Teacher made to apologise - “good afternoon girls”

[MrsMurphyIWish]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11976891/Female-teacher-forced-apologise-saying-Good-afternoon-girls.html

I’m a teacher and I have to apologise to a student for inadvertently calling a student by birth name and not chosen name. (Was early in school year and was calling the register in auto pilot). Had email from pastoral about how upset I had made them feel. I fell on tenterhooks round this student - especially at parent’s evening and reports as their parents are unaware so I have to use birth names. This is the worst that’s happened to me - I really feel for this teacher.

I have greater concerns about the work of the Travistock and males who have committed sexual crime’s claiming to be women. But in your situation OP and the one in the daily mail I think an apology is the right thing to do. I feel sympathy for parents evening stress.

The school shouldn't be changing names without the permission of the parents.

When teachers are made to apologise under watch of another teacher - bowing to the pressure of children who've clearly had unfettered access to dangerous ideology online - for making a clear mistake, something's gone very wrong indeed.

The school is part of the Girls' Day School Trust. I hope they will be apologising for their offensive name!

The school itself isn't named but what's the betting it makes use of "girls" in its promotional material ... ?

I don’t know why parents are unaware. Students are my school transition without parental involvement but some do not want their parents involved, hence why their names isn’t changed on register and I forget when not thinking. Fortunately, I’ve never made the error at parent’s evening. I just omit pronouns and repeat their birth name. Dread to think the trouble I would cause/get into if I accidentally made parent s aware.

Some parents are so so silly they don't know they have a son not a daughter.

Not to worry, these children can rely on their rainbow families, no safeguarding concerns in helping and facilitating children in keeping secrets from their parents.

What would happen if you just refused?

I think I’d be looking for a different job at a less extreme school.

*name isn’t

Disciplinary for not abiding to safeguarding. Current safeguarding references that parents should “ideally” be involved but that doesn’t mean “must”.

Because senior leaders make these decisions and tell class teachers and tutors to do it, and just like the woman in the news article, we get disciplined if we don't.

Are you a member of a union? Im
not sure they could discipline you for forgetting to say a word, whilst reading through the register with the name on it that you read out.

I’d be tempted to call their bluff and refuse to apologise. However I know no everyone is able to do that for many reasons, so I understand if you feel you can’t refuse.

I always thought the register was a ‘legal document” that had to be accurate? How does that work with calling the incorrect name?

It’s difficult for teachers to resist this madness if SLT and the DSL are captured by the current, dangerous thinking infiltrating schools.

A good DSL (and Headteacher) would not agree to socially transition a child without parents’ knowledge. There is no good reason to keep it a secret, unless school staff have a child protection concern (ie. The child would be at risk of harm if parents were informed). In which case a report should be made to children’s social care, not a whole secret life set up by the school.

I think this is shocking and an apology is not needed. If children/adults want to change their identity they can ask others to lie on their behalf to support them but forcing this should not be acceptable. Demanding apologies, people feeling they have been forced out of jobs reminds me of struggle sessions during the cultural revolution.

Good luck finding a 'less extreme' school on this issue. The pastoral leaderships all seem to be Stonewall trained.
Schools can withhold information from parents in cases of 'genuine safeguarding risk'. Often school leaderships justify this in that the parents might not support their gender identity and that would be 'literal violence' dont you know so that's a safeguarding risk.
At my school we have some kids whose parents know but prefer not to go along with it, so we use preferred name and pronoun at school with their knowledge but their actual name on reports. Others parents don't know at all. And one the parents managed to convince school that we werent allowed to use trans name and pronouns. But just the one.
Out of my average class of 30 I have to remember:

• who has SEND and what it is
• serious medical conditions (diabetes, epilepsy)
• family circumstances (young carers, bereavement)
• actual names
• pronouns and preferred names
• exactly what the deal is for each trans student

I teach 12 different classes across the week. And if I get the last one wrong, I get disciplined.

I am but seeing as there are two union reps in my school that have never raised concerns about our procedures, I don’t think I would be supported.

I don’t think my school is extreme though - it’s happening in friend’s schools too. The newspaper article highlighted the extreme but calling students by chosen names isn’t unusual.

The register being a legal document is the problem. They have to put actual names on it, and then expect us to remember which 20 odd pupils this week have different preferred names and what their pronouns are and we get hauled over the coals if we read out the name on the register.

OP what medical or psychological qualifications do you and your senior leadership team have that make you qualified to impose a powerful psychological intervention on children in your care, and to do so without the knowledge of parents?

Why are you telling children that you will keep secrets; a huge safeguarding fail?

Why are you breaching human rights as a state actor interfering in family life?

Why are you ignoring parental rights to provide guidance to their child?

From a selfish point of view, it’s a headache for us secondary teachers! I have two kids of my own. My headspace is full before I even get to work, then we have school admin, classes to teach, needs to be met. I often mix up my own kid’s names! Luckily they don’t want to cancel me as their mum.

None.

I am a lowly mainscale teacher (albeit upper pay). I have no power to challenge SLT.

It’s insanity. Invasive and concerning.

Re hiding information from parents someone has linked an article on another thread, it looks set to change

Can you contact someone senior in the union to support, access some legal advice.

Have they requested your apology in writing?

I agree with @Shelefttheweb