DS's school - deep in genderwoo

[doublehistrionics]

DS started at senior this term, y9. It's a private school, he was at the prep before.

A couple of weeks in it's clear the school is pretty captured by gender ideology. He has a teacher who is they/them, all the teachers wearing pronouns on their lanyards and DS has been told that he must get it right or he could be sanctioned.

Last week they were invited in to a room, one-by-one and with a tape recorder running asked to state their pronouns, to someone not known to them at all and quite possibly a non-staff member.

I'm pretty exasperated. I've emailed and had a conversation with the head of house who made noises about escalating it and having conversations but I don't believe anything will change.

Anyone else having this experience?

I don't believe in making kids switch schools at the drop of a hat. It's disruptive and tough. But in this situation, I'd seriously consider it.

Of course people should make whatever decisions they like in their private lives and have the same legal rights as everyone else. But that's not the same as what's going on at your son's school.

I don't even want to think too hard about my gender identity now and I certainly wouldn't have been ready to discuss it at your son's age. It's not appropriate, in my opinion, that they're hounding kids about their sexuality. I also don't think it's healthy to teach kids that it's such an important thing. School should not be about teaching kids to navel-gaze or frightening kids to get pronouns right.

I'm as liberal as they come but this seems off. It won't get better and you don't want to be involved in arguments with school officials. I'd get him out of there.

I'd pull him out of there too.

Have a look at this thread OP - and maybe share the article by Stephanie Davies Arai with the Head? Far too many independent schools have been captured by the trans lobby with zero insight into how this breaches both a school's legal responsibility to be politically impartial (1994 Education Act) and safeguarding guidance:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4905936-the-government-needs-to-put-safeguarding-first-outstanding-article-by-stephanie-davies-arai

And go to the top - complain to the Head and let them start explaining why the school are breaching their legal responsibilities.

I wouldn't want my child exposed to this. I'd change school, definitely.

Last week they were invited in to a room, one-by-one and with a tape recorder running asked to state their pronouns, to someone not known to them at all and quite possibly a non-staff member.

JFC!

@Notlaughingalot , I would love to but sadly where we are all the local schools are trans flagships. I have zero other options.

DS will be fine, he gets it.

Thanks for that article, @MrsOvertonsWindow I will send that to him. I did tell him that inviting pressure groups in to advise would result in him breaching safeguarding as he did with his little meetings.

Bloody hell this is awful.

id be very tempted to get the fuck out.

@Crouton19 Took me a moment to work out what JFC was. But yeah JFC.

You could try contacting the governors perhaps? And possibly also contact Transgender Trend and/or other groups for advice. It sounds like they are MASSIVELY overstepping the mark, discriminating against children who don't believe in gender ideology (and anyone else who can't manage the nonsense problems, such as some autistic/neurodiverse kids), and I would have a LOT of questions about the tape recorder incident, which if true, sounds extremely dodgy in many different ways (privacy, data protection, imposing political ideology and more).

It's enraging that Heads & schools are being coerced into abandoning safeguarding and forgetting everything they know about dealing with mentally vulnerable children by trans extremist groups and individuals. The pressure from the independent school organisations has been discussed on here before with considerable evidence about how self interested adults have been given free rein to persuade schools to prioritise trans ideology over child centred, politically neutral education for children:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4796022-hmc-independent-schools-heads-conference-showcasing-bobbi-pickard-in-gift-of-trans-talk

On the matter of the pronouns meeting, I said that as there was no option to either not-attend or any option to say none the above (they had to tick them from a list with he/him, she/her they/them or - the icing on the cake - ze/zem) the school had breached its duty of political impartiality. I said I wanted it deleted as my son had said he was a he/him but that he was categorically no such thing. He said my email had sparked a conversation further up and he'd get back to me but tumbleweed.

It’s private school, zero sympathy here.

I’d be reminding them that however well meaning, that is not good safeguarding practice and doesn’t sound good when reported in the press.

That taking medical advice from a non medical community is completely irresponsible.

That if anything goes wrong the leadership will be held accountable and have to explain their lax decision making process etc.

Sounds awful

Did you find out who the person with the tape recorder was, and the purpose of the recording?

When it comes to pronouns I just skip and say them / they. I don't want to drawn into a public domain my views on gender ideology. But of course I don't have that right. God if I was asked for my pronoun it would be 'it' that would piss people off. I don't identify as my sex or sexual orientation.

@BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn , I'm waiting to hear back. I've set out in an email that I need to know who, what and why and also for the recording to be deleted.

Hope the Head is copied into all this? They're the person with the ultimate influence and if they can see that parents are unhappy, are more likely to insist on change. Middle managers don't always have that perspective and can get into (pointless) battles with parents.

Terrifying.

@MrsOvertonsWindow I haven't had any contact with the head yet, but I'll have to I suppose.

Is it an HMC school? They are terrible for gender ideology as an organisation. If it is, you could write to their general secretary, Simon Hyde. He won’t do anything, but the more parents who complain about gender ideology in their schools, the better for raising awareness to him that it is an issue.

apart from anything else, can you imagine the outcry if this was applied to any other personal characteristic?

Having to walk into a room alone with a random unidentified person and declare your sexuality, religion, any disabilities, etc. and have it recorded with no option to opt out?

there's a reason that when those questions are asked in job applications or similar they are a) optional and b) keep anonymous and apart from the main application

It’s a shame you say there are no alternatives for him because I’d take my child away from this school immediately. To think that you’re actually paying for this too 🤦‍♀️

Creepy as fuck.

Pink roses, nice of you to highlight your belief that there are some children who don’t deserve protection