Dismissed by supposed ally husband

[BewilderedPiskie]

I thought my husband was truly listening and understanding my concerns about TRA rhetoric and it's political and social impact but now with an election looming he has told me repeatedly that I NEED to vote Labour as "the trans thing" is a non-issue and women are not under threat. Essentially he has now made it clear that he does not believe there is a problem and I am just being swayed by 'online' noise. I find this utterly repellent. I have spent 4 years listening to and reading both online and imprint. His out of hand dismissal of everything I have looked at, read and researched makes me realise how absolutely misogynistic ordinary and supposedly supportive men can be. I'm menopausal and my memory is terrible. I know that I have been made increasingly worried by a huge number of well researched and documented articles, online pieces, books and podcasts; please could you send me links that have the key GC arguments and that demonstrate why Labour is particularly problematic for women's concerns. I feel utterly betrayed.

I actually think that labour might improve education generally to be more holistic and CAHMS which could go halfway to 'sort things out.'

He's just wrong that it's a non issue.

My other question is - have labour refuted officially that hospital wards should reinstate single sex rules as Sunak stated?

I can't see them being able to challenge and mock that.

It's a bit of a gauntlet laid down that.

I think it is terribly sweet that so many people think labour is the answer.

They have literally zero policies. You have no idea what they will do, because they don't either.

What a shit show.

point out his misogyny each time (use the label misogyny). Ask him why he doesn’t value women's safety.

I’m normally a Labour voter who voted conservative last time. I’m keeping a close eye on what Labour promise females and will make my decision accordingly.

I havent read the whole thread, OP does he actually know the truth of whats happening. People look at me like a loon when I recount the story of the woman raped on the NHS ward where the hospital denied there was a man present

I told my OH this yesterday, Im sure Ive told him before however, im not sure he actually believes it, because you wouldnt would you. YOu couldnt fathom that such madness exists

Im politically homeless. I will never vote tory. Lib dems were tory enablers as far as Im concerned but Labour have let me down over brexit and this issue. I think they also encourage and enable culture and identity wars and have caused issues (or the far left wing of the party has anyway).

I want a party that is very simply setting out what they are doing for health, education, housing, productivity in the UK, food security, economics within our trading partners (who are they these days).

You wouldnt think that is too hard but apparently it is.

So I may well ending up voting labour, I havent decided yet.

I think you should both stop taking about it. You are entitled to vote as you wish and so is he. You don’t have to prove any point to him.

It sounds like you take the view that the status of women is a key issue of our time so you can’t vote labour, and he takes the view that his overall priority is to get the Tories out.

Both views are valid and perfectly understandable, and there’s no point arguing about it.

God, I'm so relieved to read the majority of responses on this thread. Labour are definitely not a 'shoe-in'... the polls always favour them because many people are too ashamed to admit they're going to vote Tory. And so they should be. Over a decade of ideological cruelty to the vulnerable.

Your husband is a dick though OP.

I agree with pps. Stop discussing with him, tell him your vote is none of his goddamn business. After the ballot tell him you did not vote Labour and why. You will not be alone I assure you. After yesterday’s shit show of labour men abusing women in Liverpool, I don’t know how anyone could vote for the sexist thugs.

I want to vote for a party which gives me hope, has some kind of vision of what the future should be and seems competent. That's precisely none of them. I will vote for the party which seems to me on voting day to be likely to do the least damage.

This really is the only option in the UK right now.

Not one of them is competent to stand up and the people running the show are the activists. Not the actual elected politicians.

Yes Alison, this. I'm still waiting on answers from Labour and only then will I decide what to do.

Labour will spend their term in office, if voted in, claiming they can’t change things overnight, that it takes time to undo all the harm the Tory government have caused.
It will be the way it’s always been.

I will not be voting Labour. I am in a safe Labour seat. I will be spoiling my ballot. THAT is the moral thing to do.

I personally would be considering separating over this as he is expressing contempt towards you.

Number 1 priority: Vote however I need to to get rid of Tories (Labour here and probably in most places)

Very close behind that are my other priorities including my GC feminist principles.

In the GE we just need to focus on annihilating the Tories and carry on all our other campaigning as well.

BBC womens hour reported last week that Labour have very strong support from women. I'm afraid that a great many people do not believe the trans issue is important and imo this is because they don't think it affects them,

People don't seem to be able to think about the consequences. Men don't see this is affecting them so aren't interested. My DP thinks it's all ridiculous but I know it won't affect how he votes.

I will not vote Labour unless they commit to changing the EA to being a biological woman. I won't vote Conservative because of the state of the country and the party but also because they are in a position to change things but haven't, They still haven't released guidance to schools for example. It is under the Tory's that our rights have been eroded and this has been allowed to happen. They could have dealt with this and theyve chosen not to, remember also some of them are TWAW so actually party policy in this is not clear.

As things stand. I will be spoiling my ballot paper. I think Labour will get in and I think we're in for a very rough, as bad if not worse, time than under the Tories.

I am very gc, but I would never ever vote Tory.
I will likely be voting labour.

You don't NEED to do anything. Your vote is yours to do whatever you like with. You don't even need to tell your husband who you are voting for.

I do find it irritating when men tell women that women's rights aren't a priority.

I'd counter by asking him why Labour aren't standing up for women's rights if they hope to win an election. It's not at all clear that they actually want to be in power. Shouting about identity politics and mud slinging from the opposition benches is so much easier.

I think this idea that a political party has to be perfect, and will absolutely 100% solve all the problems is a huge problem. I am married to a wonderful man, who I choose to spend my life with, and it's a choice I make every day. But he's not perfect. Nothing and no one is perfect so expecting that from our political parties is crazy.

I do not believe that labour are going to completely change things in five minutes. But what I DO believe is that the Tory government has way too many entitled, complacent people who have lost sight of what being in politics means. I think even if they were the best party normally, they have been in power for so long, they simply don't have a clue any more - made worse during a cost of living crisis when conservative politicians are almost always relatively well off and completely protected from the reality of tough economic conditions.

If Labour is in power for 13 years, I suspect I'll feel the same but for right now, we need fresh blood. We need new energy and we need some effort to change. Bloody Rishi Sunak cannot be, "the party of change" FFS.

My concern with the position that "we need Labour to sort out the Tories' mess, women's rights are less important than the challenges of just day to day livng" is that Labour will find these problems are hard to fix and there's no easy answers.

So they will look around for "easy" targets to show their supporters they are doing something.

Elevating gender over sex is cheap and easy.

No, I'll rephrase that. Elevating gender over sex is incredibly hard. It involves properly understanding gender and rethinking society from the ground up, changing all our existing structures and most likely creating new versions of at least some single sex provisions that remain necessary and relevant even in a gender-first world.

But elevating gender over sex is cheap and easy if you ignore all the above, have no intention of even acknowledging the impact on female people, let alone doing anything concrete to mitigate it, and think all that is needed is to make it a legal fact that anything that currently says "women only" includes all males who identify as women, no ifs no buts no exceptions.

That way just needs some legal changes...debates and the cost of updating a few legal documents and maybe some signs on a few doors.

No cost to change infrastructure, implement new support services, rethink anything at all, and thanks to these ridiculous tribal "Culture Wars", of huge symbolic value to their noisiest supporters as we are seeing in Liverpool.

Of course they will do it.

Such a good point @FlirtsWithRhinos, you’re right, of course they will.

Nothing and no one is perfect so expecting that from our political parties is crazy

I'm not looking for perfect. I'm just looking for someone who can calmly state that gravity exists, that women are female, and that the earth is a sphere.

That's interesting re polls, I didn't know that.

I had the overwhelming impression they were due a landslide. I've read as much.

I think from the POV of a Scottish voter, Labour are perhaps a slightly different proposition, as is the whole political landscape.

So, it looks like I'll be voting Tory for the first time in the next g.e, but I'm not prepared to spoil my ballot and I won't vote for a party entrenched in this misogynistic, anti- reality, faith based doctrine that makes blasphemers out of those who won't submit.

I held my nose in the last elections, for the greater good and thinking that this madness was surely time limited 🙄, only to watch the front bench totally ignore the appalling treatment of Duffield and I can't support a party that behaves that way. How could anyone be under the illusion that this is reasonable? For a woman to be heckled for recognizing her own sex? How does a democratic party work when they cannot tolerate dissent?

If dh had a problem with that he could go whistle.