There has been quite a lot of in the past year how women are now choosing to stay single and they rather be alone. Are you actually seeing this in real life?

[ThisWillBeMyDay]

Also there is big talk how women won’t date just any man, women have standards and no woman now NEEDS a man.
I’m not really sure why they push these articles, often times they are total hyperbole too (apperently in 2030, 45% of women aged 25-44 are unmarried and childless. Like not being married and not having kids in your 20’s is even worth saying - nevermind a headline!)

To be clear, I support all of this. Being or staying long term, or whole life, single. Being childfree.
I personally am single and don’t want kids. So definitely not saying anything bad about these news and studies and what-not. I’m just not seeing it in real life.

That being said, I don’t really see this in the real world. Most women still want boyfriends/husbands. So many put with shit (biggest is porn watching, honestly can’t understand how any woman can stay and love a man like this) I could never.

And I’ve been looking for women to be friends with, who have something else than men in mind, they are HARD to find, impossible.
I don’t know one women who isin’t/doesn’t want a relationship and don’t do hook-up’s (sorry, but these women are often times worse than women in relationships, men take so much of their mental space).

Anyway, that was my linger than intented rant.
My question and point was: have you personally seen these ’women are walking away from men’ thing happening?

I find it interesting how many of the women I left school with are now living happy single lives. Some married briefly, and some of those have children, but the marriage didn't last long, and some just have never really bothered with relationships at all. Most with good jobs and university degrees, but not all. Wide friendship circles, hobbies.

If my DP left me or indeed, died tomorrow I genuinely don’t think I would rush to find another man. I have found that I really enjoy my own company and would quite enjoy being alone I think

Although many of the women I know are probably not in the age group you have in mind, being over 45, something which is noticeable amongst them is a keenness to stay single having had relationships earlier in their lives. I know one or two widows, quite a few divorced women and quite a few women who have never married.

Some did consider dating and tried out various websites and apps, but didn't enjoy the dates they went on and decided not to persevere.

One advantage most of the women I have in mind do have is that they live in London and find plenty of things to do which they enjoy when they are not at work; I can imagine that it doesn't feel the same for women who live in, say, rural areas.

Yes, I'm seeing this. Particularly with women aged 30 up. Most of my female friends are single.
I don't think though that it's a hard line around swearing off men.
Most, myself included, date every now and then, or have a fwb, but that's just for fun rather than looking for a long term commitment.
I'm in my mid forties and not particularly bothered about finding a serious relationship again. I do have a regular fwb and that suits me perfectly. I get great sex with all the benefits of being single and not beholden to anyone. My time is my own.
I think though that it's often about your friendship group whether this is visible or not. Couples do generally gravitate to couples, singles to singles. I do remember seeing a statistic recently that said people staying single had increased by around 10% in the last decade and I thought that was very interesting.

@LoudSnoringDog

I agree with you. I have a great husband, but if something were to happen, I would be happily single for the rest of my life.

I'm in London and definitely seeing it, especially amongst friends who can afford their own property.

From what I've seen of people I went to school with/maintained friendships with, online friendships etc - It's not so much a choice.
Some may say it is on surveys for example which is I assume where this data was probably gathered, but to their actual friends/family's it's rare for it to genuinely be a choice.
As for the amount?
I'd honestly say maybe like.. 50%
The push for the girl boss is thriving in my circles, not that many at all are having kids and we'll be hitting our 30's in a few years!

This, discussed on Radio 4 today, I think in the main midday news, is relevant:

https://newgroundcohousing.uk/

Im in my 50’s and surrounded by single women my age who have mostly been married or in a LTR, kids are grown and now can’t really imagine living with a man ever again.

We all work, socialise, go away for weekends and holidays with female friends and are really happy with our lives.

Most of us have dated but really found that men of our are either looking for younger women, want a replacement housewife or just after sex. There’s very little out there to tempt us into giving up our enjoyable single lives any time soon.

Yes, I am seeing it - I have friends in relationships but they seem to be decent relationships and I don’t think I know anyone who’d even let the feckless twatty men described on here past one date, let alone get into a relationship with them. I do know several women who are happily single and not dating, or are only dating casually and not interested in anything more. I only have one friend with kids and she’s 40. The younger ones are all childfree through a mixture of choice or not having met anyone worth procreating with. One is freezing eggs with a view to solo parenting. Also in London if that makes a difference (which I think it does)

I can’t think of a single reason to have another relationship.

I know people talk about companionship, but when my child is at her dad’s I just want some peace and quiet, I don’t think a relationship now would enhance that at all.

I can't say I really see this, but I also wonder about the statistics.

For example, I've always known a certain number of younger women who say that, but while some keep to that plan, a good proportion change their mind at some point. I don't think that's very unusual.

I do see some older women who had been married or attached who divorce or become widowed, who don't want another relationship. But I don't think that's necessary unusual either. And in many cases they had good relationships which they really valued. Some think finding someone else like their spouse would be difficult; for others there are too many complications with kids or money; some aren't that interested in sex and more maybe due to hormonal changes; some feel they are no longer flexible enough to accommodate a new partner.

I see both of those scenarios as live stage issues, rather than a big change in people overall.

I'm 53 single, not looking. I looked in my 40s and was treated badly a few times. Then I met somebody nice but he drank too much and I ended it as we are on different pages. Health is v important to me. If there were nice men who treated u well i might feel differently but have radically accepted singlehood. A great man might be nice, but being stuck with an awful one, no no no.

I know quite a few single women in 50s and 60s who are not interested in another relationship. There can come a point when you realise the disadvantages may well outweigh the advantages and don't want the disruption, and you are happy as you are. I'm sure most of them wouldn't turn away Mr Perfect if they tripped over him, but they're not that bothered. Most men just don't add a lot to your life.

I’m surprised how few of my close friendship group from school have children. Statistically most will have now missed the boat on that. More of them are single than not. Most seem incredibly happy and fulfilled though. Travelling, pursuing big careers and enjoying a life rich in friendships.

I am single by choice and have been for about 5 years now. No desire to have another relationship with a man. I certainly would never live with another man ever again

It’s purely anecdotal, but I personally know plenty of women in their 30s, 40s and 50s who, like me, are choosing to remain single rather than seek another partner after a long term relationship came to an end. That being said there are still plenty of other women/couples who think I must be terribly unhappy being single and keep trying to set me up on dates.

Good point @ThisWillBeMyDay Like you, I know very few single women - OR single men - who have never been in a relationship.. (Not over 25-26 anyway.) Most have been in a relationship. Many people I know are in one now. I know very few single people. (Over 25-26.) who have never been in a relationship

If many posters on mumsnet were to be believed, you would think that four out of five women in this country are single - and they are deliriously happy with it of course! Earn 100K a year in their big important professional job, and are living in a beautiful, elegant, three bedroom apartment in the city, and have a massive group of friends who are all highly educated and on fantastic salaries. And they have a different man every week for a shag. But won't settle down with them because no man is good enough for them.

In reality, single life for the majority of women (I'd say 26+) is actually quite difficult... Especially if they live alone. They don't have that many friends as many of their friends are coupled up. They don't earn a massive amount of money and they struggle badly financially. Most will not buy a house. A few will. Most won't, as they will never afford it. I know a number of single women who fight for more hours at work, to make ends meet. They have zero social life as they can't afford it. They are pretty miserable.

You see all the stories on here about couples (and sometimes families) struggling to make ends meet with 2 salaries, so obviously single women will struggle (and single men,) even more! Many single people can't afford to buy, so they rent ludicrously high private rent properties and barely have a penny left at the end of the month.

There's also quite a lot of single women who seem to be seeking a man ... Yes, it's fine to be single of course, but at the end of the day, a lot of them do eventually want a man/a companion/someone to share their life with, and their troubles and fears with, and their laughter and happiness and achievements. There's only so long, and so many times, that you can keep going to weddings, and nights out, and work events, and on holiday etc - on your own. Eventually (most) people do want to be with someone and have someone by their side.

I think you've got this kind of selection of women, who are probably middle aged and older who've been in long-term relationships, (often married for 20 or 30 years or more,) and after that relationship, they are more than happy to be single ... Because they've had children with the man (or not had children with them,) and spent a quarter century (or more than that) in that relationship. Then, they are more than happy to be on their own - for quite some time, if not forever.

But certainly I think the ones probably 27-28 to maybe 40s (and even in some cases 50s,) who have never had a serious long term relationship and never been married do want to meet someone, and be in a relationship. I think it's actually a myth that all single women are happy. That survey that was done (I don't know by who) that claimed single women are the happiest, followed by married men, followed by married women, is a load of shit. I bet they only interviewed 1000 people! It was a VERY biased 'survey!'

You've got happily single women, and happily married women. You've got miserable single women, and miserable married women. And you've got happily married men, and miserable married men. You've got happily single men, and miserable single men!

You aren't just automatically happy because you're single! And miserable because you're married. So I think it would go.....

The happiest are ... Happily single women, and happily married women, and happily married men, and happily single men. All happy, all equal. Life isn't perfect but for the most part they're happy!

Followed by not so happy single men, not so happy single women, not so happy married men, and not so happy married women!

There's far too many layers, and variables, and shades of grey, and different situations, and many different personalities in too many people, to say 'all single women are happier than married women.' It's narrow minded and it's a stupid thing to say. I never believed this dumb survey. And as has been said on threads before, this was done by people who promote being single as they best way to live!

Yes we seem to have more threads and posts on here where MARRIED women are moaning about their husband, than we do women moaning about being single. But THAT is because the vast majority of women are in relationships. Very few are single in comparison. So of COURSE the married women moany threads will be more!

I feel like some single women - and some single men, don't like to hear it that their married friends and colleagues etc are happily married. They can't accept it. Not sure whether it's because they don't believe people can be happily married. Or whether they are jealous. I think it's a bit of both. And with the 'single is best' chanters, it does seem like the lady doth protest too much.

I’m not seeing it but I am in an older age group. I have several older friends (50s and 60s) who are childless but they are all long-term married and they are not childless through choice.

I only have two single friends and they are in the same position as me ie single parents with lots of commitments who didn’t prioritise meeting a partner.

I am in a city, not London.

I'm 51. Virtually every woman I know of my own age group or older than 30 is married, mostly with kids. My younger female colleagues are pretty much all in stable relationships. I've onlh worked there a year and a bit. So that fits with your 'almost all women want a husband / boyfriend' point, but I never hear conversations about dating, and men do not seem to occupy these women's minds much!

I do from 50+ yeah

Under that I see people being happy to take long breaks - 2 years or so - from dating, but probably assuming they will get back in the game at some point.

I have walked away from all men (for now - young baby)

I am 'ready' emotionally to date as in im over my breakup with baby dad, but thinking of options out there at the moment in the dating world a fling or a new relationship doesn't seems like leaving the house for. I'd rather see friends etc and now I'm going to have fun if I have a babysitter!

So I think I'm temporarily in your camp at least (although you might not fancy talking about babies all day!)

Op do you live in a city or countryside ?

@ThisWillBeMyDay I think that you are missing the point all of these articles are trying to make.
The fact that almost half of all women are not having children is a societal disaster. We are left with an ever aging population and not enough young people to take up the burden of paying for and/or taking care of this ever increasing proportion of the population who are oaps.
Now there's a couple of ways that this population collapse can be averted such as incentives women to have more/any children with free/cheap childcare, tax breaks, improve maternity pay, extra pension contributions for mothers to name just a few.
Or they could look at the reasons that women are choosing not to have children or leaving it to late and as a society change how we treat women and mothers.
Instead they are doing nothing except pointing fingers at women and implying that we are to lazy, selfish, and/or vain to do our duty for our country by having babies like good little women. Which ironically has the effect of exasperating the situation especially when you add the 2 child benefit cap.
Basically what we have is a international issue of population decline in predominantly the Western world though China is ahead of the curve due to the 1 child policy (which has now been reversed but isn't helping). This happens when women have access to education and contraception, we have opportunities for a life that doesn't involve having multiple pregnancies which put us in an early grave.
Whilst with modern health care and the resulting fall in infant mortality rates this decrease in births doesn't necessarily cause a significant problem, however when it is linked with the male population not accepting the power shift and changing the way they treat women and how much of the childcare responsibilities they take on it results in terminal population decline. In countries where the men take on equal parenting responsibilities they don't have this issue (Norway, Sweden etc) and countries where almost all child rearing is done solely by the mothers the issue is exasperated (Italy, Spain etc).
This is why you're seeing so many articles about this, it's easier to blame and guilt trip/shame women than for men to take responsibility for their actions and change. So we can expect much more of the same.

The media has long been concerned with this issue: https://forreadingaddicts.co.uk/news/read-victorian-womens-snarky-responses-to-the-question-why-are-you-single/

The fact that almost half of all women are not having children is a societal disaster

In fairness I don't think it is almost half. The majority of women in their 20s are not having children but there's a substantial peak in the 30 age group. The bigger issue(?) In the UK is that women are having less children (later) rather than less women having children. Other countries (eg China) have a significant amount of women who never want children and the ones that do don't want more than one. So they are a bit fucked.