School sports

[AlphaTransWoman]

Do you think it is ever acceptable to force a child assigned male at birth to participate in contact sports at school such as football or rugby. If so do you appreciate the distress this may cause to children born with a male body who have a female gender identity?

My daughter liked rugby, my son hated it (and was eventually excused). I don't think it's a question of gender identity but general robustness, surely?

So I guess I'm in favour of timid children not being forced to do rugby, yes.

I don't think any child should be forced to do a sport they don't enjoy, or actively hate. It's likely to put them off sport for life. Genderwoo doesn't come into it.

That's not the view they took when I was at an all boy's school 😭

Sorry, Alpha, I was abrupt. 'Timid' wasn't the exact word I was searching for; less bullish,, possibly? Less physically robust, anyway. Avoiding being flattened by larger players is entirely reasonable, in my view.

Mind you, hockey was utterly brutal.

There's no such thing as a male child with a female gender identity.

No child should be forced to do a sport that they hate, regardless of sex.

Unsurprisingly, probably all the women posting here are perfectly capable of understanding that forcing a child to take part in an activity that they hate would be distressing for them.

School sports often seem to have the opposite effect from the intended aim of making kids fitter, enthused about sports and indeed 'sporting'. It's good to be an adult and only have to do sports you actually like.

Had the same problem at my all girls secondary. So I sympathise. Except hockey, not rugby. I might have enjoyed rugby. Rugby jumpers were warmer than the shirts we had in our kit.

Gutted that England just got beat.

I found sports at school to be painful and humiliating - mostly because I always got picked last for teams.

It felt like a punishment for being male.

No child is "assigned male at birth". Sex is observed and recorded.

Plenty of girls are also picked last for teams and find sport humiliating.

no child should have to play a sport they don’t want to. In my kids’ schools there are options. My son picked netball for four years and then picked football. All children had the choice every year of primary.

Should a child be forced to play contact sports at school because they were born with a particular set of genitalia? Is it really a crime to be born with a penis?

Football

I hope this ritual no longer goes on. I was usually picked last, cos I was rubbish and unenthusiastic. It was embarrassing but not personal, they were in a competition to get the 'good' kids and their friends. I just wish they'd took longer, less time on the field.

But it was years ago, i survived and I'm over it.

You're describing an experience that is unisex. All kids who hate a particular sport feel the same way and hating contact sport doesn't make you female. Equally being drawn to a stereotypical "female" sport doesn't make you less of a man.

I really can't see what it has to do with gender, which is a social construct. It's not to do with sex either.

There will be trans males and trans females who love contact sports, others who hate them.

I don't think anyone should be forced to play rugby. Of course some physical exercise is essential, but at very least schools could provide gym or running or other non-violent, non contact sports.

I remember hockey being terrifying at my school. My brothers and their friends all hated rugby and cried a lot about being forced to do it. It was horrible.

two things that are true at the same time:

'gender identity' is a belief system. It is not a factual real thing. I for one think it's bollocks. Excuse the term.

kids shouldn't have to play sports they don't want to.

@Isthisreasonable

I've always seen contact sports as a sort of ritualised combat, designed to provide a relatively safe outlet for male aggression. I can't understand why any female would be interested in participating in such a thing.

And yet many women do.

Perhaps what you do not understand is women.

You think women don't have pent up aggression? Seriously? Are you not aware that women participate in contact sports?

All kids at DC's school learn rugby and football (and netball and athletics and all sorts of other sports). So yes girls boys and trans identified pupils of every flavour are 'forced' to play contact sports. Kids who hate maths are also forced to do maths, and DS who detests writing is forced to do English GCSE.

Yes, you've repeatedly explained your assumptions and presumptions about the experience of women and girls.

Lots and lots of girls and women enjoy contact sports. And sports in general. You surely must know the numbers of women and girls that play football? And rapidly growing numbers playing rugby?

I can't understand why any female would be interested in participating in such a thing.
Female doesn't mean pathetic you know. DD's friend who is a very small, slight girl absolutely loves rugby. She also does martial arts and is super fit. Why wouldn't girls enjoy testing their physical limits as much as boys? As long as they're not forced to compete against males their own age which would be unfair and potentially dangerous at the age these DC now are.

I have to say that seems wrong to me given the aversion girls would have to physical sport and competitive activity. It seems unfair to treat them the same way as boys.

Wow. You sound massively prejudiced against women. Even such stereotypically feminine activities like gymnastics are both intensely physical and focused on competition. What's true is that women tend to be less assertive physically - sadly all part of beee kiiiind. I'm a female martial arts black belt and female newbies really have to be reprogrammed to actually throw a punch or grab a wrist.

On the bright side, guess you've just solved the ongoing debate about transwomen pushing for inclusion in women's rugby. We'll just tell them it's unfeminine and might mess with their nail polish - problem solved!