Teacher made to apologise - “good afternoon girls”

[MrsMurphyIWish]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11976891/Female-teacher-forced-apologise-saying-Good-afternoon-girls.html

I’m a teacher and I have to apologise to a student for inadvertently calling a student by birth name and not chosen name. (Was early in school year and was calling the register in auto pilot). Had email from pastoral about how upset I had made them feel. I fell on tenterhooks round this student - especially at parent’s evening and reports as their parents are unaware so I have to use birth names. This is the worst that’s happened to me - I really feel for this teacher.

I was just thinking this needs whistleblowers en masse to be provided with a safe and secure means of telling people with the power to change things, what's going on. It would be good if there were a Parliamentary committee that could assist. Maybe one of these groups would know. Or maybe Baroness Nicholson might be a good port of call in addition to the groups listed.

And don't even think of looking to OFSTED for help!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10931423/Ofsted-cites-lack-gender-identity-teaching-primaries-factor-inspection-reports.html

I contacted the ‘safe schools alliance’ about a year ago when a poster on MN recommended them. I had lots of good advice that I forwarded onto the pastoral team but I had the reply about “ideally parents should be involved”/“significant harm”/“best needs for child”.

The capture of Ofsted by Stonewall is so shocking Flowerly. They're currently engaged in below the radar reverse ferreting but the receipts are all there.

The last Ofsted I went through was 2018, I don’t remember being sent a link to fill out a staff survey. Maybe I erased all knowledge of my last school from my mind!

I’m not sure how I can raise this on an individual basis. Ofsted don’t speak to individual teachers without responsibility, and then Heads of Dept are only spoken to about the curriculum.

Two different things here:

1. If you think the safeguarding procedures are inadequate you raise it with your DSL and head of pastoral, however, even in really toxic schools you can ALWAYS take a concern like that to Ofsted. That does nothing for the individual child.

1. If I thought an individual child was being socially transitioned against parents will/knowlege I would (and I have) first discuss the circumstances with the relevant pastoral lead. You may find that SS are behind the decision not to inform parents, in which case there is nothing you can do, but if you are not given a reasonable explanation for not discussing it with parents it's perfectly professional to escalate to DSL/Head of Pastoral.

If a headteacher or Deputy acting as DSL (really the only people who can make that choice) was keeping info from parents without good reason I would have no hesitation in raising a grievance and a complaint to governors if it couldn't be resolved.

I've never experienced this happening except where parents are deemed abusive and SS involved. I have experienced underqualified pastoral staff making poor choices which were rectified when senior staff became involved. I have experienced CAHMS and SS making decisions I wasn't convinced.

Any evidence that transition is harming the child should be logged on CPOMS (or your equivalent).

The last Ofsted I went through was 2018, I don’t remember being sent a link to fill out a staff survey.

You will have been but a staff survey is not relevant to serious concerns about safeguarding- that sort of disclosure should be by direct contact. There is nothing wrong with contacting Ofsted but it's really a last resort when all other avenues have failed.

I suppose I'm hoping (given how appallingly some schools / teachers are behaving) that a case will be taken against a school. There's lots of legal support available now & the evidence of schools acting outside the law is immense. Having said that, I understand why individuals must protect both their careers and their children first.

It was a DSL who asked me to apologise to the pupil. I have tried to forward advice onto pastoral before but they say they’re working in the best interests of the child.

I suppose I'm hoping (given how appallingly some schools / teachers are behaving) that a case will be taken against a school.

There are two barriers to that.

First, if staff are acting from genuine concern, it would be hard to prove extreme negligence in an area which is disputed among medical professionals, with weak guidance and where the child is coming to no physical harm. Poor practice is not, in itself, enough to bring a lawsuit.

Second, the child would need to bring the case. Often they don't realise they've been harmed for many years, if ever.

Going to have a good hard think about next steps now. I originally started the thread with my own frustrations but now I’m feeling guilty about staying silent (well relatively. I have raised concerns but never challenged the replies I have from pastoral).

I wish I were braver!

It was a DSL who asked me to apologise to the pupil.

An ADSL or The DSL? A member of SLT or a HoY? The situation is very different depending on this.

Also, anyone can ask you to do anything. That is not the same as Directing you.

I'm happy for you to DM me if it would be helpful. I'm happy to give you a steer about how to go about challenging it if you want to.

I am a union rep and a teacher of 20 years but I would add the caveat that I'm a random off t'internet. You should speak to a union Case Officer (not rep) before taking any action more than chatting to people informally.

Have you read Asleep at the Wheel by the Policy Exchange and the Cass Interim Report - not teaching you to suck eggs, but they are good starting points.

SLT/deputy head.

Asking/encouraging in my school means “do it”.

I did apologise and I was saddened that I had made the student feel uncomfortable - I’ve taught decades! I want all children to enjoy being in my class. What I wanted to say though was “I’m old, I have a million things to remember inside and outside of school. I call my own children by the wrong names. I’ve called them the cat’s name before.” It was a genuine error but now I’m hyper aware of how I address pupils/my classes and it’s such a brain drain! I know that sounds really selfish.

Honestly we wonder about why there are teacher shortages then we have this shit where teachers are supposed to put themselves at risk of disclipinary or breach safeguarding. Its an impossible choice and its one so many people won't put themselves in.

DH knows another leader in scouts who has come across an aggressively trans kid who has been utterly militant about identity. He's considering quitting.

The sooner the DfE gets its act together and sort out this mess and stops putting teachers and other kids at risk the better. Putting boundaries back in place so these kids won't be able to push their luck and get special treatment is liable in itself to eventually discourage transition (after the inital full on toddler tantrum thats almost inevitable when guidance is changed).

Its not selfish. Don't suggest its selfish.

Its kids pushing boundaries.

I’m a teacher and I have to apologise to a student for inadvertently calling a student by birth name and not chosen name. (Was early in school year and was calling the register in auto pilot). Had email from pastoral about how upset I had made them feel. I fell on tenterhooks round this student - especially at parent’s evening and reports as their parents are unaware so I have to use birth names. This is the worst that’s happened to me - I really feel for this teacher.

This is outrageous @MrsMurphyIWish I really feel for you.

And your school deliberately conceals things about their children from parents. That is also outrageous and a serious safeguarding issue.

I understand that. I was thinking about the removal of parental rights / responsibilities which are enshrined in law. The parents of every child in care of the state retains PR and must be consulted by social workers about all decisions, sign consent forms etc - unless the courts say otherwise.

The idea that teachers can suddenly remove this right from parents is nonsensical, but as has been clearly evidenced on this thread, the capture of the education establishment by trans activist groups has resulted in all this and made it really difficult for parents to insist on their rights being respected and safeguarding being the priority.

No I haven’t, thanks. I have read other documents from ‘the safe school alliance’ and have forwarded them on but I get the responses as I’ve posted above.

Colleagues who I speak to also don’t seem to be as bothered as it as I do. They either accept changes without question, or see it as a joke (especially when students change their names to objects and colours - I’m not mocking, some students have).

My school is massive on student mental health - every day a mental health activity is completed which is obviously a great initiative. However, I also believe it’s gone a bit too far. We don’t challenge pupils anymore in case it affects their mental health - about anything! Again, that’s another thread.

@rogdmum

"In our case, our son was told “in confidence” that his sister was now a boy at school and he was expected to keep this from us (he didn’t)."

Wow. That is so outrageous that my instinct is to disbelieve it. (To be clear, I do believe you! Just, wow. WOW.) Insane to ask that of a child. Both your kids have been badly failed by that school.

Asking/encouraging in my school means “do it”.

No, it doesn't- unless you allow it to. You are a qualified teacher, you can't be told to do anything against your professional judgement of the child's best interest.

(I recently apologised to a child for exactly the same thing. Entirely my idea because I judged that I would only get a very volatile child, new to me, on side by meeting her on her terms. Now I've got a decent relationship with her. Presumably this member of SLT thought they were helping)

That incident has gone now, I wouldn't personally be too bothered by the 'making me apologise' so much as the issue of what's happening to the kids.

If your school is transitioning kids, without parental requests to do so and without informing them, it is your professional duty to whistleblow. Just make sure you know the full situation first, follow the written procedures and the advice of a union Case Officer.

I know that sounds really selfish.

I know exactly how hard things get. You do not sound at all selfish. Look after your own wellbeing and do only what you can- but you can probably do more than you think.

"In our case, our son was told “in confidence” that his sister was now a boy at school and he was expected to keep this from us (he didn’t)."

God what are these people thinking?

I don’t know what we can do to fight this. Poor dc

The sooner the DfE gets its act together and sort out this mess and stops putting teachers and other kids at risk the better.

At this point I feel like DfE should be in special measures. Or broken up. Or overseen by a department capable of both engaging brain, and saying no to TRAs both inside and out.

We don’t challenge pupils anymore in case it affects their mental health

Whatever you do, find another school ASAP.