BREAKING NEWS! Peter Murrell in custody for questioning re. funding of SNP

[Tillytrotter67]

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/10472558/nicola-sturgeons-husband-arrested-peter-murrell/

Posted too soon!

I mean, they need the Stone down in that there London next month for Chas's party s perhaps that's why they're digging?

tongue firmly in cheek officer, I'm not suggesting for a moment that the former First Minister has been pilfering state treasures

Jokes are fine as long as they steer well clear of real speculation. The stupider the better. Of course when one of the stupider jokes turns out to be the truth they will come for you :)

Is "Life Imitating Art" accepted as a valid defence?

Oh man

scroedingers jokes

that might result in me seeing the inside of a Scottish prison if I get the tone wrong

<pulls at collar>

By making very bad jokes! Frequently.

Roll up, Roll up, it’s being reported in The National that ‘SNP supporters call for donations to party after Peter Murrell arrest’ …
Now, call me cynical but it would surely take quite a trusting soul to part with their hard earned cash in light of recent events.
Perhaps a gift token for the local garden centre would be more appropriate?
I gather there’s a special offer on turf.

Well if you've got money to burn. maybe some stashed away, buried away somewhere now would be a good time to move it. Garden vouchers seem as good a choice as any.

Yeah, but at least you get to choose which part of the estate you end up in.

You lot seem very skilful at treading this fine line..

With this one it's easy. Think of the stupidest most out there, never going to happen thing that could be going on.

That's probably what is happening so don't post that!

Post any other random shit!

If Peter’s secret sausage sauce turns out to be a real part of this case, I think we will all be flabbergasted.

Can i choose the part that’s outside the walls?

Any particular part? The car park? Or Tenerife?

Yet unsurprised!

Nothing surprises me about any of this any more!

Sadly, I think you’re right.

Maybe you’ll learn what you need to do to get the police to come round, pull up
your dandelions and pressure wash your patio as a result, though.

Maybe you can choose which estate you fancy instead. Maybe they’ll put you up somewhere in balmoral.

https://mobile.twitter.com/danwnews/status/1643890843433025538

So this happened earlier today! Silly buggers struggled with the police tape.

I think they're hunting for Easter Eggs.

Maybe they were building the ferries in the back garden and that’s what’s caused the holdup.

Maybe wee nic has just invited them round for a barbecue so they can try Peter’s secret sausage sauce for themselves. After all, they did such a good job on the raised beds.

😆

To quote D. Trump out of context ‘They’re not sending their best’.

20 coppers at the scene of a non violent crime seems a bit excessive. How much is this costing the public?

Or maybe they all just popped round on their lunch hour to have sneaky squiz at Nic’s gaff?

Or maybe they all just popped round on their lunch hour to have sneaky squiz at Nic’s gaff?

I mean… that one is not outwith the bounds of possibility. Is it?

It’s funny how they sort of match up in a line and then struggle with a bit of tape.

Nicola will be pleased that she just picked up some cheap sausages at Aldi for the barbecue. Don’t want to waste fancy sausages on this kind of stuff.

It’s ok if it rains too. There’s plenty of cover with those nice police gazebos.

If making jokes on this thread can get the Scottish government to demonstrate their displeasure by sending me to Tenerife I am HERE for that

How will this be referred to in times to come?
Tapegate?
Sausagegate?
Greensausagegate?
Sausagesaucegate?