Teacher made to apologise - “good afternoon girls”

[MrsMurphyIWish]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11976891/Female-teacher-forced-apologise-saying-Good-afternoon-girls.html

I’m a teacher and I have to apologise to a student for inadvertently calling a student by birth name and not chosen name. (Was early in school year and was calling the register in auto pilot). Had email from pastoral about how upset I had made them feel. I fell on tenterhooks round this student - especially at parent’s evening and reports as their parents are unaware so I have to use birth names. This is the worst that’s happened to me - I really feel for this teacher.

The main Unions are fully captured so they won't support the OP in this unfortunately. I am currently fighting my school's trans policy which also advocates keeping secrets from parents. I have joined the Free Speech Union as well in case I get into hot water. I am not giving up this fight for the troubled teen girls in my care.

On the union front, you may need to change to one that isn’t captured. But you should do so. ‘I just did what I was told’ is not good enough.

I could but I have contacted my local secretary before on other matters (regarding directed hours and pay etc). Wasn’t much help as DfoE guidance (on everything) is so woolly it can be open to interpretation.

I had an e-mail requesting I meet with the student and make a verbal apology. Almost like a restorative behaviour meeting for me!

Surely when the parents do find out there'll be a massive complaint coming to the school?

You shouldn't have to apologise. Surely that's creating intolerant children where they can't recognise a simple slip up and move on.

dreading dd starting high school

I am as concerned about social transition in schools as I am about the goings on at the Tavi. Social transition is a powerful psycho social onterv

This is the article on the other thread

Hopefully it will help override the union / school ordering it issue

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11978023/Schools-tell-parents-children-start-using-different-gender-identity.html

Quite - it is schools that are creating the fodder for Tavi

Argh, pressed enter too soon.

Social transition is a powerful psycho social intervention which schools are in no way shape or form qualified to make decisions about.

Having a school support a social transition without parental knowledge/consent undermines the child’s sense of stability within the family until and has a raft of wider impacts.

I cannot stress this enough.

Honestly, this is what schools are like. Mine isn’t unique. The article is the extreme I admit but allowing students to transition without parental acknowledgment isn’t.

Sadly, it’s just “old” teaches like myself who feel uncomfortable. In the past some lovely Mumsnetters sent me links to forward to pastoral, but DfoE guidance states “best interests of child, ideally …”. Can’t overrule that.

It’s very unlikely a union would be sensible or helpful.

It is crucial that schools and colleges provide maximum confidentiality in supporting trans students. Trans students may choose to apply for a gender recognition certificate once they reach the age of 18; it would be a criminal offence for someone who has been told that someone is trans in the course of their professional role to disclose this information without the consent of the student. In all other cases, the wishes of the pupil or student in respect of disclosure should be respected. Schools and colleges should ensure they discuss with students, and where necessary with their parents or carers, when it will be necessary to disclose trans children’s legal names, for example when registering for exams and for medical record purposes.

https://neu.org.uk/media/1836/view

NEU is captured. Note “where necessary”.

Again, the caveat is “The guidance is expected to include an exception for cases where informing parents could expose children to risk of 'significant harm' at home. That’s how it stands currently. I don’t believe (sadly) that anything will change. The guidance is also non-statuary.

How do you determine that?

Socially transitioning a child (ie what your school is doing) is not a neutral act.

Encouraging a child to keep secrets from their parents is the opposite of safeguarding.

OP, please think really carefully about what you are being asked to do here. If you are a parent, think about how you would feel if you found out your child was going by a different name at school and treated as a member of the opposite sex.

There are red flags all over this practice (unfortunately, I know it is increasingly common in schools). There are parents on this board who have found out their children have been socially transitioned without their knowledge.

I appreciate that you aren't SLT, but as a teacher you are in a position of responsibility, and this is a very concerning practice. Someone has to be questioning this.

Do you really, genuinely think that all of the children at your school would be in danger if their parents found out that their children were secretly trans?

Very admirable. Must be hard to stand out against it.

And it’s all kept very hush hush in the Independent sector with parents hitting a brick wall of they try to raise it within the various independent self managing bodies (none of which have any way for parents to directly complain- any trying to raise awareness is knocked back by both ISC and HM Conferences with “there is no way for parents to complain to us”).

This means numpties like Barnaby Lenon, ISC Chair, to write utter tosh like this saying there is no problem at independent schools because if there were, private parents would be up in arms in the press over it. 🤔

https://www.isc.co.uk/media-enquiries/isc-blogs/no-independent-schools-have-not-gone-woke/

I guess then op you have to decide if you’re just going to apologise for an easy life or stand up and take the potential issues that come with that.

Not an easy decision.

I would’ve highly tempted to get some anonymous messages to the children’s parents about their children having alternative names in school.

I’d go a step further and say no social transition without a gender dysphoria diagnosis and the supervision of a multi disciplinary team!

My stepdaughter was transed at school and we’re still deciding as to whether to take it to court or not.

Do you mean, “how do you determine significant risk”? I’m not sure. That’s the current guidance and what will be in the new guidance according to the article.

To me it seems the government want to be seen to be addressing the matter, but have left it open to individual schools to manage which is what we have now.

The guidance is expected to include an exception for cases where informing parents could expose children to risk of 'significant harm' at home.

So how is this risk assessed? Please don't say you're just expected to guess?

School systems aren’t built with this in mind, I know parents who found out when they went to top up the dinner money account online and found a different name on the account.

You read the register - why should you apologise for that?

This seems key

It sounds like everyone is powerless in the face of this ideology rather than thinking rationally about the impact on the dc

It sounds like even more detail is needed as at every stage people say they don’t know and hide it anyway

It really is. This is all utter nonsense!

Or take the kid’s word for it (words that have been learned from Jeffrey Marsh on TikTok).

Even if you are enmeshed in the ideology, it is surely a better lesson for the trans teen that people will make mistakes, with no malice intended, than to take this drama seriously.

They can't use the "outing them" argument when the girl is in a girls school either, it's only about validation.

If you have the interests of the pupils at heart, you don't set them up for a life of feeling hated by simple mistakes.