Autistic teen told to call male TA “Mx” & not “Sir” or “Mr *name*

[BethDuttonsTwin]

This happened to dd this morning at school. She then came out of school at told me she no longer wants one to one help in her lessons - her EHCP says 25 hours a week. It’s too difficult to remember what to call him and she’s embarrassed she will get it wrong in front of the other students.

What now? I want to make a formal complaint. Am raging tbh. Can someone tell me who I need to be contacting please? The school are totally woke and rainbow soaked. Thank you.

If an adult is so fragile that they're terribly upset by a neurodiverse child not validating the adult and centring the adult, the adult is not suitable to work with children.

Completely this. 🚩

It's clearly going to be a significant distraction for her

"Dad" was the best one I ever had, and it was a sixth form boy who was immediately mortified. I didn't react in the slightest and just carried on answering his question. Because that's what my job was.

Refuse point blank to let him work with her. Apart from the obvious nonsense of the Mx codology; he has put his own bizarre demands to the forefront of their interactions, and he's the one supposedly supporting her.

I’d like to know that too

I have never met a single person in over 50 years with the title Mx. Not one.

The OP needs to make sure to prioritise the learning aspect in any discussion with the school - the thread does read rather like the OP is unhappy about the TA being a 'Mx', which is not going to go well.

dictionary.cambridge.org/us/pronunciation/english/mx

You can listen here.

WarriorN · Today 17:55

I've had mum a few times...

We had a lovely maths teacher in high school and I shared the same surname. I jokingly called her Mam one day and she was slightly flustered. I took to doing it regularly for a few days, as I could tell it was irritating her.

She got me, by saying, "Now Sinner, I've had enough with your naughty behaviour and tonight, you're going straight to bed with no tea and I'm going to take all your cuddly toys away!"

I always thought Ms was a written form only. How do you actually say it so that it doesn't sound like Miss without sounding like a buzzing bee?

Like hell should her autistic daughter be forced to comply with compelled speech.

Reduction of anxiety in the learning environment.

Me neither. It's neither perfectly normal nor well used.

I absolutely agree, Lolasmiles, but we don't know for sure how the TA has gone about this. I think the OP needs to do a little more digging before going in hard.

I think it's pretty obvious that the OP is upset about her daughter be so anxious as to want to refuse all her 25 hours of one to one support.

I have never heard of Mx. I’ve just googled as was baffled, I like to think I’m pretty clues up on must gender/non binary stuff (as I have a teen who has friends that have various labels etc). But Mx, nope, I’ve never heard of that.
At my sons school they call the female teachers ‘ma’am’ which I think is just hilarious 😆

Not read RTFT yet @BethDuttonsTwin so someone may have already posted.
This link about language and disability discrimination might be useful, from an earlier thread, if the SEN lead/school are not responsive:

loupreston.substack.com/p/pt-4-discrimination-dont-gobblefunk

Boiledbeetlesaurus · Today 18:04

Like hell should her autistic daughter be forced to comply with compelled speech.

Quite, unless Beth wants to explain that the TA should be addressed as Amex, as he thinks he's a credit card.

But no, he's chosen this job, to help people like Beth's daughter, it's not some accident, it's years of studying and training and if he thinks that having a fit of the vapours because a struggling child can't get to grips with his daft attention seeking, he needs to be dealt with. Firmly.

Sorry @LolaSmiles, I've realised I was replying to something you didn't actually say!

They them pronouns would be similarly confusing for a child with speech and Lang issues which is where Id also worry about this going.

The child's education is priority and this is clearly distracting / confusing/ overwhelming for her.

I'd certainly struggle to remember such details in managing high pressured situations with staff and the CPOMS write up would have to be v specific too. There's no way they and them could be used as it could be confusing.

I work in a school and I could not care less if I’m called Miss, Mrs or Ms or whatever other title. What a silly thing from the TA to fuss about.

How is the TA reacting if title is wrong? I’m a Mrs, taught for 8 years as a Miss, and every female in my school is universally “Miss” regardless of marriage etc. The one token male is Mr X or Sir. No one gets in a state about it, it’s easier for kids to remember.

It is not well used, but has been around for a long time - I just googled, it goes back to the 1970s. I was aware of it in the 90s - the small number of people I knew who used it were women (feminists).

It's been repeatedly explained to you why this is not the case, it's not the OP's problem if you cannot understand the explanations and are determined to frame a child having Autism and needing accessible education, and to be the main concern of everyone involved particularly paid staff, to be 'transphobic'.

The OP seems primarily bothered because it is 'gender bullshit'.

Where specifically do I indicate this is my primary concern? And not the potential loss of hard won essential one to one support for a child in her GCSE year. Any idea how hard it is to get that?