Page 6 | ‘Bonus hole’

bblackmirror · 2023-06-29T20:40:03+00:00

So I can’t believe this is real but it seems to be. What do we make of Jo’s cervical trust a cancer charity who has an LGBT inclusive language page on their website suggesting another word for a vagina is a bonus hole!! Absolutely awful.

FrancescaContini · 30/06/2023 07:26

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 30/06/2023 00:33

Many women will have had men refer to their genitals in dehumanising terms like this.

And frequently in abusive or harassing or otherwise misogynist contexts.

"You were just a hole to poke" -- an ex-bf.

"A warm wet hole" is how MRAs and their ilk refer to women. "Pump and dump" is a similar charming phrase.

This is not how a charity set up to support women at their most scared should refer to our bodies.

Jesus Christ

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 30/06/2023 07:29

And would this courtesy be extended to me if say I wanted them to refer to my vagina as the word I used for it when I was 6? Because as a victim of several sexual assaults in life I've had moments where I've very much wanted to crawl out of my female sexed body too.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 30/06/2023 07:30

Nomorenonbinary · 29/06/2023 23:08

To be fair it does say it's language to be used with trans men and non binary people. It doesn't say it must be used for all women.

That may be but this adult human female finds using that word at all highly unprofessional and disrespectful.

But I'm a boring old woman so my feelings don't matter apparently

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 30/06/2023 07:32

Delphinium20 · 29/06/2023 23:25

*But it may be very helpful if you're dealing with a woman who has transitioned and who has cancer.

Using a sick and vulnerable trans man (woman) to make a point and by doing so upsetting them would be a rather low point if you were a cancer nurse.*

No one should be cruel to a transman going through cancer. But, that doesn't change the fact that this language is infantilizing. Like when adults with developmental disabilities are spoken to using baby talk or childish wording. I.e. "Do you need to pee pee?"

This

Nomorenonbinary · 30/06/2023 07:34

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 30/06/2023 07:30

That may be but this adult human female finds using that word at all highly unprofessional and disrespectful.

But I'm a boring old woman so my feelings don't matter apparently

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But they wouldn't be using them with you.

ArabeIIaScott · 30/06/2023 07:39

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 30/06/2023 07:30

That may be but this adult human female finds using that word at all highly unprofessional and disrespectful.

But I'm a boring old woman so my feelings don't matter apparently

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Sorry, Langship. Only the feelings of the special people count.

MassiveWordSalad · 30/06/2023 07:50

Next visit to the gynaecologist I might insist on using the word cunt. It's an unambiguous term that's been around for thousands of years and it doesn't matter if anyone else is offended, as long as I'm happy, right?

PonyPatter44 · 30/06/2023 07:55

Nomorenonbinary · 30/06/2023 07:34

But they wouldn't be using them with you.

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But how will they know who to use the nursery school words with? Thank god, I've not had cancer, but if I did and I was going for treatment, I would NOT be reassured by an apparent professional saying, "I'm just going to put this in your foo-foo / tuppence / bonus hole". In fact, I'd think they had learning disabilities or were getting some sort of kick out of it, and that's not what I expect from medical professionals.

Nomorenonbinary · 30/06/2023 07:56

MassiveWordSalad · 30/06/2023 07:50

Next visit to the gynaecologist I might insist on using the word cunt. It's an unambiguous term that's been around for thousands of years and it doesn't matter if anyone else is offended, as long as I'm happy, right?

I'm pretty sure they would be fine with that. They are taught to use what people are comfortable with.

ArabeIIaScott · 30/06/2023 07:56

This isn't about helping women who use the word 'bonus hole'. This is a cynical and sinister piece of propaganda that is elevating an offensive sexual slang term to the status of 'alternative definition'.

It's not been written for transmen, although that's the alleged audience.

We are the intended audience. This is a.calculated 'fuck you' to women.

Helleofabore · 30/06/2023 08:04

What other group of people who use words that reflect the hatred they have to their body are catered for like this?

And now we are simultaneously told that this group demand use of phrases such as vagina havers, vulva owners and people with cervixes yet cannot even acknowledge they have those body parts. Which is it? Or, do those who use ‘bonus hole’ realise that if they insisted on the language being ‘bonus hole havers’ that the world’s population would think very differently about using even the current dehumanising language?

Imagine that. International ‘bonus hole havers’ Day - 8 th March 2024.

So, please tell me what other groups that have dehumanising words for their reproductive body parts do medical organisations use those dehumanising words in their communications for?

Or has it become clear that rather than the continuous affirming actions being taken, that if people have to disassociate with the names of body parts to function in everyday life, maybe mental health support needs to be stronger to allow them to cope with understanding the realities of their body. And that dehumanising those body parts doesn’t make them go away, just as dehumanising women to correctly named body parts doesn’t mean a female changes sex in any way.

Summer2023hasarrived · 30/06/2023 08:12

Hidden away on the MN threads that many don't visit again. Creeping changes whilst lots of women and men say it doesn't concern them.

I'm pleased when things are posted on main threads since at least more of the general population might read it then. Sad that things are hidden away on a thread predominately for mums!

Moonandstarzz · 30/06/2023 08:12

MassiveWordSalad · 30/06/2023 07:50

Next visit to the gynaecologist I might insist on using the word cunt. It's an unambiguous term that's been around for thousands of years and it doesn't matter if anyone else is offended, as long as I'm happy, right?

Give it a year or two & we many be reading that in the marketing.. Not much worse than bonus hole imo.

Moonandstarzz · 30/06/2023 08:13

Summer2023hasarrived · 30/06/2023 08:12

Hidden away on the MN threads that many don't visit again. Creeping changes whilst lots of women and men say it doesn't concern them.

I'm pleased when things are posted on main threads since at least more of the general population might read it then. Sad that things are hidden away on a thread predominately for mums!

Yes the mums over on aibu might want to vote on the "bonus hole"!

DrBlackbird · 30/06/2023 08:13

MassiveWordSalad · 30/06/2023 07:50

Next visit to the gynaecologist I might insist on using the word cunt. It's an unambiguous term that's been around for thousands of years and it doesn't matter if anyone else is offended, as long as I'm happy, right?

😂

Flickersy · 30/06/2023 08:15

PonyPatter44 · 30/06/2023 07:55

But how will they know who to use the nursery school words with? Thank god, I've not had cancer, but if I did and I was going for treatment, I would NOT be reassured by an apparent professional saying, "I'm just going to put this in your foo-foo / tuppence / bonus hole". In fact, I'd think they had learning disabilities or were getting some sort of kick out of it, and that's not what I expect from medical professionals.

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It says in the glossary multiple times: "check what language your patient is comfortable with".

But apparently no-one on here has actually read it.

cuckyplunt · 30/06/2023 08:15

It’s a vagina, it has a vulva and it’s connected via my cervix to a uterus?
Please can someone explain why anyone thinks that we need new words, I genuinely don’t understand.. ?

Flickersy · 30/06/2023 08:16

Helleofabore · 30/06/2023 08:04

What other group of people who use words that reflect the hatred they have to their body are catered for like this?

And now we are simultaneously told that this group demand use of phrases such as vagina havers, vulva owners and people with cervixes yet cannot even acknowledge they have those body parts. Which is it? Or, do those who use ‘bonus hole’ realise that if they insisted on the language being ‘bonus hole havers’ that the world’s population would think very differently about using even the current dehumanising language?

Imagine that. International ‘bonus hole havers’ Day - 8 th March 2024.

So, please tell me what other groups that have dehumanising words for their reproductive body parts do medical organisations use those dehumanising words in their communications for?

Or has it become clear that rather than the continuous affirming actions being taken, that if people have to disassociate with the names of body parts to function in everyday life, maybe mental health support needs to be stronger to allow them to cope with understanding the realities of their body. And that dehumanising those body parts doesn’t make them go away, just as dehumanising women to correctly named body parts doesn’t mean a female changes sex in any way.

I don't disagree.

But it's not within the remit of a cervical cancer charity to fix all that.

What they are concerned with is making sure women (all women, including trans men) receive treatment and compassionate care.

Summerskies2023 · 30/06/2023 08:30

Ugh wtf

meowgender · 30/06/2023 08:31

It's a horrible term to use but isn't this page just to inform health professionals on what words they might encounter from patients in a clinical setting?

The page says this before the list of terms:

This glossary explains some of the words we use in our information or that you might hear used by a patient.

I can see why women who deny they're women would invent these absurd euphemisms to avoid talking directly about the parts of their body that unequivocally show they are women.

literallyarabbit · 30/06/2023 08:31

Transmen know they have a vagina...

Calling a vagina, a bonus hole is not compassionate, it is offensive. And besides, a vagina is so much more than a whole anyway.

A cervical cancer charity has a responsibility to use simplistic and accurate language. Bonus hole is not it.

Flickersy · 30/06/2023 08:32

literallyarabbit · 30/06/2023 08:31

Transmen know they have a vagina...

Calling a vagina, a bonus hole is not compassionate, it is offensive. And besides, a vagina is so much more than a whole anyway.

A cervical cancer charity has a responsibility to use simplistic and accurate language. Bonus hole is not it.

It's offensive to you. It may not be offensive to a trans man and they may well use the term to describe their own bodies.

I don't agree with it, but they have the right to talk about their own bodies using the terms they wish.

Helleofabore · 30/06/2023 08:34

“But it's not within the remit of a cervical cancer charity to fix all that.”

It is their remit to discuss women’s bodies in a way that respects their dignity though. And to educate women about their body’s processes and their body’s needs.

This dichotomy of forcing ‘vagina havers’ onto women as well as ‘bonus hole havers’ is showing the cracks in this movement.

It is bad enough that in one survey less than half the women surveyed actually knew they had a cervix. Now communications have to be stripped of so many facts so some people who have been told by their support groups that they never should have to face their body’s reality can take in the not factual information that remains ambiguous because they cannot use the medical terms for their body parts.

And this is being celebrated as being ‘joy’?

Where is the dignity and educational value in using ‘bonus hole’?

Flickersy · 30/06/2023 08:37

Helleofabore · 30/06/2023 08:34

“But it's not within the remit of a cervical cancer charity to fix all that.”

It is their remit to discuss women’s bodies in a way that respects their dignity though. And to educate women about their body’s processes and their body’s needs.

This dichotomy of forcing ‘vagina havers’ onto women as well as ‘bonus hole havers’ is showing the cracks in this movement.

It is bad enough that in one survey less than half the women surveyed actually knew they had a cervix. Now communications have to be stripped of so many facts so some people who have been told by their support groups that they never should have to face their body’s reality can take in the not factual information that remains ambiguous because they cannot use the medical terms for their body parts.

And this is being celebrated as being ‘joy’?

Where is the dignity and educational value in using ‘bonus hole’?

Is it being celebrated as "joy"? I didn't see that on the glossary page. Neither did I see "vagina havers" but I'm happy to be corrected if I missed it.

It may respect a trans man's dignity to use language they are comfortable with.

Once again, I don't like the phrase "bonus hole". That doesn't mean I'm completely unaware that some women (trans men) may use it about themselves and that care providers - especially intimate care providers - need to be aware of that.

ArcaneWireless · 30/06/2023 08:38

I’m certain that no woman would walk into the surgery and go ‘I’ve a lump in my funbag’.

I’m also certain that no woman would be happy if the doctor referred to a funbag or bonus hole mid examination either.

It is of course hugely important to make a patient feel at ease but this does not mean resorting to (as mentioned before) infantile yet sexualised words.

I don’t think many doctors would feel comfortable using these terms either. It is important for them to be happy with the terminology too.