Declining to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature

[HowDoIGetThisThingOff]

It's finally happened, I've been "told" to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature at work.

I've emailed back saying my preference is that I don't do this. But I'm feeling a bit anxious 😬.

Please can I get some advice on what to say if they come back with questions or pressure to comply?

It's nothing about being ashamed of being a women

But i would be ashamed to be accepting of the gender of woman

It would be a betrayal of all my parents taught me about gender - how it shouldn't define me

Why should we normalise something that makes it easier to discriminate against women ?

Fur/Furself would be fun. If we're respecting identities and all.

This is a new thing to me (and unheard of where I work) I just put my first name in my emails at work when I sign them.

How does it even work? Does someone put Mary(she/her) in case people get mixed up?

Flummoxed

Made me laugh out loud😂

It would better for everyone if we could stick with the status quo of not trying to exert complete control over how others perceive us and speak about us instead of normalising compelled speech to pacify people who are delusional and want the rest of us to enter into their delusion with them whether we like it or not.

No need for anyone to announce pronouns, just accept how others perceive your sex is up to them and not you.

But I don't want to normalise stating pronouns. I am not an ally. And the law now allows me not to be an ally.

But preferred pronouns are a sure fire way to show everyone how special you are! You are instructing them, in writing, how they should refer to you even if they're talking about you on the other side of the world. Because we should be able to control other people's language to fit in with our personal whims, right? I'm being sarcastic, obviously.

It's like saying my preferred adjectives are "beautiful" and "rich" and ANYONE talking about me must address me as "beautiful and rich bofski14".

It's embarrassing.

Women are known to be at a disadvantage in most workplaces so quite honestly why would I highlight the fact I’m a woman. Happy for the email recipient to assume I’m male, so long as they respond I really don’t care about their view of me.

we added pronouns to email forests and one of the exec team (highly intelligent female dr) said loudly across the office “er teenlife, wtf? I’m not doing that!” I laughed and said “same here!”

Don't be so bloody disingenuous.

I get that people don't want to be forced into saying things, and agree it's not on. People get stressed when they lie, so forcing them to lie is affecting their physiology. But, I like my colleagues. If saying my pronouns makes them feel better about saying theirs, it is not a big deal for me. But if it's a big deal for you, you shouldn't have to.

I have a gender neutral name.
I work in a sector where women are routinely discriminated and disadvantaged.
I'm happy for people to make whatever assumptions they like but I don't need to advertise that I'm a woman.

People will realise I'm a woman when they meet me but initially I'm happy to them to treat me without bias

LOL. Self-respect is the only one that matters to DH, and its entirely watertight.

I completely disagree with the whole ‘be an ally’ stance.

I am not here to prop up someone else’s belief that they can be another sex, because you cannot be another sex.

Being an ‘ally’ has been conflated with upholding people’s rights and against discrimination. It is the opposite of this in my view. It is saying that having your own beliefs, which are not discriminatory (such as believing that facts such as biological sex are indeed facts), is wrong. It’s unhealthy for society to be dictating other people’s beliefs that are not harming others.

I am brown with a name no one can pronounce and which does not identify my gender. I don't feel the need to add that I am a brown woman on top of that.

I would say I’m not comfortable and that there are many protected characteristics in the Equality Act 2010 and it would not be helpful for everyone to put political statements, religious slogans and sexual preferences in our email signatures so why put pronouns (which signify a belief system that puts rapists in women’s prisons and surgically alters mentally unwell people). I would say it very politely (although would be ranting inside).

But, I like my colleagues. If saying my pronouns makes them feel better about saying theirs, it is not a big deal for me.

What are the implications of a male colleague saying "her" pronouns?

Does everyone have to accept that "she" is a woman? Female? Uses the ladies'?

If you also state your "pronouns" are you signalling that you're ok with all this?

Its not just pronouns, is it?

Well, it does make sense to me if you're called Lesley, Alex or Billy etc AND fed up with being addressed incorrectly. So for those people it's probably great to preempt it rather than having to correct people (provided you feel that strongly about it)
But if you don't care or have a name where it's pretty obvious already then surely there is nothing to be gained from it.

Meant "your" pronouns not your "pronouns".

Anyway...

I'm seeing it more and more at work (NHS) thankfully haven't been asked to do it, if we were I would just ignore it as I think I'd feel more comfortable putting my age and marital status! If someone puts they/them I make a mental note that's how they like to be referred to (or talked about!) - but the he/his's and the she/her's from the heteros are just woke bandwagon embarrassing. It's a work email! It's about the work not about you! Don't tend to see it from the Drs and Profs!

Excellent point

@HipTightOnions I think, as long as you are not being offensive to the male colleague, you can believe what you want. Our toilets are single unit unisex, so not an issue where I work. Also the trans people I work with are trans men and non binary, so not an issue either. I can care for people without agreeing with everything they say, as can we all.

Have you seen the episode of Atlanta where a black guy identifies as a white guy? It's great.

Exactly.

I don’t think I’ll get this request at work, but if I did I would reply along the lines of:

“I don’t agree with the normalisation of declaring preferred pronouns”

Then I’d add this to my email signature:

No preferred pronouns, please use the ones you feel are most appropriate.