Late to this, but I had what would now be diagnosed as gender dysphoria as a child.
Even as young as being a toddler I wouldn’t accept anything in my hair.
From 6 I had a boy’s name chosen.
My teen years were awful, I was bullied throughout school, I didn’t fit in.
I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin until I was pregnant in my mid twenties.
Difference is, I grew up in the 70s and 80s. Gendered toys didn’t really exist. Gendered clothes went so far as school uniform and party clothes, everything else was very similar.
I chose to have short hair, as did many of my female peers. A couple of girls would have bum length hair, but that was not the norm.
Shoulder length hair was considered long.
I had no internet, my preference for my brother’s cast offs, “boy” shoes and pyjamas, were never even noticed, it wasn’t on any radar to be unusual. My favourite fictional character was George from The Famous Five - she had a dog and did adventurous things, unlike Anne, who was the mother of the group.
Whilst gender roles existed, no one batted an eyelid at those who didn’t conform - maybe sadly the boys didn’t have as much freedom in their childhood.
Fast forward to now, anyone with gender dysphoria can access pro-ana-esque support from any number of social media sites, many children have unsupervised and unlimited access to these sites. Many of these so called support sites are run by deeply dodgy adult men.
Gender roles are very much the thing, and if a child wishes to deviate from this it appears to
confuse other children who then assume they are trans.
All girls have very long hair, none have hair cut above their shoulder blades.
I know a few children affected by this, all autistic.
1 is a teenage boy who likes his hair long, and is gay. He was bullied for this at his very naice school until he told them all he was trans, he didn’t make any changes, he didn’t do pronouns, but just declaring he was trans made two things happen - school finally stepped up and put a stop to the bullying, and his classmates started to accept him - why they couldn’t accept him as a long haired gay young man is beyond me. He’s not trans, but was savvy enough to see the situation for what it is and use it to his advantage.
2 has now desisted and has changed schools in order to do so. After years of behavioural issues that went ignored, she decided at 10 that she was actually a boy, and the family could immediately access help. Parents then allowed her to have her hair cut and stop wearing frilly dresses (would not allow this before that point). She displayed some very concerning behaviour at school that should have been flagged up as safeguarding issues, but as she was trans the school (on the advice of GIDS) put it down to “him exploring his sexuality” (at age 12??).
3 is the 9 year old girl whose circumstances point to neglect and being groomed by an older girl into the ways of self harm and gender. She has announced she is a boy. Mother is thrilled as she’d always wanted a boy.
As I said, all autistic.
I think it’s the Tavistock that identified that only 2.25% of transitioning children had no underlying issues - autism, neglect, abuse, mental health problems, backed up by the numbers of looked after girls in Blackpool area transitioning.
So I don’t believe any child can naturally, organically be trans. They can have their preferences, and what should happen is that parents should accept them for who they are, and protect them from intervention that leaves many with life changing side effects, and leads to irreversible surgery.
Someone at some point in the child’s life has agreed that they can change sex. Which is ludicrous.
I was brought up knowing that if I wanted short hair that was fine. If I wanted to play toy farms, that’s what I played with. Although I preferred to be thought of as a boy, the adults in my life sensibly didn’t validate that.
As an adult I have children, I breastfed them all, I’ll maybe have grandchildren one day, I can enjoy sex, there is no pretence that the female medical issues I will go through are anything but female issues. I’m happy enough in my own skin to not care what others think, and to not be triggered by their opinions of me. I was diagnosed autistic as an adult, which gave me an opportunity to look at my past with a sympathetic eye and have an understanding of my teen years, and to breathe a huge sigh of relief that I did them 30+ years ago.
I feel so sorry for this generation of vulnerable teens, particularly the girls. They have been brought up to think that they are hated, not accepted (a lot of this thanks to Mermaids and online communities). They don’t have the freedom to grow from their experiences, to naturally grow out of this predictable self hating stage, or be supported to be whoever they want to be without having to adhere to pathetic gender stereotypes.
I hope one day every single adult who has validated this nonsense, whether they are teachers, doctors, parents, mental health workers, will realise what they’ve done, see what they’ve been complicit in, and issue apologies all Roy d to the huge number of vulnerable girls damaged by this.