There has been quite a lot of in the past year how women are now choosing to stay single and they rather be alone. Are you actually seeing this in real life?

[ThisWillBeMyDay]

Also there is big talk how women won’t date just any man, women have standards and no woman now NEEDS a man.
I’m not really sure why they push these articles, often times they are total hyperbole too (apperently in 2030, 45% of women aged 25-44 are unmarried and childless. Like not being married and not having kids in your 20’s is even worth saying - nevermind a headline!)

To be clear, I support all of this. Being or staying long term, or whole life, single. Being childfree.
I personally am single and don’t want kids. So definitely not saying anything bad about these news and studies and what-not. I’m just not seeing it in real life.

That being said, I don’t really see this in the real world. Most women still want boyfriends/husbands. So many put with shit (biggest is porn watching, honestly can’t understand how any woman can stay and love a man like this) I could never.

And I’ve been looking for women to be friends with, who have something else than men in mind, they are HARD to find, impossible.
I don’t know one women who isin’t/doesn’t want a relationship and don’t do hook-up’s (sorry, but these women are often times worse than women in relationships, men take so much of their mental space).

Anyway, that was my linger than intented rant.
My question and point was: have you personally seen these ’women are walking away from men’ thing happening?

I'm nearly 50 and there aren't many of the women I know who aren't married or in a relationship. There are a few, but I can't think of any that actually choose to be single - all would've liked to have met someone - but for some it just didn't happen. As for my friendship group - most are couples and I think there's something to be said for people in couples are friends with other couples, so possibly my view is skewed by that.

Oh noes, what will we do, the menz are excited? Strange word to use.

Meh, when I can bring myself to give a shit what MRAs will screenshot I'll let you know.

Most people I know are in relationships but there's a strong single contingent.

in my late 40s, most of my friends are single -either childless or with one kid. I was in relationships since I was 17, and have been single for over 10 years - feel like there is no power on earth that will make me couple up with anyone again.

I do see it in life - i'm late 30s but an anomaly among my friends, most are childless.

Lazy writing on my part, apologies for that.

What I was referring to are the articles and books which suggest that women might have to choose between higher education and careers or marriage and children.

Even the very real problem of fewer men going to university is sometimes framed as a problem for educated women who are assumed to practise hypergamy and so will end up alone etc. (despite data not showing this, at least in the US, where marriage rates are positively correlated with education levels).

In other words, higher education is argued to damage women's chances of marriage and family formation.

Being able to live comfortably on their own income is definitely a key factor, and that is more likely to be when you are older rather than younger. I have sadly known women in their 20s and 30s who feel trapped in a relationship because single life is so much more expensive.

Relationships are boring and lame, why anyone wants one is a mystery to me. How many people pursue/stay in relationships just for the sake of it or because they think it's a life requirement? And how many of them would be happier not in a relationship?

No. People - not just women but decent men -still want to have a meaningful connection with another person or several people. Women walking away from having children, yes - birthrate figures confirm this. Who can blame them when you are expected to devote your entire life to your child but god forbid they might do the slightest thing for you.

Eventually most women end upon their own as men tend to die first. Maintaining your female friendships is important. I suspect lesbians who find a partner are happier than married women.

Maintaining your female friendships is important.

It’s often difficult, if not impossible when women get so wrapped up with their partner/kids and become very selfish.
And many women don’t want to be friends with single/childless women.

Mid 50s here and have been single since my 40th year with one long term FWB that ended 6 years ago. I would NEVER live with another man and haven't been tempted to date. I find too many pluses to being single.

What's with all the angst about the population drop? There doesn't appear to be any shortage of people wishing to come to the U.K. and as we're a relatively temperate and climatically stable part of the planet, as time progresses, that doesn't seem to me likely to change. Is it that they aren't born and bred 'British ' - is that really an issue?

I definitely think that is part of it....in many places immigration is a dirty word, not just the UK.

For example in Japan they have an issue with low birth rate and ageing population, but really the problem is they don't want to accept immigrants.

In reality, there are 8 billion + people on this planet, we are not running out of people any time soon.

The red-pill, MRA, submissive-wife movement is VERY upset at the idea that women can survive without a man. They rely very much on the premise that women are needy, stupid and cowardly, and require a man to tell them what to do. They need to convince women that a cheating, dismissive, tyrannical abuser is superior to "being alone."

The truth is, they want to remove from women the right to choose to be alone. They want society to FORCE women to marry. (See Jordan Peterson's lovely discussions of "enforced monogamy," where every man is provided a "healthy, attractive young woman" when he so chooses so that someone will clean his house, cook him healthy food and provide him with sexual release.) If women are forced by society to marry, then low quality men will have wives provided for them and they will never have to be decent human beings, they can skeeze around and do as they please while women live on a steady diet of shit sandwiches.

There are a lot of hyperbolic articles about that say things like "men are choosing AI girlfriends and it's ruining them, here is why the blame for that lies entirely with women and not with the men actually choosing a robot over a person" and "there aren't enough children, the world will end if we don't force all women to have a baby a year starting at 16 years old" and "women are naturally monogamous and men are not, therefore women need to accept that men are under no moral obligation to be faithful to their wives." It's all manipulative, dishonest garbage.

If marriage was so horrible for men and so great for women, then widows would be remarrying instead of staying single and widowers wouldn't be remarried before their late wife's body is cold. And sorry, the whole "men have value and women don't, no one wants to marry widows" story falls apart when those same red-pill assholes go on and on about how "alpha widows" who refuse to remarry despite men wanting to marry them are "overestimating their value and failing as women."

What a load of nonsense that whole philosophy is.

Hear, hear, @HoneyBadgerMom . If men want wives, they should probably try not being misogynist arseholes.

Precisely. When those men describe a "traditional wife with good morals," they are describing a slave and doormat. Essentially, they want ZERO accountability. They expect women to worship them and completely subjugate themselves to them, groveling and begging for scraps of "love," (which to them means "allow her to live indoors and wait on me hand and foot") and in return, women are given the glorious gift of knowing their lifetime of miserly, degradation and sacrifice will be rewarded posthumously when their noble husband mentions to his two new 19 year old girlfriends that he used to have a wife and she wasn't so bad. 🙄

@LoudSnoringDog same - i have two kids and if my DP died tomorrow I wouldn’t bother to rush out an find a man again, I love my DP and we rub along ok but I’d be perfectly happy on my own - I’m financially independent as well as I’m the main breadwinner.

It's probably about 50/50 among my lovely and well educated female friends. Some actively want the nuclear family (or a variation of), some are struggling with the decision (I'm at an age where it's definitely decision time) and a few are perfectly happy by themselves - open to the idea of a partner but absolutely unfazed of it doesn't happen.

I love them all but particularly the latter, who are living unapologetically lovely and happy lives, and are kind enough to actively involve themselves with my children (because they like children but particularly because they love me and care about things I care about). I've heard people pity them behind their back and been absolutely baffled - pity what?! They're having a marvelous time and are perfectly content!

Like several PPs on this thread, if my DH died I would probably actively remain single. I certainly wouldn't be dating any man who used porn so my pool would be pretty small to begin with(!) and I'd have no desire whatsoever to live with another man, or have him live with my children before they leave home.

But oh noes, the menz might be cross with us! Recant!

There are a lot of hyperbolic articles about that say things like "men are choosing AI girlfriends and it's ruining them

Yes.

While I feel somewhat sorry for the AI unit, men who are this much of a dead loss are better off ill treating robots than real women, and women are much better off living a happy independent life of their own.

So much of the modern male politics is a toddler in an adult body rage-screaming 'I want to do exactly what I want, all the time, and have nobody put boundaries around me or shame me when I know damn well I'm behaving very badly'. It's about wanting to have to make no effort, take no responsibility, treat others badly, and have no accountability or consequences for this, including any loss of social approval and social relationships. "I want to treat you like shit and you act like it's ok'.

Tough. A two year old fairly quickly figures out, biting makes people not want to play with you.

But really society needs to figure out what the heck we're doing raising boys that mean some of them get stranded emotionally at the toddler stage and fail to launch like this. And how society facilitates boys like this but not girls. I'm all for continuing to support girls to know: you do not have to settle for a partner who treats you badly or wants you to mummy him, you're entitled to the same great life he feels entitled to. And you can leave him to kick and smear poo on his sex robot at any time, and go and do something a lot more interesting with your life.

This is an interesting thread to read.

I am in my 50s. Most of my female friends are in relationships, but the majority of us aren't thinking we will remain in our relationships as we get closer to retirement.

Hardly any of the above group's female children (twenties and a few very early thirties) are in relationships. Most of them would like to be, but if/only if their partners tick a lot of boxes. Failing that, they'd rather stay single.

I don't think this is because they are uncompromising or idealistic, they just have a good understanding of what will benefit and what will undermine their quality of life.

I think their parent's' relationships have influenced them a lot in having this outlook and I have mixed feelings about that. I feel pleased that they have learned from their parents (what not to do) but sad that they haven't had more positive role models.

I think my generation of friends had fully subscribed to the notion of equality and women's rights. The trouble is, we sleep walked into relationships that resembled trad roles when we had children. We 'did it all' in order to sustain our careers, ensure our children's needs were met, and keep our relationships together. We didn't require the fathers of our children did their equal share, we did demand, ask, complain etc. but nothing changed and we didn't leave. Instead, we tried to keep the peace and make the home as happy as possible. Most have no or limited sex life with their partners and are not tactile or physically affectionate.

I expect my experiences aren't isolated. I imagine them to reflect a significant proportion of late 60s, early 70s born women. This, in turn, is likely to end up with lots of late 60s early 70s born men finding themselves single in later life and discovering that it turns out that they weren't doing 50% of everything after all and it's not the case that others just didn't notice what they did when they did it. They will also notice that they no longer have someone who asks them about and checks in on how 'the difficult meeting', 'the doctors appointment', 'the call with their sister' went - having provided a listening ear in the build up before hand. Meanwhile, the women will find themselves living much freer and easier single lives.