If you're non-binary...

[danyellspanyell]

What does it mean? What does it mean to you?

I'm not looking for GC responses to this - the GC take is obvious. I genuinely want to understand what this means.

This came up on my Instagram and the comments were full of people saying they have the same struggle and I honestly can't get my head round what it actually means to be non-binary, particularly if you're happy 'presenting' as a woman (which you biologically are).

What material impact does this non-binary-ness have on your life?

I play a team contact sport where teams and competitions are increasingly being labeled for 'women and non-binary people'. That means I could end up facing biological males. In a contact sport. That's why it matters to me.

@Truthlikeness that's a bloody travesty.

It's already happened with transwomen. For raising concerns about safety and fairness I was kicked out and branded a bigot.

For goodness sake! I am really sorry that happened.

'@BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn
it has no impact on your life whatsoever

That's the thing, though, isn't it? If it actually has no impact on my life then (largely, see below) I don't care -people can of course dress how they like and call themselves anything they want. I'll probably roll my eyes, but I do that at a lot of people for all sorts of reasons. But they don't get to make demands on me because of it. If they want special treatment, special pronouns, special laws - these do affect me.

And regardless of the impact on me, I care if it harms children. Physical harm from the nonsense of medical and surgical 'treatments' to somehow 'align with' a non-binary identity. Psychological harm from damaging their understanding of the world, of reality, of their place in that. There's no reason why 'feeling non-binary should cause these harms, but increasingly it does seem to do so.'

You are showing what is really bothering you here...

Someone describing themselves as non-binary does not equate to them being trans or planning to transition.

It simply means someone does not feel like they should conform to traditional binary beliefs about gender (ie that all individuals are exclusively either male or female).

I will repeat that someone deciding to use they/them as pronouns, I assume that is what you are referring to, has zero negative effect on your life. Just like someone being gay has zero impact on your life.

You cannot police how people want to present and define themselves.

It is also bizarre that you think that the simple fact that someone considers themselves non-binary would ''harm children''.

It is simply about learning to respect other people and their difference. It saddens me when I read this type of nonsense.

It is literally the type of ignorant arguments that used to be thrown at gay people a couple of decades ago (potential harm to children) and now it seems the same ignorance is happily being applied to other minority groups.

It simply means someone does not feel like they should conform to traditional binary beliefs about gender (ie that all individuals are exclusively either male or female)
You are conflating sex - real and immutable - and gender - made up stereotypes with no basis in reality.

No one has to acknowledge and accept the gender stereotypes, but those who claim to be nonbinary are enhancing them by then trying to opt out of them.

I will repeat that someone deciding to use they/them as pronouns, I assume that is what you are referring to, has zero negative effect on your life It's compelled thought and speech, and it has a massive impact on others' lives.

It is also bizarre that you think that the simple fact that someone considers themselves non-binary would ''harm children''
Not only does reinforcing stereotypes do no favours for anyone, but the lie that "I don't feel female/male" is not a message to be shared with children, let alone adults.

Don't want to adhere to gender gubbins? Fine, you don't have to. Does that mean you can ignore the reality of your (in this case) female sexed body? Not a chance. That and everything that goes with it will be yours until your last breath. Far better to work at dismantling the ridiculous gender woo that's had negative impacts on women for far too long.

@Greenwitchhorse of course the concept harms children. Note 'the concept' not 'the person'. Reinforcing sterotypes is harmful. Denying reality is harmful. Obfuscating science is harmful. Encouraging self-obsession is harmful.

And that's before you get to the fact that some surgeons offer 'non-binary' surgeries and some doctors suggest puberty blockers or cross-sex hormones. That is - I think, and hope - rare, but even 1 case is too many.

And I was obviously referring to pronouns when I said pronouns - and that is an imposition on me of additional cognitive load. But the rest of the sentence is not just about pronouns. It's about things like campaigns for additional non-binary categories in sports, or for non-binary people to play in the sex category of their choice. It's about demands for non-binary options in the 'sex' field of official documents. Small demands and large ones that disadvantage women either directly or indirectly, take up legislative and administrative time that could be spent on something important, and generally clog up society.