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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Asked gender and pronouns on antenatal form

229 replies

bbypinkluffie · 21/04/2023 10:58

So I’m 7 weeks today with my first, and yesterday I got given a midwife, and my first antenatal appointment was booked, and was told I had to fill this form out before the appointment, it had an entire section where the questions were “is the gender you were assigned at birth the gender you identify as now?” And “what gender do you identify as?” And “what are your pronouns?” I didn’t want to participate in their questions, as I don’t agree with gender ideology, I don’t want to have to “declare” myself a woman, I am one. I don’t want to “identify” as a woman, I am one. I’m pregnant for heavens sake! But regardless I filled out the entire gender section, saying yes I identify with my assigned gender at birth, I identify as female and my pronouns I chose as she/her. I only did this to avoid being asked during the appointment as it’s my first appointment and my first pregnancy and I don’t want it being ruined by being asked about pronouns. I only pray now I’ve jumped through their hoops I won’t be called a “pregnant person” or “birthing person” or “chest feeder” now. For heavens sake!

OP posts:
Gall10 · 22/04/2023 14:08

When you go into labour they’ll have a bloody good idea of what sex you are!

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 14:33

Good God is it really that serious? It's not harmful to ask someone their pronouns I don't know why you took so much offence to it. Some people who can get pregnant are not female, for example intersex people.

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 14:33

bellinisurge · 21/04/2023 11:34

"But some pregnant people who are biologically female will identify as male"

There are only pregnant women. Ffs.

OP, you may need to breathe through instances of this stupid bullshit. Stay well.

What about intersex people who can get pregnant?

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 14:34

DifficultBloodyWoman · 21/04/2023 11:53

My grumpy self would have put a line through it.

I had a few forms during pregnancy that asked for gender and I crossed it out and wrote ‘sex’ instead.nobody commented but one older lady smiled and laughed approvingly. I felt vindicated!

It's not really that big a deal though, is it. Of course nobody gave you the validation you crave because you're taking it far too seriously

Kucinghitam · 22/04/2023 14:35

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 14:33

Good God is it really that serious? It's not harmful to ask someone their pronouns I don't know why you took so much offence to it. Some people who can get pregnant are not female, for example intersex people.

Dear god, is this really the level of argument TRSOH can muster?

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 14:36

ArabeIIaScott · 21/04/2023 14:10

“When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression."

This is very correct! Glad someone said it

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 14:37

Thelnebriati · 21/04/2023 14:27

Inclusivity would be having the gender ID questions in addition to the rest of the form, as an option for people that need them.

Forcing women to answer irrelevant questions about their gender dysphoria when they don't have it is not being inclusive.

You're being dramatic. It was a question about pronouns and gender, they're hardly demanding the world. If you're a woman just write 'female, she/her'. Takes two seconds and is not the end of the damn workd

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 14:38

Gall10 · 22/04/2023 14:08

When you go into labour they’ll have a bloody good idea of what sex you are!

They asked gender not sex

YouJustDoYou · 22/04/2023 14:41

When I'm asked my pronouns on a form, if there is an "other" box I reply "I'm not religious". Because it's a cultist religion, which I will have no part of.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 22/04/2023 14:41

QuintanaRoo · 21/04/2023 11:19

But some pregnant people who are biologically female will identify as male. The forms are there so staff don’t upset them by referring to them as she/her if that’s not what they want. You can disagree with someone who identifies as a man being pregnant all you want but the nhs provides holistic, patient centred care and if they get it wrong there will be complaints

im a midwife and believe me I’ve seen the sort of complaints along these lines.

How many of male identified pregnant patients you have seen?

And how many women?

Why are you happy to offend the women but not the male identified pregnant patients?

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 22/04/2023 14:45

Sorry, I see you have addressed this.

Ignore me.

loislovesstewie · 22/04/2023 14:46

To be pedantic the term intersex is not used, generally speaking. The correct term is DSDs. People who have a DSD are in the great majority either male or female, having the characteristics of both male and female is extremely unusual. And if a person becomes pregnant then they are clearly female. Men don't become pregnant no matter how a person identifies.

MargotBamborough · 22/04/2023 15:50

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 14:38

They asked gender not sex

Gender isn't a thing that people have.

MargotBamborough · 22/04/2023 15:52

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 14:33

What about intersex people who can get pregnant?

That's a pretty offensive way of referring to women with a DSD.

RedToothBrush · 22/04/2023 16:00

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 14:37

You're being dramatic. It was a question about pronouns and gender, they're hardly demanding the world. If you're a woman just write 'female, she/her'. Takes two seconds and is not the end of the damn workd

The implications of replacing sex with gender are huge.

It IS a big deal.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 22/04/2023 16:09

RedToothBrush · 22/04/2023 16:00

The implications of replacing sex with gender are huge.

It IS a big deal.

I don't want to write She/her.

This is like asking me whether I'm "cis".

Sorry, no.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 22/04/2023 16:10

Sorry, RedToothBrush, wrong quote.

It was supposed to be the paulinesmithson comment.

RedToothBrush · 22/04/2023 16:24

She /her and cos are offensive to me as they are forcing beliefs on me and taking away sex based protections.

It's not a neutral act.

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 16:27

RedToothBrush · 22/04/2023 16:24

She /her and cos are offensive to me as they are forcing beliefs on me and taking away sex based protections.

It's not a neutral act.

how do you want people to refer to you then? no pronouns at all? everyone has pronouns

Hepwo · 22/04/2023 16:27

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 14:33

Good God is it really that serious? It's not harmful to ask someone their pronouns I don't know why you took so much offence to it. Some people who can get pregnant are not female, for example intersex people.

The male ones by any chance?

RedToothBrush · 22/04/2023 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MagpiePi · 22/04/2023 16:45

hotdiggetydog · 21/04/2023 13:41

Why are you so upset about attempts at inclusivity?

Any references to 'gender identity' make me feel excluded. But I am just one of those boring, biological women, so my feelings don't matter. Obviously.

MrGHardy · 22/04/2023 16:46

We live in a clown world.

Hepwo · 22/04/2023 16:57

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 16:27

how do you want people to refer to you then? no pronouns at all? everyone has pronouns

No one "has" pronouns. We don't "have" bits of grammar. They just hold words in sentences together.

No-one cares about it unless they are trying to make people validate them or the belief.

RedToothBrush · 22/04/2023 17:23

Hepwo · 22/04/2023 16:57

No one "has" pronouns. We don't "have" bits of grammar. They just hold words in sentences together.

No-one cares about it unless they are trying to make people validate them or the belief.

Language has power.

The idea it hasn't is nonsense.

Why force people to use pronouns in the first place if it 'meant nothing'?