Controversial but curious.....

[JBEM4]

I'm fully aware I'm putting myself in a position whereby I'm going to be massively offended by some replies to this but I hope that they can at least be respectful.

I'm not sure what the point of my very long essay is but I do hope that I can at least make just one person be more open minded and realise that discrimination of any form is a choice and an unnecessary at that.

Here goes.....

I have a trans son (19). He started his journey aged 13. It was a natural and organic transition and I, as everyone who knows him, expected it.

He's done 3 years of counselling with a clinical psychologist (monthly), has never questioned who he is not even for a second and is finally starting testosterone this month that will (he hopes) give him facial hair, give him a more masculine appearance and deepen his voice. For context, if you met him today you wouldn't know he was trans.

Fortunately FTM individuals don't seem to attract a fraction of the hostility, outrage and offence that MTF people do - why is that?

I do try to understand others opinions but for the life of me can't fathom how/why people feel qualified and entitled enough to be so personally offended, judgemental, ignorant and vocal in their views that the trans community aren't worthy of respect let alone basic human rights.

No one chooses to be trans and those who are brave enough to transition do so because being at peace with themselves and living THEIR best life is more important to them despite the adversity, discrimination and abuse they'll receive from society.

My son is my son. His genitals do not define him. As parents we fight for our kids, for their right to have support, opportunities and advantages in life.. Parents will take on the whole damn system to get an autism diagnosis for their child because as a parent YOU know your child needs the right support and all that the health system can offer so your child can live their life and be the best they can be......

Why are trans kids/adults any different?
I've been accused of abusing my child, grooming my child, been told that he needs psychiatric help, he'll grow out of it, and that he doesn't have the right to live his life as he needs to.

These are comments that no one is brave enough to say to my face.

Not understanding what it is to be trans, not having experiences, contact or relationships with someone who's trans does not afford anyone the right to decide/debate on their existence. Being so absolute in opposition/denial/disgust of how another person lives their life while having zero impact on anyone else's.

So come at me. Please tell me how a trans person has personally offended you or negatively impacted your life and why a human beings value can't be based on their character and whether they're simply just a good person?

*not "agreeing" with being trans isn't a valid excuse.....

It's just wild hearing people who believe sex is assigned at birth and want us all to join them in chanting "trans women are women, no debate" accusing others of being indoctrinated.

I don't agree
Read this
Boys are also getting dragged under.
https://quillette.com/tag/when-sons-become-daughters/

Have you asked yourself OP, where the missing cohort of transmen older than your child are?

Many of us posting here are women who would have likely transitioned had it been well publicised, popular and socially approved when we were in our teens and twenties.

We are the proof there are options for living a 'best life' in ways that don't strictly confirm to stereotypes and avoid surgery and medication.

@ReunitedThorns you are incorrect about a lot of posters on here. Many are concerned about rapid onset gender dysphoria in male and female teenagers. The push to medicalise early and set them on a path that has long term health implications and can box them into taking the next step is a concern for a lot of posters.

Maybe the same way we stop all sexual assaults- by keeping them illegal and punishing the men who commit these evil crimes and not a trans person trying to pee? As a society we need to fix the root of the problem.

But meanwhile, one important way we minimise them is keeping male people out of women's spaces.

Those sex crimes that have such a high conviction rate you mean?

Presumably you don’t wear a seatbelt in a car or lock your front door when you’re out either. After all, if you get burgled you can just report it.

And what about all the other reasons why women (actual women) want and need spaces away from males that have nothing to do with actually being sexually violated?

Are you being obtuse or wilfully blind? Try harder.

And 💐to @Redbird87

Your story matters and I hope you’re in a happier place now. Courage calls to courage.

No parents here are going to agree with your assessment.

Rage about people is not what is happening, we are discussing an extremely damaging cultural phenomenon.

Outside of serious illness what human condition needs this amount of resources?
From a generation that has equality and sustainability as a core value how can you square the Idea that a single normal human, one of 8 billion humans, needs half a million dollars spent on them to function?

This is not a sustainable way to be human.

I personally think you need to start being the parent and the adult in the room. That probably answers your thread title. I suspect she hasn't heard many hard no's in her short life. 10 years ago was probably a good time to start, but now is the next best time. Because you can't change sex. 'Hard lines, tough cheese' as my dad would say.

When I say half a million dollars I am actually quoting female surgery patients in the USA who are undergoing many many procedures. They add it up and post it online.

How can a generation of young people actually justify this?

Tell me how?

Do we know what causes people to be trans, or know exactly what it is? No.

Yes we do.

Redbird

I'm really sorry to read of your awful experience. You have all my sympathy and best wishes.

Please link to the point in the livestream where you believe she does this.

Stick around

Meantime we just let girls and women take the hit, appear in Court - if it ever gets that far - and have the added delight of referring to their attacker as 'she' - great plan.

Yeah. You don’t know as much as you think you know about the posters on this board. That much is very apparent as is your own prejudice about what you think you know about the people who post on this board.

”There are nuances to what I'm saying- trans people should get therapy before medical interventions, of course. We should listen to scientists about what should happen with sports because self-ID doesn't work in that context for obvious reasons, but trans people who have been on hormones since early adulthood will have a disadvantage competing against their sex assigned at birth. It needs to be fair for everyone.”

Do you understand this is probably the vast majority view on this board? Or do you think you have some special views that the rest of us don’t have?

Through her messages KJK is targeting vulnerable survivors of sexual assault, then making them channel that rage into hating trans people

I'm far from convinced that the above statement has any basis in reality.

In the meantime explain to me how you justify first world females expecting 100s of thousands of dollars to be spent on surgery at the same time as bitching about billionaires?

I'm kinda struggling with the equality formula you all use?

It must be really simple?

No?

And yet more indication you have a very deep prejudice about somebody without understanding what they are doing.

You do seem to be rather ignorant about what happens at those events.

If I had a penny for every time I'd heard Kellie-Jay Keen and her followers use the term 'slippery slope' I'd be very rich.

If you were very rich you could pay for all the drugs and surgery too.

But you are not. And you won't. You do expect the rest of us to pay for this though don't you?

The best advice I was ever given was 'seek to understand before seeking to be understood '

OP tell us what you have done to understand the gender critical position

Or do you just expect everyone to understand you?