Dismissed by supposed ally husband

[BewilderedPiskie]

I thought my husband was truly listening and understanding my concerns about TRA rhetoric and it's political and social impact but now with an election looming he has told me repeatedly that I NEED to vote Labour as "the trans thing" is a non-issue and women are not under threat. Essentially he has now made it clear that he does not believe there is a problem and I am just being swayed by 'online' noise. I find this utterly repellent. I have spent 4 years listening to and reading both online and imprint. His out of hand dismissal of everything I have looked at, read and researched makes me realise how absolutely misogynistic ordinary and supposedly supportive men can be. I'm menopausal and my memory is terrible. I know that I have been made increasingly worried by a huge number of well researched and documented articles, online pieces, books and podcasts; please could you send me links that have the key GC arguments and that demonstrate why Labour is particularly problematic for women's concerns. I feel utterly betrayed.

For example if it’s a safe Tory seat your votes don’t matter anyway

Ideological capture is Nazi Germany. We cannot ever have a government willing to stray from Truth, Reality, Science.

I don't see the Tories sticking any too rigidly to Science in their climate policies.

They just take whatever research and figures they think they can use to win votes, and bin the rest.

That baying TRA mob who are looking for blood? they are no different from any other extremist, and I think they are the biggest threat to this country as it stands. The harm they could do if their ideology was unleashed would be bloody.

Those who fail to learn from history's mistakes are doomed to repeat them.

This who fail to notice the red flags of history's mistakes, are doomed to repeat them.

the science on climate change, and the road to getting there is alot more of a grey area that the simple reality of 'male and female'. There is no reason any government should get that wrong - unless swayed by ideology

please could you send me links that have the key GC arguments and that demonstrate why Labour is particularly problematic for women's concerns. I feel utterly betrayed.

Your DH is entitled to his own views. What good do you think it will do for you to bombard him with a whole load of links? You will simply infuriate him and confirm him in his belief that you are obsessed with this. Having his own opinions is not 'betraying' you.

You cannot control his thoughts and actions. Clearly he believes that single issue voting is not the way to go in this election.

He cannot insist that you vote the way he wants you to. You cannot insist that he agrees with you on trans issues.
Step back and leave him alone.

makes me wish I was single!!

That can be arranged....

And i don't mean under the patio arranged... Although it's nice to dream!

I was thanked nudge wink for voting for a candidate.

I asked how he knew and was told that our slips were cross-referenced with our card numbers.

@Toseland ridiculous post.

I’ll also be voting Labour - I’m GC but work in the public sector. We simply cannot survive another 13 years of this cruel incompetent government.

I will be voting conservative because to me this is a deal breaker issue. I can't vote for a party that thinks people can change sex or be of no sex. I have to vote for women's rights.
And I'm afraid it would be a deal-breaker in my relationship too.

@agent765 really? 🙄 Who the fuck had the time to search through thousands of ballot papers to do that?

@zurala because the Tories have just been fucking amazing for women’s rights haven’t they. You should come and do my job for a week - you’d never vote Tory again.

Yeah fully GC but will vote to get Tories out because of the need for social responsibility. Awful choice but the rational behind Tory decisions is often very different from mine and they do not speak for me.

Your vote is your vote & therefore you absolutely‘ need’ to vote in line with your beliefs.

I won’t be voting Labour, not a cat in hells chance for a few reasons. I also won’t be voting tories again for a few reasons.

Nobody will be telling me to or not to vote for.

Labour and the Unions are not the friends of women. They are a boys' club, always have been. You are just there to make the tea.

Birmingham Council - Labour run - declared itself bankrupt rather than pay out the money due to women under an equal pay ruling from more than a decade ago.

I'm really confused about why people have this blind faith in Labour sorting out the NHS, housing, the environment when on very basic issues they've shown that they're not willing to recognise incontrovertible scientific fact nor take steps to address any problems with this reality. They've shown they're willing to parrot magical thinking even when reality is right in front of them. And that magical thinking matters more than harm to children.

I have absolutely no faith in them whatsoever. Most of their policies seem very close to the Tories, they keep saying things like they won't raise taxes - well how are they going to make things better then? Any attempts to pin them down on where the money is going to come from for various high level plans seems to result in magical thinking and handwaving. The NHS already spends millions on EDI when there aren't enough nurses. The likelihood under Labour is that they'd spend more on EDI and simply identify as having more nurses.

They never seem to say anything original and a lot of their policies seem to have been dreamt up by A-level students with no grasp of reality nor ability to think strategically or risk assess, like the recent toothbrushing in school plan (like the school timetable isn't tight enough and teachers don't have enough to do already). I can't even imagine how much worse the D&V bugs would be if every child brought a toothbrush into school, the mind simply boggles at how any political party could come up with this. Have any of them ever set foot in a state school? Do they not think parents should be responsible for anything any more?

Of course, the Tories are also awful. Their only redeeming feature seems to be they're a bit more honest about how they're screwing over the country, whereas with Labour it's a case of 'but this turd identifies as a land of unicorns and rainbows....' and you MUST believe it.

I don't really want to vote for any of them.

It's not up to your husband who you vote for. I'd stop talking to him about it. Do what you feel is right.

And on the toothbrushing in school idea: do they really think that children are going to have better oral hygiene when one harried teacher / TA is trying to supervise a class of 30 whilst also trying to keep to schedule than if a child is supervised 1 on 1 (or 2 or 3) at home by a parent?

Have they ever tried to get a class of 30 children do anything involving putting things in their mouths? Do they not see the obvious potential problems? Mind blown at the absolutely terrible calibre of of the people coming up with these ideas.

The Tories are far more dangerous for women!

That.

FWIW Labour look like they're going to waltz in anyway.

But it sounds to me like it's the underlying attitude of your husband that's the problem more than a Labour government.

I'm sorry, OP. I think you need a serious chat with him about how he speaks to you.

This. As a chronically ill person I need the NHS. Really need it; I'm pretty much uninsurable due to immunology issues and even if anyone would insure me, my illness means I can't work the hours needed to afford it. So whilst I have worries surrounding much of the gender debate, please vote Labour for me and the millions like me.

Need to vote Labour. You don’t need to vote for anyone. Your husband was probably just being clumsy with his language though and I’m sure he understands nobody can tell you how to vote. He’s probably just passionately anti-Tory and his emotions got the better of him, after the last 13 years it’s somewhat understandable.

If my significant other said to me I would tell them that just for that I was voting Reform UK because I don’t appreciate being told who I have to vote for, only in my case they would be believe me and say ‘oh OK then’. Last time I voted was for a small party called the Scottish Family Party.

Starmer has no integrity and let's himself be blown about by whatever wind is fashionable. As soon as he gets into power he will turn on women without a second thought. He is not a man to be trusted.

I’ve will be voting labour. As a teacher, I’ve worked in schools under labour and I’ve worked in schools under the tories. Labour invest, tories neglect. I’m gc, but health, environment, education, and housing are all more important to me.

I don’t think the trans ideology/gc divide is particularly political in this country, with both sides only caring about it in as much as they think it’s going to win or lose seats. After what happened to the snp, neither side is going to be backing trans ideology far.

But that isn't happening. It really isn't. There are plenty of LGB students I've taught over the years and very few T students (I've been teaching for over 20 years). The number of trans students is also not increasing. By far the bigger issues are the economy, climate change and education in my opinion but I don't agree with most on this board on trans rights anyway. It isn't a non-issue. We need to solve this (we'll be at opposites on the solution I strongly suspect) BUT how can you see the state of the country (including the significantly lower funding than expected schools are now facing next year announced 5pm on Friday) and think this is the biggest issue? I can understand the differing opinions on trans rights. I can't understand thinking this is the key issue of the next general election.

My pov is that the tories are as culpable as labour in all this mess.

I don't think it matters who we vote for; the issues will still be there and still need to be dealt with.

With labour in power a lot of other things could be better. At the same time they will still have to deal with the medical and educational issues that are spiralling out of control. And they will have to follow through on things like Cass etc simply as the scientific evidence and data is staring them in the face. Safe schools alliance aren't going away and neither are KPSS, sex matters and the MoJ data on sex offenders. There are only going to be more detransitioners

Yes, a load of them are inadequate on the matter. But others are not. Rosie and others have insinuated that there are many labour MPs who want to stand witb yet but can't currently. That could change when in power.

The issue with a change on gov is that transition means a lot of things are put on hold. But I'm still unsure the tories are as committed as moving on things as they say tbh.

It's all a moot point for me as I probably have to vote green 🤪