now unforgivable and mean you are a terrible human being and must resign immediately. 🙄

Show quote history

Seriously? This bloke is the Home Secretary- the person in charge of the law! He ‘joked’ that spiking a woman’s drink isn’t really a crime “if it’s just a bit”, about keeping his wife sedated and about drugging women with Rohypnol. If you can’t see how that is all kinds of unacceptable, there is no hope for you 🙄

AnnieSnap · 25/12/2023 23:37

NoBinturongsHereMate · 25/12/2023 10:33

A Downing St reception is not 'among friends'.

And the ‘jokes’ were made to women. Who the fuck are these horrors who are in Government? 🙄

TooBigForMyBoots · 25/12/2023 23:51

I think, given Cleverly's mention of drugs, I should also point out that he isn't the Tory MP who's been charged/investigated by the police for sexual assault and possession of a prohibited substance.

That's a different Tory MP too.

OP posts:
PriOn1 · 26/12/2023 10:37

EwwSprouts · 25/12/2023 22:01

Rohypnol...“not really illegal if it’s only a little bit” He's the Home Secretary and it does matter that he is minimising it. That he thinks it's okay to joke about the effect of it is beyond thoughtless and undermines the role. If the head of the Met said 'not really illegal' there would be a resignation and Cleverley should stand down.

Ugh! I missed this bit. I caught a bit of it on the news and was honestly shocked. I’m also shocked that Sunak is defending him, though I shouldn’t be.

”If it weren't for the occasional public slip like this, we would lack the useful reminders of just how some men speak when they're together and how comfortable they are in sharing misogyny without apprehension that they will elicit a suitable reaction of repulsion.”

How right you are, @RethinkingLife though I would so much like to go back to a time when I was unaware of the sad fact that this stuff is normal to so many men and (I think) increasingly those is power.

PermanentTemporary · 26/12/2023 11:10

Welcome to Mumsnet @Gingerleigh. I've never yet experienced FWR as a place where women say 'boys will be boys' about unpleasant sexist discourse, but there's a first time for everything.

Floisme · 26/12/2023 11:13

'Having confidence in' is standard football speak for 'You're getting sacked in the morning.'

RoyalWhoDidYouSayNooneOfthatNameHereOfficer · 26/12/2023 11:18

I don't mind a bit of black humour, but this is just downright unpleasant, isn't it? Particularly coming from one of the most senior members of the government.

It really depresses me that the choice we have in the next election is between people who think Rohypnol is funny and people who think humans are born without a sex.

PerkingFaintly · 26/12/2023 12:14

Gingerleigh · 25/12/2023 09:29

I see the woke mob have found this thread 🙄, here in FWR we pride ourselves with critical thinking and James Cleverly was obviously joking amongst friends.

Mm.

I'm a regular in FWR (more reading than posting), and don't recognise your username at all. So I Advance Searched you.

That was illuminating.

Floisme · 26/12/2023 12:17

I did the same.

Limeandsodaontherocks · 26/12/2023 13:16

AnnieSnap · 25/12/2023 23:33

Seriously? This bloke is the Home Secretary- the person in charge of the law! He ‘joked’ that spiking a woman’s drink isn’t really a crime “if it’s just a bit”, about keeping his wife sedated and about drugging women with Rohypnol. If you can’t see how that is all kinds of unacceptable, there is no hope for you 🙄

Show quote history

I think It’s a stupid , inappropriate ,unfunny , poorly judged joke but I don’t think it’s a sacking matter. That means there is no hope for me 🙄

Riva5784 · 26/12/2023 13:58

Limeandsodaontherocks · 26/12/2023 13:16

I think It’s a stupid , inappropriate ,unfunny , poorly judged joke but I don’t think it’s a sacking matter. That means there is no hope for me 🙄

Show quote history

Are you minister of state?

Where I work, making a joke like that at a works event would be a disciplinary matter, if not gross misconduct.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/12/2023 14:56

@Limeandsodaontherocks - can you explain how talking about drugging a woman with a date rape drug is a joke, even an unfunny one?