BREAKING NEWS! Peter Murrell in custody for questioning re. funding of SNP

[Tillytrotter67]

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/10472558/nicola-sturgeons-husband-arrested-peter-murrell/

If making jokes on this thread can get the Polis to come round to mine and power wash my slabs (oh, that sounds so wrong!), I'm up for it.

Slabwatergate.

If making jokes can get them to come round and turn over my raised beds ready for summer veg planting, I'm up for it. And if I make another one, can I also go to Tenerife (or anywhere sunny)

I definitely don't need me slabs washed though!

They might give your wheely bins a wee clean instead. Sound good?

Well maybe someone got misgendered?

Have a look at Charles Dowding, he's a great advocate of the no dig thing.

Advocate! Is that too tenuous a link to fail as a joke? My slabs are green. Green, I tell you.

Green! That's a bit stronger. My windows could do with a wipe down too.

Maybe all the police tents are because they noticed that the windows hasn’t been done in a while and didn’t want the press saying that Nicola and Peter are a bit clarty.

@SquidwardBound
clarty
Is that a newport state of mind Goldie Looking Chain word, or am I even more out of touch than I thought I was?

Nah, it's Scots. 'Oh, she's proper clarty. Look at the state of her windows'.

www.scotsman.com/news/scottish-word-week-clarty-1568421

i think the Murrell’s pure clartyness is a matter of public record, don’t you?

I'd say 'clatty' and it means similar to 'minky' or 'manky'.

I've been conducting an experiment.

Turns out windows don't get any dirtier after 7 years!

I’d pronounce it clatty. But apparently it’s spelt clarty.

The polis are just making sure that the public don’t think they live in a midden.

You slattern. DH cleans inside every week and the window cleaner does the outside every fortnight. I'm not sure that you deserve fruit cake.

Do you have to wait a full 7 years for the full benefit of this?

Asking for a friend obviously. My windows are… sparkling clean. Of course. 🪟See.

See, I wouldn't use clarty at all - I use maukit normally - 'pair of maukit bastards'.

It does seem to be about 7 years! I'm annoyed I'm back to a year and a bit! My mate visited last year and decided to wash the windows for me! I didn't have the heart to tell her I prefer the can't see out effect!

And as you're sitting there thinking is she telling the truth or joking.....shocking! The state of my windows are shocking!

I am! I wear that name with pride!

That's where I'm going wrong I need a husband!

Meh I'll stick with dirty windows!

Please let me eat cake!

I'm with beetle. Five years in to uncleaned windows here.

(I even have the husband... Neither of us can be arsed to do it)

I cancelled the window cleaner after a very dramatic incident involving window box planters.

My garden now looks great but I cannot see it through the dirty windows.

Good woman!

I'm talking about the windows. Not the husband!

Obviously! More trouble than they're worth! Just ask Nicola!

I would like to remind you though that I do live in a castle. They have a lot of windows!

It's not as if I'm being a slattern in a 2 up 2 down!

cavemum i always thought it was the scone of destiny…could do with some of those over the holiday…can’t even lay hands on buns, hot and cross

The scone of destiny....title for volume 2?

Actually imagine a scone that size! How much jam and cream would you need to get a decent covering?