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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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13
Clymene · 13/08/2023 10:49

She's held events there for 4.5 years. The pub has been perfectly happy to host them. But now a couple of angry men have been told it's women only, they've set up a bullying and harassment campaign and got it closed down.

Shocking homophobia.

Blondebutnotlegally · 13/08/2023 11:08

I even find this difficult as a bi woman. (Pre marriage) I would happily have sex with men and women, but TW and TW I don't find sexually attractive. This feels a lot like subconscious bias though and I do feel guilty

Blondebutnotlegally · 13/08/2023 11:09

Sorry TW and TM

Fancylike · 13/08/2023 11:14

SamW98 · 12/08/2023 23:53

So what should be a nice fun evening for lesbians to chat and flirt has now been spoilt by selfish entitled men - sorry women with penises - who can’t possibly not be included in something hat has sweet fa to do with them.

Rhetorical question - does anyone think his would happen if there was a gay mens dating event? Would trans men be throwing their toys out the pram because homosexual men don’t want sex with people with vagina? Think we know the answer to that one

In my observations, most transmen are lesbians - mutilated ones - but still females interested in other females.

montecarlo7 · 13/08/2023 11:16

Blondebutnotlegally · 13/08/2023 11:08

I even find this difficult as a bi woman. (Pre marriage) I would happily have sex with men and women, but TW and TW I don't find sexually attractive. This feels a lot like subconscious bias though and I do feel guilty

Why? Don't feel guilty. We are allowed to be attracted to whoever we want, and we aren't obliged to be attracted to ppl we're not attracted to.

Grimchmas · 13/08/2023 11:17

@Blondebutnotlegally I'm bi and I'm not attracted to trans identifying people either.

We need to stop apologising for that. There's nothing wrong with having a preference.

Original poster
SamW98 · 13/08/2023 11:20

montecarlo7 · 13/08/2023 11:16

Why? Don't feel guilty. We are allowed to be attracted to whoever we want, and we aren't obliged to be attracted to ppl we're not attracted to.

Show quote history

Absolutely. I’m a straight woman but I have a certain physical type that makes me go ‘pwoar’ - we all have preferences and we don’t need to apologise for who we are attracted to.

OP posts:
Froodwithatowel · 13/08/2023 11:21

Sex is not something that female people are born with a duty to provide on a social justice system, training themselves to overcome their feelings while lying back and thinking of Stonewall.

Fgs.

Women are as entitled to enjoy sex as men are. And women should run a bloody mile from any prospective sexual partner of any sex or identity, where that partner is not fully interested in and caring about their consent, their pleasure, their equality in the relationship.

This is women being trained into abandoning their autonomy over their feelings and their bodies in order to service the wishes of male people, despite the fact that any male person wishing for this is dodgier than fuck and the kind of person Lundy Bancroft writes books about. Wake up ffs. Re read the pinned thread at the top of the relationships board: You deserve a loving partner who meets your needs equally and with enjoyment, being born female did not land you with a duty to take the shitty end of the stick so that those born male can fuck about without feeling bad about it.

Anxioys · 13/08/2023 11:22

Blondebutnotlegally · 13/08/2023 11:08

I even find this difficult as a bi woman. (Pre marriage) I would happily have sex with men and women, but TW and TW I don't find sexually attractive. This feels a lot like subconscious bias though and I do feel guilty

I think bi people get pressured to say they, because they like men and women, should accept trans people as sexual partners in way that is arguably just as bad as this issue of lesbians and trans women.

What you are attracted to is both biological sexes, and the difference. Trans people are making themselves something else, a simulacrum of the sex they want to be. That is appearance, not sexuality, and it does not come with all great things about biological sex. As human beings, we are attracted to biology, and that is just not only what you look like.

LilacSorbet · 13/08/2023 11:25

Stonegate have got an awful lot of pubs near us - I won't be going in them any more.

MavisMcMinty · 13/08/2023 11:28

I like psychological robustness in a partner (God knows they need to be to cope with me). I fancy confidence and cockiness, and cocks. I’m not attracted to victims, I couldn’t bear the self-absorption and whining, never mind the incongruent names and pronouns. It would be such hard work, and with what reward?

Boiledbeetle · 13/08/2023 11:29

Ofcourseshecan · 13/08/2023 09:10

Oh no. I’ve long ago stopped apologising for quoting the Mail on trans news. Now I fear I’m starting to love it …..

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You've got to give them credit for trying to get it into people's heads EXACTLY what is happening under the guise of 'be kind and inclusive'. I think they stopped being coy about it a long time ago now😁

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 13/08/2023 11:36

Anxioys · 13/08/2023 11:22

I think bi people get pressured to say they, because they like men and women, should accept trans people as sexual partners in way that is arguably just as bad as this issue of lesbians and trans women.

What you are attracted to is both biological sexes, and the difference. Trans people are making themselves something else, a simulacrum of the sex they want to be. That is appearance, not sexuality, and it does not come with all great things about biological sex. As human beings, we are attracted to biology, and that is just not only what you look like.

Show quote history

I'd do damage to Harry Styles in a dress, Harry Styles in a dress pretending to be a woman, absolutely not.
Big difference.

BernardSure · 13/08/2023 11:43

So just found this linked tweet https://twitter.com/Sorelle_Arduino/status/1690657947737616384

"#DavidMcDowall heads up @Stonegate_Group who have just cancelled a lesbian dating event for being female only, he was Group Ops Director of G1 which installed two way mirrors in the women’s loos allowing men in private rooms to leer"

https://twitter.com/Sorelle_Arduino/status/1690657947737616384

Ereshkigalangcleg · 13/08/2023 11:45

Oh god, I remember that.

SabrinaThwaite · 13/08/2023 11:46

Pony pride flag? Say what now?

The comment someone has left on the Wikimedia commons page sums it up nicely though: Hallo this shizzle is a bit strange

I’m not sure I want to Google any further though Confused

bellac11 · 13/08/2023 11:46

OwningAllMyMistakes · 13/08/2023 07:20

I would add that from little knowledge and experience I have of transmen gay men wouldn’t be put off by a trans man with a vagina.

Show quote history

Well as a straight woman, I would be 100% not attracted to someone who was a woman despite their believe that they are a man. Even if they had reconstructive surgery of sorts, they would stil be a woman to me.

Not my cup of tea

Boiledbeetle · 13/08/2023 11:46

Blondebutnotlegally · 13/08/2023 11:08

I even find this difficult as a bi woman. (Pre marriage) I would happily have sex with men and women, but TW and TW I don't find sexually attractive. This feels a lot like subconscious bias though and I do feel guilty

You have nothing, NOTHING to feel guilty about. You are attracted to who you are attracted to and nothing can change that.

I'm attracted to men, but certain men make my flesh crawl. Sometimes I couldn't tell you why, but I'm not going to ignore that feeling in order to placate someone. And I'm sure as hell not going to apologise for it or feel guilty.

It just is what it is. You either feel the spark towards someone or you don't. No need to overthink it!

Original poster
SamW98 · 13/08/2023 11:50

Article been updated snd now includes this line

They also accused her of being transphobic for saying that 'lesbians don't have penises'.

So in their entitled self obsessed brains stating actual facts is transphobic?

OP posts:
FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 13/08/2023 11:57

Blondebutnotlegally · 13/08/2023 11:08

I even find this difficult as a bi woman. (Pre marriage) I would happily have sex with men and women, but TW and TW I don't find sexually attractive. This feels a lot like subconscious bias though and I do feel guilty

I'm heterosexual and I like men who are unashamably men, I prefer them hairy, tattooed and tall. Metrosexual or effeminate men do absolutely nothing for me. I feel no shame about that, it's what I like. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with gender non conforming men, it just means that I don't find them in anyway sexually appealing.

I would never consider having sex with a Trans Man because I do not find the idea of having sex with someone with a vagina and vulva sexually arousing and I do not think it is acceptable to coerce people into 'reframing their sexuality'. Telling women to 'just try it, you might like it' is the kind of Homophobic conversion therapy awfulness that we have all condemned for decades.

Gilmorehill · 13/08/2023 11:59

Froodwithatowel · 13/08/2023 11:21

Sex is not something that female people are born with a duty to provide on a social justice system, training themselves to overcome their feelings while lying back and thinking of Stonewall.

Fgs.

Women are as entitled to enjoy sex as men are. And women should run a bloody mile from any prospective sexual partner of any sex or identity, where that partner is not fully interested in and caring about their consent, their pleasure, their equality in the relationship.

This is women being trained into abandoning their autonomy over their feelings and their bodies in order to service the wishes of male people, despite the fact that any male person wishing for this is dodgier than fuck and the kind of person Lundy Bancroft writes books about. Wake up ffs. Re read the pinned thread at the top of the relationships board: You deserve a loving partner who meets your needs equally and with enjoyment, being born female did not land you with a duty to take the shitty end of the stick so that those born male can fuck about without feeling bad about it.

Exactly this. After reading this report, I would no longer be afraid to be called transphobic. Standing up for the rights of women to decide who they have sex is far too important.

YouJustDoYou · 13/08/2023 12:07

SamW98 · 13/08/2023 11:50

Article been updated snd now includes this line

They also accused her of being transphobic for saying that 'lesbians don't have penises'.

So in their entitled self obsessed brains stating actual facts is transphobic?

"Lesbians don't have penises"
"Transphobe! Bigot!".
"Calling people names still won't make lesbians want your penis".

MajesticWhine · 13/08/2023 12:08

If this leads to a court case to establish that single sex dating preferences are lawful then I think it would be a good thing. I would support it. It would test the equality act to find out if it is fit for purpose.

ArabeIIaScott · 13/08/2023 12:09

'I would happily have sex with men and women, but TW and TW I don't find sexually attractive. This feels a lot like subconscious bias though and I do feel guilty'

Sexual preference or orientation is a kind of bias that is perfectly permissible and normal to have. Nobody is obliged to feel attracted to anybody else. Ever.

Froodwithatowel · 13/08/2023 12:12

YouJustDoYou · 13/08/2023 12:07

"Lesbians don't have penises"
"Transphobe! Bigot!".
"Calling people names still won't make lesbians want your penis".

Show quote history

Woman, validate my personal immersive fiction with your body or I shall call you names!

Crack on, mate. You seem under a strange impression I'm going to be in some way upset by this....

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